Regrets!
ROBERT
Regret!
That word lingered in my mind, biting at me until I was too sick and tired to think of anything else.
It was eroding the edges of my sanity, making it difficult for me to breathe properly or think clearly. I felt a deep sadness as I watched Renee’s silhouette fade into the darkness.
That’s when I realized how much of a jerk I’d been.
She had vanished. My woman was gone, and the worst part was that I couldn’t chase after her like I used to.
Instead, I’d told one of the nearby security guards to follow her and ensure she got home safely. I would keep an eye out for her. After a while, perhaps days, I’d get through to her and…
‘And then what?’ My mind screamed at me. Despite my best efforts at being strong, tears prickled behind my eyelids.
Back in the hall, I’d seen the pain swimming in her eyes and the look of utter disbelief, fear, and disgust as she saw me for who I truly was.
She had every right to flee-to turn around and run away from me as fast as she could-because I’d betrayed her.
I’d become paralyzed, frozen in place. I’d let Amanda get away with her drama and lies.
Speaking of that bitch… Where the hell was she? I spun around, fists clenched.
With the cool night breeze whipping around me, a chill in the air made my bones shiver. I began walking back into the hall, rage fueling my steps.
Was she still here? Oh, the things I’d do-the things I would say to her. My gaze swept across the crowded room, but I didn’t find her anywhere.
She wasn’t amid the paparazzi or mingling with the socialites. She was nowhere in sight.
Even Dylan was gone, and it struck me.Têxt belongs to NôvelDrama.Org.
They’d left after causing havoc and wrecking my life like they always did.
This was a new low for them. I was furious. So enraged, and Lord knows if I got ahold of any of them-of Amanda especially, I would kill her.
I’d grab her by the throat and…
‘And what will you do?’ My subconscious chimed again, the voice in my head taunting. ‘You could have done much more earlier and stood up for the woman you claimed you loved. But what exactly did you do? Stand frozen, tongue-tied, and wait for security to arrive and do nothing. You could’ve refuted Amanda’s half-truths and even denied knowing her, but you didn’t. You let her words get to Renee, and now you’ll pay heavily for that. You just see.’
I shuddered at the memory. Why had I remained silent? What spirit possessed me?
‘Amanda’s evil spell, of course. That’s what got to you. Just like the last time you let her trample on you. Regardless of your resources or how powerful you claim to be, you allowed the media to get their piece for tonight. I can only imagine what the entertainment headline will read tomorrow. Poor Renee…’
“Fuck! I…” When I felt a cold hand on my shoulder, I began to curse, my jaw tightening.
I turned around and met the worried gaze of Mr. Ryan, the party’s host.
Mr. and Mrs. Charles, the couple from earlier, stood by his side, looking concerned.
“Good day, Mr. Clarke. I’m deeply sorry for what happened, and I apologize for the security team’s tardiness. I-” Mr. Ryan began, but I cut him off as he was about to finish.
“It’s fine, man.” I muttered, my raging temper calming as I smiled at them even though I was burning inside.
“Are you certain you’re-”
“Good day, Mr. Clarke. Is it true you brought your girlfriend to be publicly humiliated by your estranged wife and-”
I noticed a redhead woman shoving her camera and microphone in my face, and I lost it.
“Will you get the hell out of my face?” I instinctively growled as I raised my arms and blocked the camera.
“But-”
“Get the hell out!” I roared, fists flying, as I smashed the device instantly.
This seemed to do the trick because she instantly backed off, as well as the other reporters mulling around, and chaos erupted again.
Soon security arrived, and they began escorting me and Mr. Ryan, who remained by my side, out of the hall through the back exit.
With my vision slightly distorted and ignoring the gasps and murmurs that’d broken out, I continued to search for Amanda and Dylan, but I didn’t see them.
At the same time, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, signaling an incoming text.
I took it out and read the text with increasing trepidation.
