Crossing Paths With The White Wolf

Gonzalo POV **Trigger warning: Talk of personal harm**

I paced my room like a caged animal. Dario hadn't spoken to me since he ran us far away from her when we found out she was our mate and I was going to reject her. I lost a lot of my momentum when I saw Kassia unconscious, but it didn't matter. None of them know what happened. None of them seem to understand what she did to me. She broke me and now they want me to open myself up to be broken again.

I spent the next two days in the room. It wasn't like Helios had ordered me to stay in here, but I didn't want to see her. Or them, for that matter. I couldn't. They were all asking too much of me. Dario was still silent. I only ever heard him whimper or growl whenever certain thoughts popped into my head. Nat and Helios have come to try to get me out a few times but I've ignored them. Mama Isabel had brought me food a few times, for which I was grateful. Theo didn't try to come up. He only linked me on occasion to double check if I was OK. I'm not proud to say that I told him to f**k off and was eternally grateful that he still kept trying.

I finally began to calm down on the third day and then I was just not ready to face anyone. I felt shame and guilt at how I had treated the only family I've ever had. They would respect my decision if I just talked to Kassia. I know they would. They might, but if you reject our mate, I won't. - Dario growled.

Come on buddy, she doesn't even have a wolf. If we reject her, we can find a chosen mate with a wolf for you to run with. I tried to reason with him.

She is the other half of our soul. Even if she doesn't have a wolf, she is my mate. I will accept no other. - he said

"THAT'S BULLSHIT," I yelled out loud. "You know what happened the last time I gave her my heart. I will not do it again." There was a knock on the door that interrupted whatever Dario was going to say. I stomped over to the door and opened it. To my surprise, Adrien stood there, his face a mixture of surprise and anger. I wasn't sure why he was here. His loyalties clearly lied with her. "What?" I growled.

"Don't get bitchy with me, I was coming here to see how you were, but," he looked around and noticed the empty room, "I think you're clearly not fine considering you're fighting with your wolf." He hesitated, as if he wanted to say more, then shook his head. "Kassie is leaving. Her flight leaves at 1:30 tonight. Sebastian and I are driving her. If you're going to reject her, I would do it before she leaves so it doesn't hurt your wolf. She's not going back to Italy. In fact, I am not sure anyone will ever see her again." "What are you talking about? Where else would she be going?" I frowned.

"That's none of your business. You refused her," he said, his eyes flashing red.

"You would too if you knew what she did to me," I growled.

"You don't know what I know. In fact, I think I know more than you do at this point. You have no idea everything she lost because of you. Everything she's been through," he said.

"What are you talking about? She didn't lose anything. She's a f*****g princess." I said.

"Yeah, I thought you'd say that. Like I said, you don't know s**t about what happened to her since that night. It's a shame that you're so stubborn. You two were really perfect for each other and you'll both now be miserable because you refuse to fight for each other."

"What do you know about fighting for each other? I would have given my life for her."

"And yet, you won't even talk to her now. Really disappointing," he said as he left.

Go after mate or you'll never hear from me again. - Dario said to me. I didn't respond. My mind and my heart were warring with each other. I needed to get out of here and think. I went out to the balcony and tried to shift. Nothing happened. I tried again and nothing.

"What the f**k?" I said.

I won't let you run away again. You need to speak to mate. - Dario said.

Are you f*****g kidding me? You're blackmailing me?

I'm doing what's right. It's what you used to do. - He accused.

My own f*****g wolf. I stomped back into the room and kicked the trashcan into the far wall. I had no control right now. Rage and heartbreak fueled me. I felt betrayed by everyone, including the moon goddess. Why couldn't they see how this was killing me? She left me to die and took another within months. She didn't fight for me the way I fought for her. What kind of a soulmate was that? She left me and she was leaving me again. I grabbed the empty tray of food and threw it. It hit the dresser and the face of the top drawer fell. The small box that has haunted me for centuries fell to the ground. I went over to grab it and opened it. The band made out of spun wire stared back at me accusingly and I lost it. A noise left my throat as all my grief washed over me.

