Chapter 46
The urge to find Gavin and punch him doesn’t leave me. Even worse is the idea of Lucy having to go through that kind of humiliation. This town is small, sure, but people have no excuse to be that small-minded.
I’d even warned him-the fucking ass-about propositioning her, and he’d done it anyway. I should teach him a lesson, but I’d promised Lucy that I’d let her handle it on her own. Her high regard meant far more to me than Gavin’s bloody nose. Hard as it is, I force myself to let it go and focus on work.
When I head into the staff kitchen later that afternoon, I stop dead in my tracks. Logan and Sarah are sitting by the kitchen counter with a cup of tea each.
What is happening to the world?
Sarah’s smile is wide. “Look who dropped by!”
Logan nods at me, but his eyes are exasperated. “Hey, brother.”
“Hey.”
“I came by to check up on those pipes by the eastern enclosure, but then, well-”
“I couldn’t let him just leave without a chat and a muffin.”
“Of course you couldn’t.” My voice is dry. It just so happens that the staff kitchen is right next to the reception, and by extension, Mandy. Sarah’s meddling knows no bounds.
She pushes the tray to me. “Come, have one.”
“They look great.” I grab a seat opposite them. “So, tell me. What lecture did I interrupt?”
My sister looks outraged, but Logan just laughs. “One I’m sure you’ve heard many times before.”
Sarah shoots me a furious look, but I just shake my head at her. “Come now, sis. We both know you mean well. Thank you for these, by the way. Pecans again?”
“Yes. And I just want you to be happy. Both of you.”
Logan and I nod. A part of me thinks she’s being unfair, but the truth is that I wasn’t too hot the first year or two after deployment. It feels forever ago.
Sarah smiles at Logan. “You should come to the staff BBQ in a few weeks. It’s going to be a lot of fun, you know.”
“Perhaps I will.”
She puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles over at me. “You look good today.”
“Thanks?”
“I’m heading out to pick up the girls. They’re asking after you again, Ollie.”
“How about you bring them by this weekend? Sophia can practice riding again.”
“I’ll do that. See you later, guys.”
She leaves through the swing door to reception and it closes behind her with soft, swinging motions. Logan puts his head in his hands and I shake my head in commiseration.
“That bad, huh?”
“She offered to set me up with someone. Some accountant or something.”
“That’s Sarah 101.”
“She even made me feel guilty for not accepting. What the hell, man?”
I grab two cans of beer from the fridge and hand him one. “Just shake it off.”
“The worst part is that she’s probably right.”
“I know. That’s the worst part.”
Logan takes a long sip and looks once, surreptitiously, over his shoulder. “Let’s go outside.”
I nod. The afternoon sunlight is warm, the ranch quiet and calm and the beer cold in my hand. For the first time in a very long while, I feel completely at ease.
“So you didn’t want to take her up on the offer?”
“Hell no. I’m not going on any blind dates.” Logan rubs a hand over his neck, troubled. “But maybe I should try to find… I don’t know. Shit, I don’t know.”
“Tell me.”He looks away and takes a long swig of his beer. “You know it’s Mandy.”
“Yes.” Did I ever, I thought drily.
“She doesn’t want to acknowledge what we once had. Won’t give me a second chance, and I don’t know… I guess I don’t blame her. I sure as hell don’t deserve one.”
“You do. We all do.” I say, and my voice is firm. If there’s something I’ve come to realize these weeks, it’s this. “And it might not be with her, but it’ll be with someone, Logan.”
He runs a hand across his face. Despite his smile and glib manner, I can see the hollows under his eyes. They haven’t gotten better. “Yeah, yeah. Sure.”
It’s been a long time since I’ve pulled the commander card. We’re not in service anymore, and out here we’re brothers-equals. But I do it now. The edge to my voice is familiar, reminiscent of old times and distant shores.
“Are you sleeping?”
He glances up at me, and I can read his answer in his eyes. No.
“When did you finish your last round of therapy?”
“Over a year ago,” he replies.
“There’s someone over in Acton. He’s specialized in veterans.”
“That’s over an hour’s drive away.”Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.
“So? You’ve endured worse.” I run a hand through my hair and say what I’ve been hiding from for years. “I’ll visit him again, too.”
Logan sighs, but this time it’s in resignation. Hardened eyes meet mine and I can see the resolution there. “Okay.”
“Good. I’ll call him tomorrow.”