Chapter 75
Adrien PoV
Keep your s**t together Adrien, I thought to myself as I felt everyone's eyes turn to me. I don't know what they saw on my face, but I had a feeling it wasn't pretty.
Helios' words had caught me off guard. s**t. They are still looking at me. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I flinched, "Cariño what's wrong?" Elias whispered, a sliver of hurt evident in his voice as he removed the hand at my reaction. My chest felt tight and I felt like I had just run a marathon.Original content from NôvelDrama.Org.
I need to get out of here. "I, I'm fine. It's been a long trip holed up in a sardine can. I'm going for a walk. I'll look for you when I am back." I said. I jabbed my lips into his mouth quickly and ran out as fast as I could, hoping they wouldn't follow. Once I was out of sight of the packhouse, I walked over to the large tree in the forest I'd found when I first got here. It had a nice solid branch to sit on and you could see the river and both packhouses from here.
I took a deep breath to steady myself. I let my thoughts run free now that there was no one around me but the moon and the forest. It was stupid really. I knew deep down I had no reason to react this way. Since the first day I got here, I've felt nothing but love and acceptance from the pack even before I was mated to Elias. But it was one thing to feel it and it was another for them to essentially make it official. Gonzalo putting me on the Beta floor was as good as declaring me his family to the entire werewolf world. It wasn't just a joke or a figurative equivalent. It wasn't symbolic. I would be expected to get the same respect his family would have gotten.
I should feel happy, and I am. But hearing Helios saying it so nonchalantly, like it was the most natural thing in the world, and having no one say anything to the contrary...I couldn't help but contrast that to the way my parents reacted when I came out to them, and the way the vampire community reacted to me because of my vampire birth. It brought up a lot of unresolved feelings of how things should have gone.
I was only 20 at the time. I was living in my hometown near Montalto. I had known I was gay for a while but my boyfriend had begged me not to tell anyone. When he finally agreed to come out to our parents, I thought my life was finally ready to begin. The night I told my parents I was gay, my father had beaten me and thrown me out like a dog. Then I found out my boyfriend had chickened out so his parents wouldn't cut him off. He'd asked me to keep our relationship a secret for a while longer until he was ready, but I was done living a lie. I knew deep down he would never risk his inheritance. I left town that same night, heartbroken and without a clue of how I would survive. I had nothing. I hitchhiked to Salerno and was dropped off in front of that dingy bar. I don't know if it was fate or the man just instinctively knew that I needed to be somewhere where I would be accepted or just serendipity. I walked in, determined to be somewhere where I wasn't forced to pretend I was anything but who I was. The man looked at me like I was insane when I let him know right off the bat that I was gay and said he didn't give two shits if I was top or bottom, as long as I kept his establishment running smoothly before he threw me a rag and asked me to clear off the empty tables before someone complained. I loved Kassie from the moment she came into the bar. She was tall, delicate, and pale. She had been wearing red lipstick that rare first time I met her. Everything about her screamed fairy tale. Lips red as a rose, hair black as ebony, skin white as snow. My Snow White. She looked so sad and was still so kind to me. Humoring my incessant requests for conversation. When she finally told me her story, I was at first reminded of the story of Adam and Eve. She had eaten from the forbidden fruit. Yet even before I knew what she was, I knew she wasn't Eve. Eve was tricked into eating the forbidden apple. My Snow White had and still loved her mystery man with a fierceness that I admired. Even if at the time she only gave me minimal details. I could see that her love for him was still as alive as it had been then. She wouldn't tell me much of herself, but she would talk about books and random things to do around the city. I told her how accepted I felt to be working in this place. She laughed when I mentioned that people seemed to be coming in from all walks of life. It was like a fairy tale to be in a place that didn't care who you were or where you came from. The joke was on me when I tried to stop those drunk assholes from fighting. I remember clearly those hands turning into claws and digging into me, taking me from my mundane world and opening my eyes to the fairy tale world hiding in plain sight.
