Chapter 69
Chapter 69
The following day , I had left the cottage early after showering and headed to training feeling restless
and nervous .
My heart was breaking and although I knew this was a decision I had decided on , it still hurt .
I would talk to Damon no matter what , right after , I couldn’t keep delaying it .
After training and once I had showered , I quickly grabbed an oversized hoodie that fell to my thighs
and some over – the – knee boots .
I left the packhouse , my hair still wet from the shower , heading straight to Damon’s like a woman on a
mission .
Not today .
Not today , nothing was going t o stop me .
I rang the doorbell , letting out a breath I didn’t know I was even holding when I finally reached
Damon’s home .
‘ Damon ? I’m outside .
I said through the link softly .
My heart cracking a little more .
” This must be important , huh .
‘ His deep , sexy voice came .
‘ Hmm .
‘ I replied , feeling awful and waiting for him to open up , he did a few moments later .
He had a shirt on , but the buttons were undone , showing off his perfect body .
My stomach fluttered and the pain in my chest reminded me of our connection .
” Hey .
” I said softly .
” Hey , gorgeous .
” He said pulling me into his arms , I closed my eyes , hugging him tightly .
His beating heart was like a soothing melody compared to the thundering of mine … This decision I
had made … Was there really no other way ? I knew the answer to that …
” Hey … What’s wrong ? Are you ok ? ” His soft voice brought me out of my reverie , m y heart beating
like a drum as I slowly moved back and nodded , forcing a smile .
I was the selfish one here , wanting them both … but I knew who I was prioritising and what needed to
be done was for the both of us ….
” Yeah , kinda … Can we talk ? ” I asked softly .
” Sure .
” He said .
” Shall we go for a walk ?
” ” Ok .
” I said , thinking we could go towards the woods , somewhere alone … Maybe being inside would just
make it even more suffocating .
He stepped out and locked up l behind himself , shoving the keys into his pocket .
He gave me a small sexy smile and began t o button up his shirt , hiding those perfect abs from the
world .
We stayed silent and he let me lead as we walked along .
With every step I took , I felt as if my feet were dragging … Goddess … please … give me strength … I
slowed down when we were in a deserted area of the woods , the rustle of the leaves like a whisper of
disapproval at what I was about to do here … Walking down towards the river , I stopped looking
around .
We were a good way away from the Alpha’s home .
I sat down , motioning for him to sit opposite me .
He sat down , his soft blue eyes meeting mine and my heart clenched painfully .
Why did I feel like he knew this was bad news … ? ” It’s ok Raven , you can tell me whatever you need
to .
You know that .
” He said softly , taking hold of my hands , those sparks of pleasure wrapping me in warmth and kissing
my knuckles softly .
I closed my eyes , before opening my eyes and staring down at our hands .
He was special too ….
” I haven’t been fair .
” I said softly , my eyes stinging already .
No matter how hard I tried to keep the tears at bay I knew I wouldn’t be able to , not today .
He frowned slightly , concern clear in his eyes , yet he waited for me to speak .
The sound of the river and the birds chirping in the trees were the only sounds around us , yet even
then , our voices simply blended into our surroundings , promising me that my words would remain a
secret ….
or were they pleading for me to not do this ?
” Raven … It’s okay … Look , whatever it is , it’s going to be ok .
” I blinked coming out of my thoughts .
” I need to say this … Please let me speak .
Don’t tell me it’s ok , none of this is ok .
” I said , taking a deep breath .
I licked my lips , biting down on my lower one .
Where do I start ? How do you tell someone you are about to break their heart ? Especially when they
don’t dese it …
” I’m sorry you got a shitty mate like me .
‘ I whispered , my eyes stinging as I stared a this necklace , unable to look into his eyes .
” I’m sorry that I treat you the way I do … That I haven’t even treated you as mine … I’m sorry that I’m
not the mate I should have been … I don’t even get why the goddess paired someone like me with two
mates , when I have done nothing to treat you equally … I’m so fucking sorry , but it’s not enough …
Goddess , it’s not enough ….
”
My throat felt constricted , I couldn’t breathe properly .
” Gorgeous … Don’t ever blame yourself , I haven’t really stepped up either … but it’s ok … Maybe
Liam- ” I shook my head .
” Liam won’t change his mind – set … he won’t and we both know that .
” I whispered quietly , trying to fight back the storm that was threatening to break its dam .
” If he doesn’t agree , what will you d o ? Will you fight for someone who hasn’t even been fair ? Would
you fight Liam ? ” The sadness in his eyes tugged painfully a t my chest .
