A CONTRACT ENGAGEMENT

His words sent instant terror crashing through her. She closed her eyes, then snapped them open again. She couldn’t be pregnant…. for Julian. She couldn’t be pregnant now. She wasn’t ready for it. As if she didn’t have enough stuff going on in her life right now.

And for Julian… She couldn’t bear the memories of how things had ended between them. She didn’t want to face him.

She couldn’t go through that again…. And now she’d would have to…. And bring him this news.

“Oh, my God, this can’t be possible!” she said, more to herself than him, hands automatically splayed on her belly. What an odd twist of fate. While she had been adamantly telling Julian that she wanted him to leave her alone, she had already been with his child.

How would he feel about this?

And what about her? How did she feel about this? She wasn’t ready for this, but it was her child… Her baby. Her heart lifted. A baby. A tiny baby was growing inside of her. And even if wasn’t ready, she knew she’d love the baby with everything she had.

Julian’s baby! That thought scared her. What if he didn’t want it? The thought choked her.

Another fear reared up to send her heart racing as she remembered the night she had gotten drunk. Her hands went to her stomach protectively.

“Oh my God. Oh my God” she said, starting to panic.

“What? What is it?” the doctor asked.

“I just remembered that I got drunk the other day. Can alcohol intake harm my baby?”

“Yes. It can”Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.

“Oh my God” Nina said again, almost yelling now. Regret rushing through her. What if she lost this baby because of her own ignorance. She wouldn’t be able to forgive herself.

“But let’s not rush into any conclusions yet,” the doctor said. “We just have to take precautions”

She nodded. “Can taking the Pill harm my baby?” she asked, because I took it… I don’t even know when anymore “Her head was messed up as she was thinking about a lot of things at once.

“No, but let’s suspend it until we get the tests back. It’s not just a pregnancy test we’re running” Her doctor, always to the point, added, “Nina, it’s alright. Please don’t panic. It won’t help you in any way right now, but you will have to take extra precautions because of your history with anorexia. I insist you see a topnotch obstetrician who specializes in high risk.”

“Of course.” She said, “I’m just terrified that I might have a miscarriage or something.” Or worse, that she’d have some kind of relapse and destroy her baby and herself.

The doctor rested a hand on her shoulder, his smile understanding.

“Calm down, Nina. Wait for the blood tests to come back because this might even be a false positive.”

“All right.” She agreed.

The next hours were sheer hell, but she held her worries inside for most of them, not telling a soul of her fears, her hopes, her worries.

Not calling Julian, for she didn’t even know what to tell him. Didn’t even know how to start, especially as he was probably still very mad at her right now. And even when the doctor confirmed that she was in fact pregnant, she couldn’t bring herself to tell anyone.

But on the following morning, Camille dropped by with a new contract for her to sign. They had just gotten a deal with Fair marketing media and she had to go through it. Of course they were needed immediately and it meant even more work was coming their way. Nina had no choice but to tell her the truth.

“A pregnancy right now might have some effect on your career,” Camille had said, and though both knew it could signal much more than that, neither brought it up.

“I know that,” Nina said. “The doctor says I shouldn’t stress myself much as the pregnancy progresses. But I know that it will be months…. At least three months before I’m unable to conceal it. I could work up perfectly until then.”

And now that she was pregnant, she would desperately need to hold on to her career, for the baby’s sake. She would need the regimen and control she had over that aspect of her life to help her stay relaxed over the changes to her body. And she needed Julian… Or maybe not.

Camille tapped a mauve fingernail on the contract she’d just delivered. “Maybe I can get them to act fast on this deal so we can be through with it once and for all.” She said,

“I’d be more than willing to do that,” Nina said, suddenly allowing a glimmer of hope to bloom inside her that there might be a way around this. She just hoped nothing was going to go wrong with the baby. The alcohol thing bothered her.

“Right.” Camille didn’t sound or look hopeful as she laid the contract on Nina’s desk and jotted something on a note. But her next words shocked Wendy to the very core. “Just saying this… Not because I think it’s a good idea, but just for the sake of saying it because you might consider it. If you don’t want the baby, you could always decide to terminate. It is unwanted and unplanned. I’m not saying you should though… Don’t get me wrong. I’m just concerned… And judging by what you have told me, I’m sure you haven’t even told Julian yet… And you said things didn’t really end well between you two. Here’s the name of a good clinic. They’ve been there for someone I know, maybe they can do the same for you. I’ll do all I can for you, Nina, but this is your career and your choice to make…. ”

Nina stared blindly at the address Camille handed to her before she jammed the note in her purse. She wasn’t sure what she would do yet… That was true. And she didn’t know how Julian would react to the news. But the very thought of an abortion curdled Nina’s stomach.

Here she was, even worried that she might have already done something to harm the baby…. She knew that even if she was scared and worried, that she wanted the tiny life growing inside her. This baby may have been unplanned, but unwanted?