When Kassie turned me, I was happy for a little while. I thought, maybe I would finally belong. Until it was time to go before Queen Karissa and King Armand, and then it was my parents all over again. King Armand was pushing for destroying me like I was a rabid dog that needed to be put down. Thank the goddess for Kassie. She saved me yet again, despite the punishment they gave her for it. We've been inseparable since, other than the few missions I wasn't allowed to accompany her. But sometimes it was lonely. They wouldn't even let me go into the Estate and they wouldn't let her leave it very often, so I hated being "home."
How is it that strangers of a different species have shown more compassion and love than the people that were supposed to accept you? I've joked so many times about having a mom and dad, but a part of me was aware that I was only outwardly jesting. Inside, I was always screaming it. I longed to have a family that accepted me since before I was a vampire. I had thought Elias was the answer to that longing, but in that room a while ago, I realized it stretched farther than just him. I wanted a family.
I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn't hear anyone approaching until I heard him cursing. "Damn it, Adrien, how the f**k did you get up there? I'm too big to climb," Gonzalo said as I heard a branch creaking. I looked down to find him standing wobbly on two branches a few feet down, holding onto the trunk of the tree like his life depended on it, an annoyed look on his face. I chuckled through my tears. Of course, he would be the one to come for me. I pointed to the right branches to use and soon enough he was sitting next to me. "Wow, this is a nice view," he said. We sat there in comfortable silence for a while looking out at the river before I felt his shoulder push into mine the way he does when I get lost in my thoughts. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. I couldn't stop the tears from spilling at his words. I shook my head and avoided looking at him. He sighed and we went back into silence. "Do you not want to be on the Beta floor? I can have Helios put you somewhere else. All the windows got the same treatment."
I choked out a sob. He thought I didn't want to be there? "You're an i***t," I told him.
"So you're OK? With, with staying on my floor? Me...claiming you as family?" He asked nervously. I laughed and wiped the snot from my nose and nodded. "Well thank goddess. I wasn't going to be the one breaking it to Kassie that I was rejected by her son and Dario and I already claimed you long ago. You would have broken a lot of hearts if you didn't want to be my son." He huffed out with a relieved chuckle. "Come on, help me down this thing. You're still technically grounded for encouraging Kassie to 'give me hell," He said in quotation marks, "and your mate is a little worried that you ran off." Right, I sort of left him there puzzled.
"Goddess, you know quotations aren't cool anymore right?" I winced as I hit the ground and we headed back towards the packhouse.
"Yeah well, I'm an old man. f**k off." He said in mock anger.
Elias and Kassie were waiting for us at the back door. I sighed. Maybe he would just let it go. Knowing him, though, he wouldn't sleep until I told him what happened. Sometimes I think the moon goddess gave me Elias because he is the only one that can see through my mask on the days when I have to force it. He listens and understands without judgment. He puts up with my crazy antics and no matter how much I embarrass him, he accepts me and thinks I make his life better. I'm not sure how, but I'll go with it. I still wonder sometimes if he'd change his mind, but he marked me within days and I haven't felt him regret it once. All I feel is his love and happiness through our bond.
We went up to our floor together and split up when we got there. Elias seemed to know where we were staying, so I figured they'd already discussed it. I thought he would ask me to talk to him the moment the door shut behind us, but instead, he led me to the bathroom, where he began filling the bath with water and all manner of oils. He pushed me back onto the sink and kissed me. I moaned into his kiss. f**k he was so hot when he took control. He took advantage of my moan to plunge his tongue into my mouth, tasting me.
When he finally pulled away, he put his forehead to mine. "I can't stand to feel your heartache." He told me as he brushed his lips against mine before he started undressing me. This was one of his favorite things to do at the end of the day and it always made my stomach flip when he did. Today was no exception as he kissed his mark while his fingers expertly undid the buttons on my shirt. He pushes it off my shoulders then his hands go to my belt. I could feel myself straining in my boxers as he dropped to his knees. He pulled my shoes off and removed my socks before he went back to the pants. He palmed my c**k through the pants and looked up. It was such a powerful feeling to see such a strong and serious man look at me like I owned his world. He pulled my pants down and released my erection. Grabbing it in his hand and giving it a gentle rub. I let my head fall back with a moan as he put the tip of my c**k in his mouth. It was still something I wasn't used to, feeling how sucking my c**k made him feel through the bond as it coupled with my own pleasure. Elevating it into a loop of insurmountable pleasure. Knowing that this wasn't a task for him but that it provided him with as much pleasure as he was giving me.
