Chapter 24
HARDY
Fuck, I have to go back in.
What the hell was I thinking?
I don’t want to get back together with Maple, and I definitely don’t want Everly thinking she needs to try to mend the bridge between me and my ex either. That ship has sailed.
I want Everly for myself.
Ever since I spoke with Maple, and she’s opened my eyes to what I’ve really been feeling, I know for certain that Everly is the one for me. And after last night, that thought was solidified.
But…fuck, Hudson is right.
I can’t possibly be with her.
Not when she works with Haisley.
Not when things are rocky with our dad.
Anything, and I mean anything, he finds out about us that is less than pristine, he’ll find a way to expose it. Sleeping with one of our employees is definitely one of those things, and beyond that, sleeping with my sister’s partner is just a terrible idea.
But I can’t stand here and let her think that last night didn’t have the impact on me that it so clearly had.
No fucking way.
She deserves to know the truth. And at least with that, maybe there’s a chance we can still be friends—hell, do I even want to be friends? Trying to act like I don’t have feelings for this girl, that we’re just buddies? Not sure I want that either.
But either way, she deserves to know the truth.
On a deep breath, I walk back to her door and without even thinking about knocking, I let myself in—only to find Everly curled on her bed…crying.
I feel all the color drain from my face as she looks up at me, tear-stained cheeks, a wobbly lip, and watery eyes staring back at me.
Fuck.
Me.
She quickly wipes at her eyes. “Did you…did you forget something.”
Yeah…you.
I forgot you.
I forgot to kiss you.
To tell you how much I want you.
Heart heavy in my chest, my stomach twisting in knots, I walk up to her and take a seat on the edge of her bed.
For a silent breath, I stare at her, at the pain I’ve caused her, the turmoil I’ve put us both through, and I can’t stomach it. I can’t sit here and act like everything is fine when it’s not.
“Hardy…” she whispers, her voice soft, weak.
It’s too much and before I can stop myself, I pull her up to a seated position, letting the sheets fall between us. I keep my eyes trained on hers as I cup her cheek and bring her mouth to mine.
She exhales softly while her wet cheeks momentarily press against mine, our lips tentatively kissing.
But the timid imprint of her lips against mine is not enough.
It should be enough.
I should pull away right now and not get lost in this moment with her, but for the life of me, I can’t.
Instead, I move my hand to the back of her head and deepen my kiss, sinking into the feel of her.
The taste of her.
The sound of her sweet moans as I swipe at her lips with my tongue, begging for entrance.
Her mouth parts and I take advantage of it, slipping my tongue against hers, letting them tangle, as our lips mold together.
Fuck, this is heaven. Right here. Her warm, naked body next to mine, her mouth on mine, her tongue dancing with mine. Everything about this. I don’t want to let it go. I don’t want to give it up.
I want this.
I want her.
But in the back of my head, I can hear my brother telling me to stop. Yelling at me to stop.
Begging me.
And it’s just enough to make me reluctantly pull away, and when those bright green eyes stare up at me in confusion, I have to warn myself of the repercussions.
Don’t, man.
Don’t break.
Don’t lay her on the bed, and press kisses up and down her body, revel in tasting her, spreading her legs wide, and taking what you so desperately want.
Hold strong.
I tug on my hair, frustration careening through me like a bomb ready to explode. “I’m…fuck, Everly, I’m sorry.”
Her beautiful, watery eyes search mine. “Sorry for what?” she asks.
“Sorry for walking out of your apartment, making you think you’re not the one I want. Because you are. You’re the one that I want to take out on dates, the one I want to get to know better, the one I want to spend evenings and mornings with. You, Everly.”
“But you said—”
“I know what I said,” I reply. “And it was a lie.”
She sits back, confusion laced through her brow as she brings the sheet up to her chest to cover herself up. “I don’t understand.”
Time to go with the truth. It’s the only way she won’t hate me. The only way I won’t hurt her.
“This is complicated. I fucking like you, Everly. The reason I’ve been weird around you, it’s because I realized that I like you and it—fuck—it threw me for a loop. The day I went to go see Maple at the zoo, she pointed out my feelings to me. She opened my eyes and showed me that she isn’t the one I actually want, that the person I’m supposed to be dating is you.”