I don't know how long I sat on the floor of my room crying. I got up and put on some running shorts and a shirt. Wolf or not, I needed to clear my head. I walked out of the packhouse and began running towards the forest. I ran to the edge of the border and I turned around. There was no point in trying to cross it. Helios may not use his Alpha command often, but it sure as f**k was strong when he did. So I ran down the river's edge. I wish I could say that I used this time to reflect, but all I could see was her violet eyes telling me I needed to leave without her.

After my legs felt like they were burning, I turned back and walked back to the packhouse. I wasn't paying attention when I bumped into someone passing past the doors. I instantly put my arms around their shoulders to stabilize them and was shocked to feel sparks up and down my arms. I looked at the face attached to the slender shoulders and was met by Kassia's violet eyes. The sparks surprised me and felt so intensely wonderful that I couldn't initially let go of her shoulders. I saw her eyes widen and she gasped softly. I let her go and pushed past, trying not to let the sparks affect me. Dario fought against me, making my steps slow. He was pushing me to turn around and talk to her.

"Gonzalo please. Just give me a chance to explain." She said from behind me. Dario was pushing forward, making me stumble over my steps. "Please Lalo. I love you."

I pushed Dario back and slammed the block up as anger flooded me when I heard her use that name. "I am not your Lalo. That man you left to die in that forest is not me. That man is dead. You made sure of that." I seethed.

"I was going to go back to you. That night. My sister said you were dead. Please Gonzalo, I thought you were dead," I watched the tears flowing from her eyes. I heard her words but couldn't process them. "It broke me, when they said you were dead." "AT LEAST YOU HAD CLOSURE!" I yelled, losing the last of my self control. "At least your part of the story with me was over. It took you what, a month or two to get over the 'dirty human' and take a Beloved? You know what happened to me? My friends found me, almost dead. Beaten, stabbed and bitten." She reared back at my words, her eyes flashing red, "It took me 3 months to be able to stand again after all the broken bones had healed and you know what I did? I tried to find you. I went to find you. I thought you were in trouble for being caught with someone like me. I left my friends and went to save you. The surprise was on me though. I arrived the day you took your Beloved." Her face turned from one of pain and sorrow to confusion. She opened her mouth to speak, but I stopped her.

"Have you any idea what that did to me? You were my world. I would have given my life to save yours. I would have even left Helios, who I'd served for over 1500 years, if you asked me to run to the end of the world with you. To find out less than 6 months later you had taken a Beloved. It destroyed me. Do you know what I did? You don't, do you? No one does. I went and threw myself off a cliff. I wanted it all to end. I wanted the pain to stop." I heard a few gasps and realized we had an audience. Now they knew. They knew the secret I had promised to take to the grave. I laughed ruefully, "I couldn't even do that right. I hit some rock half way down that broke my leg and arm. I crawled under some f*****g brush and waited to die and I still couldn't even do that. You thought I was dead for 200 years. All I could see in my head was you f*****g another man for 200 years. Trying to move on and never able to."

"Lalo, I-" Kassia started.

"Don't call me that. Lalo and any love he had for you died under that brush 200 years ago." My heart broke at the look of devastation in her eyes at those last words. I wanted to take them back, because I knew they were lies. I loved her now just as much as I loved her then. But I couldn't force the words out. It didn't matter anymore. What was one more broken piece of my heart? Dario growled and whimpered through the entire thing behind the block, trying to push forward until he didn't fight me anymore. My chest was hurting. I couldn't take a breath. I could barely see anything in front of me as I stumbled up to my room. Everything was moving. I collapsed and lost consciousness the moment the door closed behind me.

***

I heard someone calling my name and felt a sting on my cheek. I growled and my eyes fluttered open. Theo's worried face turned to relief. "Thank f**k! I thought you'd had a seizure like Kassie did," he said.

I sat up and pulled a hand over my face. I don't actually know what happened. I've never passed out before.

You were overwhelmed by grief. I knocked you out. - Dario said before he retreated and blocked me out again.

"Are you OK? Physically I mean?" Theo asked. I nodded. "Good. Helios, Evergreen and Markus are waiting for you downstairs. It's important. Come on."

"What's going on?" I asked, getting up and following him.

