Dirty Seduction

My cheeks must have been blotchy from tears when he let me in and through to the living room. I sat down on his sofa and tossed my bag onto the floor, crumpling over with my elbows on my knees as I tried to compose myself. He was right there beside me, kneeling on the floor, but he didn’t put his hands on me, just waited.

“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I just… I couldn’t stay there…”

“What happened? Did he hurt you?”

The tears kept coming, silent as I struggled for breath.

“He, um… no. He didn’t hit me or anything… he just…”

“Did he hurt your mother?”

“No. She’s still loved up, and she doesn’t know.” “Doesn’t know what? What did he do to you, Rosie?”

Time for honesty. I caught my breath before I spoke.

“I threatened him. I told him that next time I’d go to the police, no matter what, and I’d catch him on camera, and I’d tell them, and I wouldn’t let it go.”

“Good. And then what happened?”

“I called him weak, and then I went to bed. I thought that was it. I put my earbuds in, so I couldn’t hear them, and I went to sleep, but then…” I struggled to speak. “He came in, in the dark. He pinned me down and told me that he’d make me pay if I did anything like that. He said he’d fuck us both up, me and Mum, and he means it. I know he means it. But I don’t know what to do.”

With that, it all collapsed and the sobs came. I always tried to stay strong, always, but I couldn’t hold it back. Years of fear and hurt spilled over and caught me in its grip, but so did Julian. He sat next to me on the sofa and he pulled me into his arms and held me tight.

He didn’t rush me, or try to get me to speak some more, just rocked me gently, cradling my head against his chest, and it felt like everything I’d never had. Comfort. Strength. Care.

“It’s ok,” he told me, and for once I believed it. “I’m going to make sure it’s ok. You’re safe now.”

I kept crying, letting it flow free, and it was beautiful to let the fear loose, without a mask disguising it. Scottie was too dangerous for me to handle. I’d tried a thousand times and tried with Mum too, but I couldn’t make it work. I couldn’t.

I pulled away when I had enough composure to get some words out.

“Are you going to call the police? He’ll deny it.”

Julian shook his head, his hands on mine, squeezing.

“You don’t need to worry about what I’m going to do, Rosie. Just trust me. I’m going to make sure it’s ok.”

I nodded, managing a smile.

“Thank you.”

It was when I leaned back on the sofa that I realized there were cushions behind me. I shifted so I could see them. Their beige and gold brocade brought out the tone of the tattered leather.

“Let me go and get you a drink,” Julian said and got to his feet. “What would you like? Tea? Coffee? Orange juice? I have some cordials, too.”

It seems a lovely set of cushions wasn’t the only thing he’d bought today.

“Orange juice would be great, please.”

I took another look at the cushions when he disappeared into the kitchen. They were gorgeous. He had a new lamp too, standing tall in the corner. Its brass frame was elegant, and the shade was rich and red.

“Here you go,” he said as he returned with my drink.

The juice was lovely. One of the ones with juicy bits in. I smiled after I’d taken a decent swig.

“Seriously, Julian. I’m sorry I came up here. This isn’t your problem.”

“On the contrary,” he told me. “I’m very glad you did. This is very much my problem now, and I assure you I’m going to remedy it.”

He sounded so strong.

He smiled as he looked down at my PJs. I was in fluffy socks with no shoes.

“At least you’re ready for bed.”

“I don’t think I’m going to be getting any sleep, somehow.”

“I think you should try anyway,” he told me. “Some rest will do you good. You can sleep soundly here.”

We sat in the most comfortable silence I’d ever known. I didn’t feel panic or despair. I felt exposed in my utter rawness, and there was a sense of relief in it that defied all logic. All fear.Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.

“It’s going to be ok,” Julian told me again, and I believed him.

It was heaven.

He got up and held out a hand. I got a buzz, almost like static as I took hold of it. He led me through to his bedroom and I almost gasped out loud at the sight before me.

He had new bedding, pristine white cotton like the kind in hotels. He had new pillows, too. Four of them looked big and fluffed up.

He folded back the sheets for me.

“Please, try to sleep, Rosie. Nothing can hurt you here.”

I guess the collapse of emotions had taken it out of me because my body defied the whirr of my brain. I was exhausted. It felt so natural to do what he instructed. He smiled down at me as I slipped under the bedcovers, but then he retreated to the doorway.

“Sleep in as long as you want. I know you don’t have work until the evening.” His eyes were so warm. “Sleep all afternoon if you want to. I’ll be out here whenever you need me.”

“Thanks,” I said again, for the thousandth time.

“You can thank me by resting up,” he replied. “You need it.”

I needed him, too.

My soul screamed as he flicked off the light and closed the door behind him because I was desperate. I wanted more than anything for him to stay, and slide into bed with me and hold me tight. I wanted to feel him pressed against me. I wanted to hold him back.

I wanted to kiss him. And touch him. And feel his hands on me in return.

But that wasn’t going to happen not even if I was damp, in one of his shirts, with my nipples on display.

So, I’d have to make do in his bed without him.

Sleep was easier than I expected on such comfortable pillows. I was already drifting off as I rolled onto my side.