Dirty Seduction

He shrugged, still calm. “I’ve been caught out already, for much greater crimes. My double life in Oxford would have caused me and everyone else considerably less hell if I’d have been transparent about it from the start, but I’m not putting that demand onto you. It’s up to you when and if you break the news about Jenny, but I’ll be right here alongside you, if you want that. I’m not running away again.”

I could have cried with relief.

“Really? You won’t leave? Not even if the whole estate finds out?”

“I won’t leave you,” he said. “But you’re the one whose relationships are at stake here. I’ve walked through my own fire before. This is about yours. If you want to play it down and write Jenny off as nothing, I understand.”

I had to laugh. “That’s the opposite of what I want.”

His expression was still serious. “You’re sure about that? You’d really like to be hand in hand with the seedy sicko from apartment six? Walking through this shithole estate with everyone jeering?”

His words took me aback. That wasn’t how I saw it. Julian wasn’t a seedy sicko from apartment six, he was the man I’d fallen in love with, who loved me in return.

“I’m pointing out the truth,” he continued. “That’s what it will be like. You’ll be a public spectacle with everyone in your life casting judgement. They’ll be maintaining that I’m a pervert, especially if they see me with you. It won’t be pleasant.”

For once in my life, I was glad I didn’t have many people I gave a shit about.This belongs © NôvelDra/ma.Org.

“I don’t care.”

His hands squeezed my shoulders. “I think you might do, when it comes to it.”

“No, I won’t,” I said. “People have been bitching at me since I was a kid. Idiots can say what they like, and I won’t give a shit. You’re not a seedy sicko.” I paused. “The only person’s opinion I really give a toss about is

Mum.”

Julian’s eyes were so caring as he looked down at me.

“She’d better be the one you tell first then, hadn’t she?”

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Chapter Twenty

JULIAN

ONE MORE NIGHT THAT’S WHAT ROSIE DECIDED ON. OUR FINAL NIGHT OF cocooning before we braced ourselves and stepped into the obvious condemnation awaiting outside.

I wanted to make it a night to remember.

She was showering when I poked my head into the bathroom to let her know that I was heading into town. She was grinning as she pulled the shower curtain to the side.

“Really? You sure? Aren’t you coming in here with me?”

Her smile was infectious. She was turning into more of a cute little vixen every day.

The very sight of her there under the cascade was more than enough fuel to break my determination. But no. I had plans that needed fulfilling.

“I need cigarettes,” I said, and I wasn’t lying. I usually kept a decent supply, but I was practically down to the last one.

“Cool,” she said. “See you in a bit, then.”

“Do you want anything?”

“Nope. I’m all good.” Her eyes were so beautiful. “I just want you.”

“Touche.”

I turned away before my instincts took full hold, and I forced myself out of there.

It felt bizarrely surreal to step foot onto the street again, into the light of day outside. It was as though we’d been holed up for months in my apartment, not just days. It struck me then, as I walked, just how unpredictable our life was going to be from now on. The very second the news of our secret love affair exploded, it would be us against the world. I only hoped Rosie would be able to cope.

I was relatively comfortable for my own part as to the blow up of judgements that lay ahead. There would be no jeers or hateful names that could ever kick me in the guts as hard as my own family’s had, but Rosie would be new to the playing field. I was the one who’d been doing the misdeed in the situation, not her, but unfortunately it would be her who’d have to face the full extent of the consequences. Particularly the ones with her mother. The question would be whether Rosie would be able to leave Beverly behind if it became an ultimatum. Beverly was her flesh and blood. It had almost killed me to leave mine.

I pushed that thought to the side as best I could.

I’d already looked up the highest regarded butchers in Worcester. They were in Lowesmoor, with hundreds of glowing reviews online. I chose their finest beef fillet, and I followed that up with a trip to an excellent vegetable stall in the market hall for asparagus, green beans and parsnips. Maris piper potatoes for dauphinoise, and pastry supplies and creme fraiche from one of the boutique kitchen houses, along with a few tubs of local thick cream, coffee, and a delicious looking chocolate fudge cake. I chose champagne and some fine ales from an upmarket off license, along with a summer fruit gin I knew Rosie would love. Then finally, with a smile on my face, I came to one of the key destinations on my mission. A deluxe florist on the way to Foregate Street.

One bouquet stood out for me more than any other. Purity personified, with the most beautiful flash of colour. Traditional, and stunning. Red roses and glorious white lilies.

The woman behind the counter gave me a coy smile as I handed them over for wrapping.

“Someone’s going to be a very lucky lady later.”

I wondered who the florist was picturing in her head when she looked at me. Someone like Katreya, most likely, someone my own age. Maybe a demure woman in her thirties.

If only she could see Rosie. An eighteen-year-old girl whose virginity I’d claimed, whose ass I’d destroyed, whose perfect skin I’d been scribbling filth over for days.

The girl I loved.

She may not be grinning so brightly if she could do.

I took a cab on the way back to the estate, putting the driver on hold in the supermarket car park en route. Time for some essentials. My stack of cigarettes was only the beginning of the store errand. I restocked on everything from tissues to toilet rolls, to sanitary towels for Rosie, and some of her favourite coconut shampoo and conditioner. I grabbed more muesli and fresh milk, and kitchen wipes, and it felt refreshing to be acting like a partner again, not a loser living in a cesspit, alone. I even got some new body wash for my angel, a sweet looking bubble-gum scented one with a unicorn on the bottle. What a novelty. I knew it would make Rosie laugh.

I had my supermarket haul all lined up on the conveyor belt when it became obvious that fate was intent on being an all-out cunt today. I took a look back to find Trisha was behind me in the queue, scoping out my shopping with raised eyebrows. I hoped she would keep her mouth shut and mind her own business, but she didn’t. She looked almost smug.

“Wouldn’t have thought you’d like bubble-gum body wash, Julian.”

I despised how she felt comfortable using my name so casually, despite the fact we’d never been formally introduced.

“You may be surprised by my tastes, Trisha,” I said. “I don’t think we’ve met yet, have we?”

Her eyes were on the sanitary towels as the cashier rang them through. Her brain was clearly ticking as her eyes clamped back on mine. She ignored my question.

“Haven’t seen you around for a while. Have you been away?”

I knew what she was digging at. Her stare said it all.