Still confused, she scoots away, but I don’t let her get that far. I close the space between us as she leans against the wall behind her. “I don’t understand, Hardy.”
“I know. I’m not making sense. I’ve just been blind to the way I feel about it, and Maple helped me see it. Then last night, the entire party, Polly, Ken, and Maple were all working overtime to get us together. And why didn’t I just ask you out myself? Well, I was worried that you had put me in the friend zone, and that’s why I was being weird. Why I was avoiding you and distancing myself. I was fucking nervous you didn’t feel the same feelings as I do, and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“But…I was feeling the same way,” she says quietly, which just cuts me deeper.
“I know that now,” I say. “And last night, well, I took a fucking chance, and it was the best chance I ever took. I can’t tell you how amazing it was. I…I got lost in you.” I push my hand through my hair. “I still feel lost in you.”
“Then…then why leave? Why make me believe that you want someone else? Why did you try to hurt me this morning?”
I look away, hating myself. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you, Everly. I was…ugh, fuck, this is complicated. Hudson texted me this morning. I guess I texted him last night and told him how amazing you were at kissing and how much I liked you.” She doesn’t move, barely blinks, doesn’t offer me any sort of reassurance that what I’m saying is making any sense. “Well, this morning, he pointed something out to me that I overlooked, something that’s important.” I look into her gorgeous eyes and hate every goddamn second of this. “Since you technically work for us but more importantly, for Haisley, I can’t, uh…I can’t be engaging in anything romantic.”
“Oh.” She looks away, still not giving me any indication of where her head is.
“Yeah, and it’s a long backstory, but Hudson reminded me that Haisley is very serious about us, as in her brothers, not getting romantically involved with anyone she works with.”
She slowly nods. “I get it.”
“Trust me, Everly, if I had it my way—”
“No, I get it, Hardy,” she says with an edge to her voice, the first indication of what she’s feeling. And then to my surprise, she rises from the bed, letting the sheets slide off her body.
“Everly, you believe me, right?”
“Yeah, of course,” she replies, even though her voice is not convincing at all. She goes straight to her robe that is hanging on the back of her bathroom door. For a brief moment, I let my eyes travel down her body, my mind taking me back to last night when I had my mouth all over her silky, soft skin. But before I can fully start to reminisce, she slips the robe on, cinches it tightly around her waist, and then goes to her kitchen.
Fuck.
Not wanting her to get too far away from me, I walk up to her. “Why does it seem like you don’t believe me?”
She pulls down a mug from the cabinet and then turns to face me. “Why don’t I believe you? Uh, I don’t know, Hardy, maybe because you just gave me several reasons why this can’t work out between us.”
I grip my forehead. “Yeah, I know, it wasn’t—”
“How about this. Just tell me that it was a one-night thing for you and walk away, because that would be a whole lot easier. And it wouldn’t string me along.”
“I’m not trying to string you along,” I say.
“You’re not?” she shouts. “So, then you just tell me all of these things last night about how much you want me, how much you like me. How beautiful I am, how you’ve held back from kissing me. Then you nearly leave my apartment without saying goodbye—the only reason you spoke to me was because I woke up. Then you give me some shit excuse about work, then tell me you want to be with Maple again, and then kiss me after sending me into a tailspin of asking myself what I did to make you bolt. You made me feel used, unwanted, not good enough. Do you see what I’m dealing with here, Hardy? You’re all over the place, so I’m sorry if I don’t sound convinced that you really mean what you’re now saying.”
“But I do,” I say, growing in frustration with myself. “I meant those things that I said.”
“Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it.”
“Everly, listen, I didn’t handle things well this morning, but I promise you, this wasn’t a one-night thing for me,” I say.
“So, then you want to be with me?” she says, hand on her hip.
“Yes, I do.”
“But…” She waves her hand, knowing exactly what I’m going to say next.
“Fuck.” I pull on my hair. “I…I can’t.”
“That’s what I thought.” Staring at me, her eyes welling up, she shakes her head and says in a calmer tone, “Hardy, please. If you even remotely care about me, even a little, just leave, okay?”
