15: He played with my feelings
15: He played with my feelings
Sophia’s POV
The days had been longer than usual. It was pure torture waiting for Alexander to wake up. It had been five days already since the incident with his father and I felt like I would give up from worrying too much about him.
I haven’t had a real meal in days and some sleep. I was worried sick about him. All the what-ifs swarmed my head and I feared I might go crazy. I knew he had always been a jerk to me and made me confused on so many occasions but I still cared about him even if he didn’t care about me.
To be honest with myself, I didn’t know how he felt about me. Sometimes he made me feel like I was the only girl in his world. And sometimes, he makes me feel like I am worthless and will never amount to anything.
I watched him while he slept with a drip attached to his right hand. He looked so peaceful. All the worry lines were gone from his face and I wished that’s how he would always be - without worry.
These past few days, I had the time to reflect on everything that had been happening to me. It had been happening so fast that I didn’t get a moment of respite. And Dianne finally let me be. She
sometimes comes around to check up on Alexander and remind me how a waste of space I was. And apart from that, there was nothing else.
My heart lept in my throat when I saw Alexander’s hand twitch slightly. I got up slowly from the chair I was sitting on and went to where his bed lay. His eyes twitched and after that, they opened slowly to reveal the eyes I had dreamt about these past few days.
“Sophia,” he croaked and I turned around to get the nurse but Alexander’s hand stopped me.
“I’m fine,” he croaked again and started to sit up while I assisted him on the bed. “Water,” he managed to say after I had gotten him to sit up on the bed, with the pillow behind his back.
I did as I was told and poured water for him into a glass that was seated on the cabinet by his bed. He took it from me and drank it in one gulp.
“How are you?” I asked him and touched his head after I returned the cup to the cabinet. Alexander nodded at me and avoided my gaze. He looked at his hand, inspecting the drip that was lodged in it.
“What happened?” He whispered. I knew he remembered what happened like the doctor had said. But he was in denial.
I drew my chair closer to him. He was so calm. I expected him to freak out when he woke up but this was a complete contrast to how I imagined what would happen.
“Before you could get to your father, he poured wolfsbane all over you. And you passed out. It’s been five days already,” I said to him and he became silent, lost in his world. I wanted to take him into my arms and tell him everything would be okay.
But how could I? When I was facing a lot at that moment. When he was unconscious, it made me realize how much I had grown into him. I watched him while he slowly turned his head and looked at me.
“You should get some rest. It seems you haven’t gotten enough these past days,” he told me and I smiled.
“I’m fine,” I lied when in truth, all the cells in my body screamed at me to get some rest.
“Stop lying to me. I can tell when you are lying. You’re terrible at it,” he chuckled with sadness and longing in his eyes.
He pulled the needle out of his hand and I gasped, stopping him. The tingles ran through the length of my hand. Alexander looked at me, staring deeply into my eyes. I was in a trance like the world had stopped as the electricity racked through me.
Alexander broke eye contact first and looked down. But I caught something sad cross his eyes which made a painful pang go off in my chest.
“You should go. I need to speak with my father,” he said and made to stand up but I stopped him. He looked at me and gently pushed me away from him but I stood rooted to my spot. He was weak, which made me wonder what exactly his father poured on him.
Wolfbane couldn’t make someone pass out, especially someone as strong as an Alpha. Alexander was burned pretty badly from the amount of wolfsbane his father used on him. And I wondered also why his father was having so much wolfsbane with him at that moment.
And Alexander didn’t seem surprised at all about it as if he had gone through this already. What exactly was going on? I wanted him to tell me everything but I knew that was only a wish that would never come true.
I pushed Alexander back on the bed and he looked up at me, anger blossoming in his eyes. “You’re still weak. The doctor needs to check up on you,” I said.
He pushed my hand away from him and stood up. He staggered slightly on his feet and got a hold of himself.
“I said I’m fine. Just go!” He snapped at me and I stiffened from the tone of his voice. He was being stubborn and I didn’t like it. I came in front of him blocking his way. I knew he was just being irritated about something and it had nothing to do with me.