I felt my c**k hit the back of his throat but he didn't stop. He relaxed it and took more of me in and I almost lost it at the feel of his tight throat enveloping the head. "Ti senti fottutamente bene(You feel so f*****g good)" I said as I defaulted to Italian as I start feeling my balls tense. He chuckles and I can feel the vibrations of his chuckle through my body. "Amore, stop. I'm going to c*m," I groan but he just keeps going as he pulls on my balls and I explode into his throat as he continues to suck my member, swallowing every drop of my release without trouble.
Once I'm done, he stands and kisses me deeply. I grab my hand and rub it on the giant bulge in his pants but he removes it as he pulls back. "No. Tonight was about you. Let's take a bath." I pout but he just laughs "You can have your way with me after we rest. You've had a long day." He said as he removes his clothing before going towards the bath. This man is so hot, I think as I spank his hard bubble a*s as he passes by me. That double dimpled a*s does something to me. I sit between his legs as we relax in the bath and I realize how much my life has changed in the last few months. Would I have been happy if my parents had accepted me? Would I have been happy living a mediocre life in the middle of nowhere unaware that there was so much more to life than what I knew then? Suddenly, I felt as my heart let go of the pain of that night as I understood one thing. It happened as it should have. My parents and I's relationship had been strained even before that. I was never meant to be their child. I was meant to leave that night. The moon goddess had said so. I was meant to be Kassie's child. I was meant to be Gonzalo's family. This was always meant to be my home.
I turned around in the tub and looked at Elias, who was surprised at the sudden change in my mood for a hot minute before I crushed his mouth and crushed his body between the tub and mine. I moaned as I felt the sparks travel around my torso and down to my a*s as he crushed me further into his body as he responded to the kiss. We pulled apart when he needed to breathe and he searched my eyes for an explanation. "What's going on in your head, amor. Do you need to talk?" He asked but didn't pull me away. I could feel his erection brushing against mine as our chests heaved.
"No. I don't need to talk. Everything is clear to me now. This is where I've always belonged. So, just love me my Aztec Jaguar. Show me who I belong to." I brushed my lips against his and whispered again, "Just love me, Elias"
"Siempre(always)" he said as he put his hand on the back of my neck and dominated my mouth with his tongue. He groaned as I started grinding on him and I felt as he slowly inserted a finger into my backside. I moaned louder, letting him know how much I was enjoying the intrusion. I wanted him in me. I needed to feel as he pushed into me with his girth. We had s*x so often that it didn't take much for me to be ready for him and soon, I was lifting upwards and sinking onto his c**k and we both moaned at the feeling of becoming one. His hands gripped my a*s as he helped me bounce at a pleasurable rhythm as he left hickey after hickey on my chest. When his mouth closed on my n****e, I arched back as I hissed in pleasure. I pulled back up as I started feeling the tightening of my balls.
My eyes landed on his and as always I was disarmed by the lust, love, and complete trust visibly present in them. He moved his head to the left, showing me his neck and where my Beloved mark was still gleaming proudly back at me. "Adrien," He asked quietly and I couldn't deny him. I let my nail extend and I drew a thin line on his neck before I placed my lips and felt his blood burst into my mouth. I drew only enough to connect us at a higher level and felt his pleasure crest as real as if it were mine before he sunk his teeth into his mark on my neck as I felt him explode inside me. My own release burst forth with a shudder.
When I finally calmed down, I trailed a finger down his mark lightly, making him shudder. I smiled, "You really like it when I do a little sucky sucky." I teased, wagging my eyebrows at him.
He threw his head back and laughed, "Don't say it like that. I like when we can connect in every way."
I lifted myself from him as I also bent down to kiss him with a smile. "Me too."
We finished with a quick shower before we went to bed. My mind was at ease now. I had spent many nights wondering what would I be doing if I hadn't found him? Would I have managed my loneliness for much longer if I hadn't? I snuggle closer into Elias as I realize there's no point in wondering. I had found him and he accepted me and lit up my world in his love. Thank you, moon goddess, for saving me from the darkness, I prayed as I felt myself fall asleep.