“Everly—”
“Leave, Hardy. I can’t take whatever wishy-washy story you have to tell me.” A tear rolls down her cheek. “Please…just leave.”
I hear what she’s saying.
I can see the way my presence is hurting her.
But fuck, I don’t want to leave and let her think that I’m not choosing her, because I want to choose her. I just can’t.
“Can you just listen for one second?” I ask. “Let me explain.”
“You’ve explained enough,” she says as she walks over to her front door and opens it. “Now, please leave, and if you don’t, I’m going to make sure everyone in this building knows you’re not listening to me.”
Fuck.
My hands turn into fists as my frustration grows even more intense.
This is fucked.
I fucked this up so badly. I should have just told her the truth in the first place. I never should have left her apartment without a real explanation. I never should have bolted out of bed.
I should have been a fucking mature man rather than an idiot asshole who has now confused the situation so much that I don’t even know what I’ve said anymore.
But I don’t want her causing a scene for her building, more for her since she has to live here than for me, so I move toward the door. I don’t want to make this harder on her, and I want to respect her wishes. But before I step outside her apartment, I look at her from over my shoulder. “This was not one night for me, Everly. If you hear one thing from me today, please hear that this was not just one night—this was so much fucking more.”
And with that, I take off, my chest heavy and my heart feeling like it’s in shambles.
“What the fuck were you thinking?”Hudson says as he strides into my office and shuts the door.
I’ve spent the weekend avoiding all calls from my brother. I didn’t even let him in my apartment when he tried to come by. I blocked out the world, lay on my couch, and let the Game Show Network play in the background as I stared up at the ceiling, regretting every second of my interaction with Everly that morning.
I should have been truthful from the beginning. I shouldn’t have tried to sneak out. I shouldn’t have blamed work. I shouldn’t have gone back in, kissed her, and then tried to tell her the truth—which she didn’t believe anyway. It’s all a fucking mess, and there is only one person to blame. Myself.
That doesn’t mean I wanted to hear it from my brother though.
Unfortunately, we are jam-packed with meetings today, which means I’m in the office. I considered going out to the farm and checking on the almond trees just for the hell of it, maybe to find some peace even though I know operations are running smoothly. I was desperate for an excuse to avoid the sharp, cunning eyes that are staring daggers at me right now.
I lean forward, elbows on my desk as I grip my hair. “Can we not?” I ask.
“No, we’re going to fucking talk about this. And since you avoided me all weekend, we get to do it in the office.” He takes a seat across from me. “Please tell me you ended things with Everly immediately.”
My eyes meet his. “Yeah, I fucking ended it, okay? Now if you could please leave my office, I would appreciate it.”
But of course, why would he listen to me?
“Why the fuck would you even start something with her? What happened to Maple?”
“Maple wasn’t interested.”
“So, you just move on to the next female you see? Jesus Christ, man.”
“I didn’t just move on to someone else,” I say in a stern tone. “I…I developed feelings for Everly. I didn’t realize it until it was pointed out to me. And fuck, the minute it was, it felt like a tidal wave crashing down on me, leaving me no chance to breathe.”
“Feelings?” he asks with a quirked brow.
“Yeah, feelings.Do you remember what those are, Hudson? The direct response your body or brain experiences when exposed to images or objects, or people.”
“Don’t be an ass,” he says.
“Well, don’t come to my fucking office and lecture me about a girl that I like,” I nearly yell. Thankfully my office door is shut.
Hudson pauses and leans back in his chair. I can feel him studying me, that brotherly stare trying to read me, to understand where I’m coming from.
After a bout of silence, he says, “I didn’t know you liked her that much.”
“Yeah, well, neither did I.” I lean back in my chair as well, feeling that emptiness inside of me that’s been gnawing at me all weekend. Because there’s no solution to this. I like Everly, and she’s off limits. Simple as that.
The anger in Hudson starts to fade as the concerned brother appears. “Hardy, you know…you know this isn’t a good idea.”
“I know,” I say as I drag my hand over my beard.
“I don’t want to look like the dick here—I’m just trying to protect everyone.”
“I know, Hudson,” I say, and this time I look him in the eyes. “You’re not to blame here. I am.”