"No clue. I was instructed to come and get you," he said as he walked in front of me. We passed by a mirror and I tried not to groan. I looked like s**t. We walked into the conference room. "What's going on?" I asked.

"Evergreen has been looking into some inconsistencies regarding Kassia," Markus said.

"I don't want to know," I said, turning back around and heading for the door.

"Gonzalo enough. You need to listen to this," Helios growled.

I gritted my teeth and sat on the table. Helios nodded at Evergreen, who looked a little surprised at my response.

"Well, it took me a bit to gather all the pieces. I looked and looked and there was no record in vampire history regarding Queen Karissa's sister and, trust me, I looked." That caught my attention. "So I had to use other means of getting this information. What happened to Kassia, I was only able to find out about it through word of mouth. I put out a bunch of feelers out to some of my contacts online and I finally found everything that happened yesterday and spent most of today confirming the accounts." He pulls out his tablet. "Around September or October of 1809, they said that Princess Kassia went on a rampage. The details as to why are unclear. She killed 4 to 7 guards (the number varies) and attempted to kill her father before she was apprehended. Then Vampire King Kassius was injured but alive. He sent her down to the dungeons to await trial. On December of that same year, Princess Kassia was stripped of her title and sentenced to death. Her name was banned from the vampire community. My contact wasn't sure what changed the King's mind or if he ever actually intended to put her to death, but her sentence was later commuted to life in the supernatural prison a month later."

I took in a sharp breath. The supernatural prison was not a place anyone in their right minds would want to end up. It was called the Hell's Pocket for a reason. "About 50 years later, when Queen Karissa ascended to the throne, Kassia was released into her service. She has been her personal assassin for the last 150 years. Rumor has it that Kassia has been kept busy. An estimated total of about 2100 kills that are on the record are attributed to her and that's only the ones that are known. Among them, the assassination of a rogue vampire group in Indonesia and another in Paris. She is the one that is sent when things are getting nasty or desperate. She's basically become a myth, a boogey man, that no one is allowed to talk about in the presence of the royals."

I sat there processing what Evergreen said. The dates are what stuck out to me. September 1809. That was the month everything happened. When I was beaten and left for dead. It was a date I couldn't forget even if I tried. That meant that when I went looking for her early the following year, she was already in Hell's Pocket. "But I heard them say the princess had taken a Beloved." I said, mostly to myself.

Evergreen responded, unaware of what his information was doing to me. "The only princess that took a Beloved during that time was Princess Karissa in early 1810. It was a big deal at the time because they said that the intended was not who she had been originally matched to. There was a lot of speculation going around as the Queen was matched and marked by Prince Armand within a month."

My heart sank. I got it wrong. I got it all wrong. She fought for me. I was the one that gave up on her the moment I heard those words. I sat there with my head in my hands as my mind went around in circles until I heard the door open. Nat came in holding something in her hands. "Kassia asked me to give this to you before she left." She handed me an envelope. I took them with a shaking hand. I recognized the handwriting on the envelope right away. I felt the tears flowing freely. I thought I knew what was in the envelope, but what I found was even worse. The ring fell out first, then I brought out the two letters. The first one was the one I wrote. It was worn yet carefully preserved. The second was a new letter and it only had a few words.

I'm sorry. I'll always love you.

Kassia

Dario howled inside my head and I wished I could do the same. Instead, I just stared at the letter.

"Where is she?" I whispered to Nat.

"She left with Adrien and Sebastian almost two hours ago for the airport. I tried to get her to wait but she didn't listen," she said.

I ran out of the room. I needed to get to her. I ran up to my room and changed. There was only one thought in my head. Get to Kassia. I've been an i***t. I couldn't lose her again. I needed to convince her to let me grovel for a chance. I felt Dario flow his strength into me and I could feel myself moving faster than I've ever moved. I dashed down the stairs and stopped when I reached the bottom step. Helios was standing at the door, arms crossed. "Helios, I need to go." I pleaded to him.

"I rescind my command. Go get your mate. Take this," he said before he threw something at me. The object hit my chest but I managed to slap it clumsily to my leg before it fell to the floor. I looked down to see the keys to the Lamborghini. I heard Nat snort next to me, and I knew that there was a joke there, but I didn't have time for it.