I knew the answer , no .
Not because he didn’t care enough , not because Liam was his Alpha , but because Damon had a
heart of gold and all he knew was giving , not taking … and that was what I was doing once again .
Hurting him .
His next words confirmed that … ”
I’m so fucking sorry … I can’t go against him … It’s not just that he’s my Alpha … He … He always put
you as number one Raven .
When we were kids … he always looked out for you , always talked about you ….
always wanted you … I’m the one who was too busy looking elsewhere ..
His voice held so much pain that he was trying to hide , but he was failing … failing s o badly .
” Or perhaps you subconsciously told yourself I was off – limits because of Liam’s love for me ? ” I
asked softly .
He looked at me , and shook his head .
We didn’t know … We never would know because we had already walked our chosen paths …
” No … If it comes down to one of us , he is the one that deserves you .
” He said softly , kissing my hands once again .
” With this curse , pushing Liam would have been fucking catastrophic .
I am not going to ever risk that .
” I nodded , if Damon or I tried to pursue anything , it would have caused Liam to go off the edge into
the darkness .
Love , bonds , and our situation weren’t as easy a s one might think … And regardless , I couldn’t use Exclusive © material by Nô(/v)elDrama.Org.
the curse as an excuse .
I clearly favoured Liam so I couldn’t hold Damon back any longer either .
The moon goddess gave some werewolves second chance mates … I prayed to Selene with
everything I had inside to give Damon someone better … Someone who would treat him like a king …
A thought at the back of my head clawed its way to the forefront of my mind , telling me that what if
Liam died ? Would I break the bond with my surviving mate ? But I knew the answer to that .
Yes , because if that happened , I deserved to be alone .
Damon was no ones back up , he deserved the best .
” Rejection … That’s what you’re implying .
” Damon said , smiling slightly .
Breaking the final grasp on my tears .
” I won’t say this for the sake of it , but because it’s the truth .
You deserve someone who treats you as the one and only king in her life .
You deserve someone who doesn’t favour another above you .
For someone with two mates , I should be equal , but even if it’s the circumstances or my own fault , I
haven’t treated you right … I can’t string you along Damon , it’s hurting me too .
” I sobbed , staring into his eyes .
I needed this , for me , for him , for Liam … No one was happy like this … But in the end , it was
Damon who would get hurt the most by the rejection , but he was hurting like this too … ” I’m so fucking
sorry …..
I’m sorry ….
” He let go of my hands , his heart pounding .
I could sense his sadness too as he cupped my face , brushing away my tears .
I gripped his wrists , the pain in my chest unbearable .
It hurt , so so fucking much .
” The same thought came to my mind too that perhaps our parting is the right thing to do , even if it isn’t
the best thing … We can’t let Liam turn to the darkness completely , and I can’t go against him … ” He
said softly , brushing away more of my tears .
My lips quivered and I looked into the shimmering eyes of his wolf .
” I love you , Raven , and even if we cannot b e together as mates … Will you promise me that you will
always be my friend ? ” He asked , his eyes shining with unshed tears .
My vision became blurred with the tears that were spilling down my cheeks .
Yes , that was a promise I’ll always keep ..
Even if Liam didn’t agree , I would always be there for Damon as a friend because he had lost so much
in life .
I know it would never be enough … I wasn’t doing him justice , and I’d carry that guilt with me for the
rest of my life … ” You don’t need to ask me that … Damon , you are always going to be someone
special to me .
I love you too .
I want you to know that …
” ” I also wish I could tell you that I did have a connection to you too … Before the mating ball , I had
feelings for you both … Liam was my first love … But I loved you too … But what’s the point in saying
all that when all I’m doing is hurting you … I broke into wracking sobs , letting go of his wrists to clamp
my hands over my mouth .
It hurt .
I couldn’t breathe .
My chest … My heart , breathe … breathe … His arms wrapped around me , pulling me into his chest .
He stroked my hair , not caring that I was soaking his shirt with m y tears .
He rubbed my back as I took deep breathes , but for some reason , I was lacking oxygen .
” I love you too … You’re a pure soul , Raven *** He whispered , his voice thick , and I dared to look up
to see his own eyes glinting with tears .
I gasped , sobbing painfully .
” It won’t be goodbye …
” His soothing words and gentle caress , why was he so selfless ? Did he agree because he wanted to
? Or was it because h e didn’t want to make my decision harder for me ? ” This is for someone we both
love .
” He added quietly , kissing the top of my head .
I nodded , for someone we both love … Moonlight Muse Author