He slowly nods and after another bout of silence, he asks, “Are you going to be able to work with her and be okay with this? Because I was talking to Maggie, and she’s going to have Everly head up some events for us. Is that going to be a problem?”
“No, it won’t be.”
“Are you sure, because I can get someone else to plan them, mainly an event coming up that we’re putting on for some possible partners.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Don’t take the job from her. It’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?” he asks.
“Yeah, positive,” I say as I swallow the lump in my throat. “Everything is fine.”
“Okay,” he says skeptically. “because I’m going to need you to work on this event with her.”
“What?” I say, shooting him a glare. “Why me?”
“Frankly,” Hudson says, “Because you’re the one who has the most time. Jude is too busy with renovations, between the pop-up shops with Brody and Haisley’s rentals. And I’m busy juggling everything else, not to mention, I’m going to be down in LA for a week working with Huxley Cane on a few things. You’re not going to have to work hand in hand with her, just shoot over a few emails, let her know what we need, make sure the guest list is set, that kind of shit. Unless, like I said, this is going to be a problem for you.”
I feel my teeth grind together. “It won’t be a problem.”
“You sure?”
“Positive,” I say.
“Okay, because I’m counting on you, Hardy.”
“I know you are,” I say.
“And I don’t want you to think I’m being a dick.”
“I know you’re not. We stepped out and took on this new venture together, and I don’t want to let you down. I don’t want to let Haisley or Jude down. This thing with Everly…it came out of nowhere, and I wasn’t expecting it. We got close while planning the bridal shower and the bachelorette party for Polly and Ken, and then, well…yeah, that closeness turned into so much more. You don’t need to worry about it though, okay? It’s shut down.”
“Thanks for letting me know and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry, man.”
“No need to apologize.”
He stands from his chair and starts heading toward my door. Then he looks over his shoulder. “If she means that much to you, you could always talk to Haisley about it.”
“No.” I press my lips together and wake up my computer. “She’ll feel obligated to say it’s okay when I know it’s not. It’s fine, man, seriously. It’ll take me a second to readjust my thinking, but it’s seriously fine.”
When I think he’s going to leave, he doesn’t. “Give Haisley some credit. She’s married, in love… She may have loosened up these past few years, and she very much might understand.”
“I don’t know,” I say.
“Just give it some thought.”
“I thought you didn’t want me to get romantically involved with someone we work with?”
“I don’t,” he says. “But I’ve also never seen you like this before, and it makes me feel uneasy. Makes me think there’s more there than I thought.” He grips the doorjamb. “I don’t want to be the one who stands in the way of a real relationship.” Then with that, he takes off. When the door clicks shut, I exhale sharply and bury my head in my hands.
What a fucking mess.
I don’t know what to fucking do.
Of course I have to work closely with her on another party. Why wouldn’t I have to do that? Because that seems to be my shit luck.
And what’s going to suck about that is that I’m going to have to act like everything is fucking fine between us when I know goddamn well it’s not. She’ll probably put on her professional face and work through the details because that’s what she’s good at. But me, I’m not good at masking that shit. I’m going to want to talk to her. Explain what happened, try to convince her that I wasn’t trying to use her, that I really was telling her the truth. If only she would listen to me.
I know nothing could come of this, that if we talk and she does believe me, it’s not like we can go back to that night, but I don’t know, maybe we can go back to being friends because after this weekend, fuck, do I miss talking to her.
I miss her text messages.
Her emails.
Her smile.
Fuck…maybe I should talk to Haisley.
Maybe I could plead with her.
And if I’m a lucky motherfucker, maybe I’ll get the chance I want.
But if Haisley says no, then maybe I can at least have a small piece of Everly. Maybe I could have my friend back.
I grab my phone and shoot off a text.
Hardy:Hey Haisley, you free to meet up? I need to talk to you about something.
“Hey, sis,”I say as I pull Haisley into a hug before I follow her into her house.
She and Jude share a quaint bungalow on the top of a hill, offering them a view of the bay. They’re in the middle of renovations, so there are tarps hanging from doorways and painting tools gathered in a corner, but I know once they’re done, it’s going to be the perfect starter home.
“Hey,” Haisley says. “Come on to the backyard and out of this dust-covered house.”
