HIS SWEET REVENGE

Bryan’s POV

Work was more than I expected it to be today. The deal with the Chinese investors has been successfully signed and I feel proud of myself more than anything else. I am going to own a factory soon.

But I couldn’t let myself sink and bask in the overwhelming feeling of my achievement today because of my guilt. I left work with a mixed feeling; I want to be happy about today’s achievement and at the same time, I want to wallow in self-pity for betraying Helena.

I wish she was alive to hear me out and find out the truth by herself. I wish I told her this myself. I wish I can explain what happened and what led to my unfaithfulness but she is gone, I can’t explain anything to her.

She will neither hear nor see me suffering. No matter how hard I am on myself and others for betraying her, nothing can be done about it. The deed has been done.

I exhale deeply as I take the staircase to my bedroom. I had refused Landon the opportunity to take my briefcase from me because I want to be alone. I want to take a cold shower and go to bed to figure out what to do with this new revelation and my next line of action.

Suddenly, I feel bad for yelling at Camilla for not telling me since it happened. Now I realize I have no cause to be mad at her. I should be mad at Emily. She is the bitch that caused it all. She was the one who caused this and used me to her advantage.

Camilla isn’t to be blamed, she is not in the right position to tell me since Helena didn’t confront me with it too.

Pushing away the thought of apologizing to Camilla, I move swiftly into my room. I have never apologized to any of my employees before and I don’t intend to start now. I haven’t seen Camilla since last night when I asked her out of my room. I just hope she is fine.

I stroll into the room, pulling off my suit after letting go of my tie. I am exhausted after a long day at work and I wish to go to bed right away. I walk to the bed and flop on it.

I facepalm myself and sigh heavily, the earlier thought of Helena, Emily, and Camilla creeping into my head again. I was glad to be able to wave the thought away the moment I got to work but now that I am home, it is all back again.

I drop my hands and look around my room which suddenly feels too small until my gaze lands on the sheet of paper on my nightstand. There is a pen on the paper and it looks like someone purposely left a letter for me.

Without thinking about who it is, I grab it and the handwriting catches my attention at first before I can read the first statement.

Do not regret anything in life, it reads.

Really? I say inwardly, wondering who left this here. I am curious to read till the end so I couldn’t give it much thought.

I stare back at the paper and start all over again.

Do not regret anything in life.

Because everything happens for a reason.

There is always a reason for you to smile.

But you have to let go, push away, and wave off the bad thoughts of the past. You need to keep the past where it belongs and focus on the future.

You are stronger than you think you are and you will pull through.

You are kinder than what people think of you.

You are nicer than what we see of you.Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

You are cold but warm-hearted.

This is what life has turned you into and it is left to you to make the best out of life and out of yourself.

Be happy, remember nothing but only the good old memories that can bring smiles of satisfaction to your face.

Adore those moments and cherish them forever. Blame yourself less for whatever mistake you have done wrong as a person.

Always remember that mistakes are not signs of incompatibility, rather they make us humans.

Cherish the sweet memories over the bad ones till the bad memories fade away slowly because it has been overpowered by a stronger force of happiness.

Do not blame yourself for anything, remember everything happens for a reason.

Do not allow yourself to wallow in self-pity, remember what a strong pillar you are for those who care about you.

Do not let past mistakes ruin the beauty of life, remember you are human.

Do not let the shadow of the past block the sweetness and rays of sunlight of the future. You have to take the good with the bad, love what you have got, always forgive and try to forget but never REGRET.

Lastly, do not forget to be happy and strong as a mountain.

I finish reading it out loud and raise my head in amazement with a pounding heart.

Who did this? Why is this person saying all of these to me as though he or she can see through me?

As I read each sentence, I am giving meaning to it and trying to relate it to my present situation.

Can I be strong enough to let go? Will Helena forgive me? These are the questions I keep asking myself and this is my fear.

I remember what the therapist said to be the last time I went there five years ago. It was after I stopped going to visit that I decided to get married.