"Thank you." I said as I ran out the door. The lamborghini was already waiting for me outside.

'Open the gate. I instructed the guards at the gate.

I drove like a bat out of hell. I knew I'd likely end up paying for a few tickets for Helios from photo radar as I passed through the town. Adrien had said her flight was at midnight. That was only an hour away. The only way I was going to make it in time was to make up some serious time. I was an hour and a half away, but midnight was only an hour away.

I made it to the airport at 1:15. I ran to the giant board and I panicked. I didn't know where she was going. I ran to the nearest information desk. "I need to know where Kassia Bianchi was flying and if that plane has left yet."

"I'm sorry sir, I can't give out that information." She said. I growled. "Do I need to call security sir?" She asked, picking up the service phone.

I backed away. I grabbed at my hair in frustration and walked towards all of the gates. I suddenly smelled cajeta and lavender but it was faint.

Let me forward just enough. - Dario offered. I couldn't let him forward all the way. His black eyes would expose our kind.

We followed the smell across the airport. I heard her before I saw her.

"What do you mean my flight was switched to 4 pm? I booked it for midnight. I need the redeye. You see this pasty skin, I can't f*****g fly in the day. I have XP. I'm deathly allergic to the sun. Fix it now!" I sighed in relief as I saw her at a kiosk. Adrien and Sebastian were nowhere to be seen.

I took a tentative step towards her. "Kassie," I said softly. She stiffened but didn't turn around.

"I need that flight please," She begged.

"Don't go," I said, my voice cracking.

"I'm sorry miss. My system rebooted before I could correct your flight. That flight had already boarded and left a few minutes ago. If you need a red eye flight due to medical conditions, we'll have to book you for two days from now. That's our next one to the Canadian Territories." The employee informed her.

"Kassie, I just want to talk," I begged her, knowing full well she was within her rights to refuse me with the amount of times I've denied her this same wish.

"I will take any flight you have out of here," she said, and her words were like a dagger to the heart of my own making. I'd f****d things up so badly.

I took another step forward and touched her arm. She gasped as she felt the sparks but didn't look at me. "I just want to talk," I said, placing my wire ring in the palm of her hand. She had made it for me out of a pair of earrings she was wearing the day I'd given her the coral ring, saying if she had to wear something that tied her to me, I should do the same. She looked down at it and I heard the sob she tried to swallow.

"Miss, are you OK?" The employee asked, looking at me warily.

She simply nodded. I saw her other hand begin to shake as she tried to fist it to her side. I took it in my hand as I guided her to one of the waiting areas. I sat her on my lap and started taking deep breathes, encouraging her to do the same while rubbing my hands up and down her arms. I don't know if the breathing exercise was working or if it was the mate bond at work, but the tremor in her hand began to slow.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I put my forehead to her shoulder, "I'm ready to listen." She started shaking again and I grabbed her hand and began to massage it, taking deep breaths until she followed suit and tried to calm herself. I took a corner of my shirt and wiped the blood from her nose. We sat there for goddess knows how many hours in silence. I didn't want to risk pushing her. "Can we go somewhere and talk?" I asked her softly. She looked away from me but nodded.

I let her stand up and I grabbed her luggage bag. We walked over to Helios' Lamborghini that I had parked in front of the terminal. I knew I had taken the risk of getting it towed, but I hoped that with the airport being relatively empty during the night, I would still find it there. I was relieved the moon goddess was on my side and the car was still there, although there was an officer writing a ticket. I put the luggage in the back seat and accepted the ticket while Kassia entered the vehicle. I climbed in after apologizing to the officer. Kassia was looking out the window. I took that as a sign that she wasn't ready to talk, so I simply began to drive home.

Dario was pacing in the back of my head, uneasy with her silence as she kept staring out the window for the first hour of the drive.

Say something He growled at me.

This isn't the right place to talk and we can't just pull over for too long. It's already 4am. We can't risk her getting caught in the sunrise. - I reminded him. He didn't respond and continued to pace in my head as I snuck glimpses at her to see if she would look at me. "You should have just let me go. It would have been easier," she said, about half an hour away from the packgrounds.

s**t.