I follow her to the back where the living room opens up completely to the backyard. Ten-foot bushes flank both sides of the yard while the back overlooks the beauty of the bay. The bushes cut them off from their neighbors, affording them a great deal of privacy, despite how close the other houses are, and the view offers them tranquility. I know it’s one of the reasons they loved the space so much, that and the charming characteristics of the bungalow style.
Since I’ve been here, they’ve updated the pool with a new liner, added more foliage, and some new outdoor furniture. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is where they escape to.
“Place looks great, Hais,” I say as I take a seat at their outdoor dining table. Being the ultimate host, she has set out some drinks, pretzels, and hummus.
“Thank you. It’s a work in progress and has been slower to come together given Jude is working all day on the other properties and I refuse to make him work overtime. But that’s okay, we kind of enjoy the chaos.”
“You’re a good wife,” I say, not trying to butter her up, but you know, never hurts.
She grins at me, seeing right through my comment. “Uh-huh, and what exactly did you say you wanted to talk about?”
I point to the lemonade on the table. “Is that lemonade up for grabs?”
“Are you nervous—is that why you need it?” she asks with a smirk.
“No.” I awkwardly laugh and then touch my throat. “Just a little parched.”
“Uh-huh.” Seeing right through me, she shakes her head and pours us each a glass of lemonade. When she hands me my glass, she sits back and crosses one leg over the other. “So, Hardy, why did you need to come and talk to me?”
Just like Hudson, always getting right down to business.
“Well, I want to preface this by saying, I need you, and I’m going to emphasize, need you to be upfront and honest with me. I don’t want you bypassing your thoughts and feelings to accommodate me, okay?”
“Wow, that’s not loaded or anything.” Her brow creases. “Is this about Dad?”
“No.”
“Because Hudson was telling me about the possible lawsuit. Is that still happening?”
“I have no idea. He’s made threats, said a lawsuit is coming, but he hasn’t cashed in on them yet. I wouldn’t put it past him to move forward on the threats though.”
Haisley shakes her head in disappointment. “I don’t get him,” she says. “I know there was a point in our lives where he was proud of us, but what happened? It’s like all of a sudden, he became this overbearing monster. I still don’t think he likes Jude. I think he just accepts the fact that we’re in love.”
“Good thing you don’t need his approval,” I say. “You only need Hudson’s and mine.” I wink, which makes her laugh.
She takes a sip of her drink. “So, is that why you’re here? For approval?”
“What makes you think that?” I ask.
She gives me a look. “Come on, Hardy. When do you ever want to meet up to ask me a question? And then tell me to be honest about my feelings and not accommodate you?”
“When I think our siblingship needs a little shake-up.”
She nudges my leg with her foot. “Be serious. Why are you here?”
I shift uncomfortably. “I wanted to talk to you about something that has happened, and before I get into it, I want to apologize first, because when everything was happening, I didn’t have you in mind—but, well, this affects you.”
“Okay,” she draws out. “What is it?”
I run my hands over my thighs, feeling really fucking nervous. “So, I’ve developed feelings for someone.”
“Feelings?” she asks. “Like, real feelings?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, how does this affect me?”
“Because it’s Everly,” I say, letting her name just hang out there in the open.
“Oh,” Haisley says as she sets her drink down on the table.
“And I want you to know that I wasn’t pursuing her at all. She was actually trying to help me get back together with Maple and, well, we got really close, and…I sort of fell for her.” I let out a deep breath. “Not that you really need to know this, but the other night, we slept together.”
Her eyes widen, and I can see this is all a shock to her, so I just keep going. I’m not sure she’s going to respond any time soon.
“Hudson found out and lectured me about how we shouldn’t get involved with anyone who works with you. For the record, Everly had no idea you felt that way. And, well, I fucked up the entire situation with Everly. I hurt her, and now I’m trying to create a situation where we can go back to being friends—but in all honestly, Haisley, I don’t want that. I don’t want to be friends. I want so much more than that with her. I realized very quickly how much she’s become my best friend. How much I want her in my life. How much I depend on her. And on top of that, how much…well, how much I enjoyed the romantic side of things, without getting into details and freaking you out. When I spoke to Hudson about it, he said to talk to you. And that’s why I’m here, to feel you out. And like I said, if this is a no-go for you, I completely understand. I fucked up, and I take responsibility for that, but if there is the slightest chance that maybe you’re okay with me pursuing her, please let me know because I want nothing more than the opportunity to make things right and maybe even have a future with her.”