My therapist was a middle-aged woman and she was understanding and patient with me. I can still clearly remember the last statement she said to me before I left her office.

“There are different types of traumatic patients. Some traumatic experiences are easy to let go of while others aren’t easy to let go of. Some patients are strong enough to recover from the agony that comes with the experience while others aren’t strong to do that. Bryan, you have to choose what type of person you are and the type of person you want to become. This is your life, live it the way you want. Choose to recover or choose to get stuck in the same hole.”

This paper in my hand is bringing back all these motivating words that pulled me through my terrible nightmares and hardship coping with Helena’s death.

The therapy was helpful, I was able to put it all behind me, thinking of my mistake once in a while and feeling the guilt.

But now that it is back, I realize I am giving it a chance again.

A chance to deal with me.

To live with me.

To get stuck to my skin like a disease.

I am stronger than this, right? I can let go if I want to, no matter how hard it is.

Moving on from the past won’t make me a bad person, will it? Helena will forgive me, won’t she? Can she even see me and what I am going through?

Can she even feel the torture I am letting myself go through just to let her know how remorseful I am?

I shake my head and gaze at the paper again. Reading through it once more, I need no soothsayer to tell me who is behind it. I know it is Celine and no one else.

Even though her words are soothing, I feel pissed that she came into my room to drop this. I am pissed that she is beginning to feel favored again because of how nicely I acted to her yesterday when I was sick. I don’t want to break the wall of enmity between us. I want it to grow stronger but she wants to break it down.

“Always forgive and try to forget”, I say out aloud.

Is she trying to talk about us? Is she indirectly telling me to forgive her mistakes and try to forget them?

“But never regret”, I finalize. Is she talking about my pain? I shouldn’t regret what I did with Emily?

That is one thing I can never be proud of. This is something I can’t stop regretting and I will continue to regret it for the rest of my life.

Do not let past mistakes ruin the beauty of life, remember you are human.

Is she talking about me or herself? Celine is always making one mistake or the other. She doesn’t know when it is right for her to do something.

I know I am imperfect and I have made mistakes too. One of these mistakes is the sex with Emily.

These are the mistakes I regret the most and I would have loved to turn back the hands of the clock just for it never to happen. I shouldn’t have fallen victim to her emotional blackmail but I was too weak, too sympathetic to see beyond her sadness.

I fell into her trap, adding to my inability to move on with my life from the past. If I can eliminate the memory of my affair with Emily, I doubt if there is anything more to regret.

I remember Celine and I realize I don’t regret the moment with her. She was helpful by making me look responsible to the public, even though they never knew who she was.

The only thing she did wrong to me was letting the sex between us happen even though I initiated it and running away with my seed inside of her.

I know she is behind this letter. No one else in this house is capable of doing this except her. Thinking about my punishment for her, I stand up straight and pull out my phone from my trouser pocket.

I scan through the contacts on my phone to search for her number. I don’t want to call Camilla because I am still mad at her and I am not ready to talk to her yet. I am left with no choice but to call Celine directly on the phone.

I saved the number she used to call me the other day when Jason was with me and she hadn’t started working here. I saved it up immediately she agreed to become his nanny, just to save myself from any stress when an emergency comes up and to save myself from embarrassing myself by demanding for her number.

I dial the number and it rings for a while before she picks it up with a sleepy voice that stirs something up in me. It suddenly reminds me of Helena’s sweet voice. I love hearing her voice whenever she wakes up in the morning.

“Hello”, she says again, more loudly. I am sure she doesn’t know it is me. It is either she no longer has my number or it is because she is sleepy and she didn’t check the name of the caller. I wonder what she saved my number with.

“Celine”, I call her name with a tone of authority. I don’t need to introduce myself, my voice will do the introduction.

“Bryan… boss?” She stammers.

“I want to see you in my room now!” I order. “Come up!”

Without waiting for a reply, I disconnect the call, drag the drawer out to dump the paper there, and sit back on the bed to wait for her to come up.

I know the next line of punishment to give to her, I smirk proudly.