It was from the security guard I’d sent after Renee some minutes ago, and the message read, ‘She arrived safely. Before leaving, I ensured she got to her room in the apartment building.’
“Any problems, Mr. Clarke?” As I stared at my phone, Mr. Ryan’s voice broke through.
“Not at all.”
“Alright. Once again, I’m truly sorry. I apologize for what happened today. I had no idea your ex-wife would be present. With the party not being strictly by invitation, you know… I would’ve told security to send her away, but…”
“It’s fine, man. It’s not your fault. I understand.” I spoke up, my jaw clenched.
“I had no idea tonight would turn out this way. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine, to be honest. I’ll take care of everything.”
“Alright. What about your lovely companion? Did she leave?”
“Yes. Yes, she fucking did.” I spat out, my face hardening and my chest twisted in pain.
“I’m sorry about that. I hope you’ll be able to resolve everything, though, and if you require my assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me.” Mr. Ryan concluded, his brow furrowed in sympathy.
“Thank you, man.” I mumbled, and after exchanging goodbyes, I watched him turn around and walk into the hall, leaving me alone.
I had no idea how long I stood there staring blankly into space, but then the familiar voice of my driver brought me out of my reverie, and I blinked twice.
“Sir!” He called out, waving his hands. “I’ve been looking for you all night.”
“Why?”
“I couldn’t find Miss Renee and-”
“She left.”
“Oh. Would you like to go home now?”
“Home?” I scoffed bitterly, confronted with the startling reality that the one place I called home-the one human who made me feel at home-no longer existed.
For some reason, the thought triggered another stab of pain in my chest, and I took a few moments to regain control.
“I’m not sure I want to go to the hotel right now…” I said after a while, my feet moving as I followed him to where the car was parked.
“Where should I take you then?” My driver asked, his hands reaching out to open the car door for me.
“Anywhere. Just drive around the city. I need time to think and clear my head.” I replied.
“Alright, Sir.” He said before shutting the door.
As soon as the car’s ignition started, silence filled the vehicle, and leaning against the plush leather seats, my mind raced with different thoughts as the night’s events repeatedly played in my head.
How ironic that Renee had been by my side, hours earlier. We would’ve been returning to the hotel relatively happy and in love after spending a wonderful time together. But now?
I’d messed up horribly, and she left me.
I’d lost her. This woman who’d walked into my life, and changed it for the better. The creature I’d fallen madly and irrevocably in love with. The soul that shared my heart and the bane of my existence, and yet, I’d let this happen.
She’d given me so much hope, and she’d trusted me.
However despite her pestering questions, I’d refused to provide her with the desired answers, and now she’d gotten them in the worst way possible.
With unshed tears still burning at the back of my eyes, I asked myself if I’d truly loved Renee. I thought I’d cared for her and done the right thing by keeping my secrets hidden, only for everything to be revealed in some dramatic showdown.
Had I truly loved her as much as I claimed? Or was she another conquest and fleeting wanderer in my lonely, pathetic life?
God, I was going crazy, and my thoughts were no longer mine.
My world had been transformed into this dark void of emptiness, and nothing would ever be the same again, no matter how hard I tried to return to reality.
Everything had crumbled because I’d been such a coward, refusing to protect the one most valuable thing in my life.
This agony-it was a horrifying sensation that gripped my heart so tightly. An ache I couldn’t quite understand and wouldnt be able to eliminate. At all.
Shutting down my thoughts for a split second, I glanced at my phone, fingers hovering over the dial button as I considered calling Renee for the umpteenth time tonight. But I backed out at the last minute.
Silly of me to think she’d even want to speak to me or pick up the call. She probably hated me with every fiber of her being now. For fuck’s sake, and I couldn’t blame her.
Because she was right.
I’d ruined our relationship the first time and done all I could to salvage it. We were getting by, and now I’d ruined it again.
However, this time, I realized that the damage was irreversible. I’d let the demons from my past control my actions and emotions, and I would pay dearly for it.
Oh, so dearly… and this was just the beginning!