“Don’t make me hurt you,” he said to me and I shrugged, looking up at his towering frame. “Just go. Don’t you see I don’t need you here? Waking up and seeing you is not something I wanted. And now, blocking my way from seeing my father. Please don’t make me say things we’ll both regret.”
I felt like I was hallucinating as my blood stopped in my veins, “What?” I took a step back like I couldn’t believe he would say something like that to me. Here I was almost dying with worry and he had to say he regretted seeing me.
I turned my face away and bit my lips. The tears that stung the back of my eyes threatened to spill. How could he be so cruel?
“Just go. I don’t want to see you,” he stepped around me and walked to the door. I balled my fists as anger consumed me.
“Is this the thank you I’m supposed to receive? I didn’t sleep a wink because I was worried sick about you and you had to be so cruel,” I whispered and turned around. His feet halted and he spun around to look at me. There was nothing in his eyes, just fatigue and something else which he quickly hid.
“I didn’t ask for you to be worried about me. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you.”
“Apology can’t erase anything. You said you wanted me back. Guess it was only for your selfish gains. I can’t believe I believed you and thought to give you a chance, a chance at love,” I laughed at the irony of it all. How stupid I had been.
I was hurting terribly as my heart bled in my chest. It didn’t matter that he wanted me and eventually got bored of me. Was I just his play toy? Stupid me thinking we had a future together.
He opened his mouth to say something and walked to me. I could see the struggles in his eyes. What was he not telling me? His mouth said something but his eyes gave him away. He must have noticed how I looked at him, because the next minute, he was back to his emotionless self.
He smirked and walked closer to me, “I never cared about you. I just wanted to see how far you’ll fall for me. It’s such a pity you’re an easy catch. Falling for me even when I had done nothing,” he laughed and my tears fell.
“Tell me this is all a joke. That you’ll come back to yourself minutes from now,” I said while my voice trembled from too much emotion - pain, sadness, grief, and most especially shame.
“It’s not. I just think it’s best you avoid me and go with any man you choose. Oh, I remember, Ryven right?” He laughed again. “So cheap,” he muttered and looked at me with disgust.
I looked away from him. It was too much to bear. There was so much I could take and this? It was the last straw that broke the camel's back. I was leaving this god-forsaken pack for good! Good riddance to all those who have laughed and scorned me.
“I know why you are doing this,” I looked back at him again to catch him lost in thoughts before his eyes focused on me. Surprise flashed across his eyes. And he looked panicked.
“You do?” He took a step closer to me. “It’s not what Dianne said. You should probably hear it from me. You know I would never do that willingly,” he blabbered and ran through his hair. He paced the room while he talked and I was confused.
What was he talking about? Dianne didn’t tell me anything. I knew he did that to me because of Dianne and how bored he felt. What was I missing again?
“What are you talking about? Is Dianne supposed to tell me anything?” I asked him and he stopped to look at me with wide eyes.
“I’m sorry. That wasn’t meant for you. You should go,” he said and hurried over to the door and stopped. Dianne was standing by the door with a look of amusement on her face.
“You should tell her,” she smirked at Alexander. I was confused by what they were saying.
“Tell me what?” I asked, looking from Alexander to Dianne. Alexander avoided my gaze and grabbed Dianne’s hand, ushering her out of the room.
“Nothing!” Alexander snapped and Dianne shrugged his hand off her. She was able to do so because Alexander was weak. She walked into the room and sat down on the chair.
“This doesn’t seem like nothing. What are you not telling me? Dianne, what is going on?” I asked her as I stared at her, afraid that if I blinked she would be gone and I would never know what was happening.
“Dianne don’t,” Alexander warned in a menacing voice but Dianne behaved like she didn’t hear him as she poured herself a glass of water. NôvelDrama.Org exclusive content.
She gulped it down, “She needs to know. The earlier she knows the better.”
“Okay, can someone tell me what the fu*k is going on?!” I swore as I was tired of the silly game they were playing. I looked at Alexander and saw real fear reflected off his eyes.
“Dianne…” Alexander started.
“Alexander traded you over to Alpha Ryven for a piece of silly land,” Dianne said, cutting Alexander off and I felt my world collapse on itself.