Haisley pulls her legs into her chest and hugs them as she looks off to the side, her face unreadable.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org
I can feel my hope draining with every silent second that goes by.
I’m on the verge of telling her to forget I even said anything when she finally looks up at me. “Do you know what happened when I told Dad about Jude?”
“He didn’t want you being with him, right?”
She nods. “He didn’t think Jude was good enough. He thought Jude was just a construction worker with no ability to make anything of himself. But I saw it completely differently. It wasn’t about what Jude could offer me monetarily—it was what Jude could offer me emotionally and physically. It was the love and protection, the undying support he gave me. When I turned my back on Dad’s wishes, I know that was the start of the feud that we’re living through now. I know it. Because we were always yes kids. And do you know what I learned from that?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“I learned that it will never be anyone’s business who I love. And no one will ever get in the way of that.” She softly smiles. “Hardy, if you like Everly, if you have feelings for her, who am I to stand in the way of that?”
I feel all the air escape my lungs from sheer disbelief. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.” She scoots in and takes my hand in hers. “Hardy, I appreciate you worrying about how this would affect me and the business, but what it comes down to is I want us all to be happy, and if that’s being with Everly for you, then I want you to be happy. All I ask is that you don’t hurt her.”
I wince. “Well, a touch late for that.”
Her eyes narrow. “That you don’t hurt her again.”
“Now that’s something I can do,” I say and then exhale deeply. “Fuck, Haisley, I don’t think you understand how much I appreciate this. When Hudson reminded me of how you freaked out when he tried to ask out one of your employees a few years ago, I thought it was done. I told Everly it was over before it even began. That was after a few other less than ideal things I said and, well…let’s just say I have a lot of making up to do.”
“Seems like you do—because if she hates you, that’s on you, not me. You two idiots should have asked me first before reacting.”
“Yeah.” I grip the back of my neck. “Probably should have done that.”
“Now you have an uphill climb, don’t you?” she asks.
“A big one.”
“Well, better get wooing. If I know anything about Everly, it’s that she’s very serious and doesn’t give in easily.”
“I’ve noticed.” I let out a sigh and catch Haisley smiling at me. “What?” I ask.
“You know, I never thought I’d see the day when you fell for a girl.”
“I was with Maple for three years,” I remind her.
“You were with her, but let’s be honest, if you were truly into her, you would have followed her to Denver.”
I rub my eye, because Christ, everyone keeps saying that.
“Yeah, I know.”
“Tell me this, if Everly was moving somewhere else, would you follow?”
I look up at her and ask in a panic, “Why? Did you hear something?”
She chuckles and shakes her head. “No, it’s just hypothetical.”
“Jesus.” I lean back in my chair. “I mean, I don’t think we’re at that point of moving in and shit. Hell, I haven’t even taken her on a proper date. But if she were to move, I’d attempt a long-distance relationship until we got to a point where we were thinking about more serious things.”
“If you’re not serious, then what’s with the panic?”
“I mean, I’m serious about how I feel about her right now, but at the moment, she’s not talking to me. She’s hurt. She doesn’t want to talk to me, and I haven’t even been able to ask her out properly. Would I consider her one of my best friends? Yes. And after the other night, I’m suffering from the silence. So, I’m right there. I want to explore this. I want more. But I need her to be on the same page, and she’s far from it.”
Haisley smirks and nods.
“You know, you almost make it seem like you get joy out of my pain.”
She holds up her fingers and presses them together like some sort of supervillain. “Maybe a little.”
I shake my head at my sister. “Wow, Haisley.”
She chuckles and then nudges my leg again. “What’s the plan? How are you going to win her back?”
“Good question. I’m going to try to talk to her first, text her, warm her up. And if that doesn’t work, I’m moving on to plan B.”
“And what is Plan B?” she asks.
“Using our work event to get close to her again.”
“Ooo.” Haisley shakes her head. “Low blow, Hardy. Low blow.”
I shrug. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”