CHAPTER 90
Bryan’s POV
The moment I got inside the room after taking a bath, I picked up my phone to call Celine, scared that she would be asleep already.
I came back from work very late today because I spent my whole morning thinking about the sex we had. I was distracted all through until it was time for my first appointment and I realized I didn’t make preparations for that.
Trying so hard not to think much about it, I got to work after my first appointment and I didn’t finish up on time until the next appointment and the third. I wished to come home early today but I couldn’t because I don’t intend to go to work early tomorrow.
I won’t be able to sleep. I am sure of that. But if she is here and she falls asleep, maybe sleep will elude me too.
“Hello, Bryan”, she whispers and I feel my bulge getting hard at the voice.
“Are you asleep?” I ask her, praying she isn’t.
“No, I am not.”
“What are you doing?” I scratch my head, nervous about asking her to come over. I don’t know if she is ok with leaving Jason to himself again tonight. I really enjoyed her company last night and I think it is the solution to my problems.
“I’m reading a book”, she replies but I have a feeling she is purposely waiting for me to arrive before going to bed. “Are you back?” She asks when I am not saying anything.
“Yes, can you come over?” I question quickly and she falls silent. “You can come with my dinner. Camilla already served it. It’s on the dining table.” I say it as an excuse to want to see her.
“Ok. Give me a minute”, she whispers again and my heart swells with joy. I disconnect the call and sit on the bed.
A few minutes later, while I am going through my mail, a knock comes on the door and I know she is the one.
Without looking up, I grant her permission to enter and she does with a tray of food. I look up as I climb down from the bed, flashing her a smile.
She smiles back shyly, her head down as she approaches. I meet up with her and take the tray from her.
“How are you?” I ask and her mouth drops open in surprise. I raise a questioning brow at her before she closes her mouth.
“What’s wrong?”
She shrugs indifferently. “I’m surprised you are asking me that.”
“What?”
“How I am”, she responds, folds her arms across her bosom, and snickers in laughter. I drop the tray of food and sit back on the bed with an embarrassed look on my face. I don’t have an appetite. Seeing her is enough.
“You should eat”, she points to the food. “Maybe I will come back when you are done.”
“No, I don’t feel like it”, I stop her from going.
“Why did you ask me to bring you dinner, then?” She frowns her face.
“Because I was looking for an excuse to have you here”, I say unashamedly. She looks shocked for a while before she begins to laugh and I join her. I don’t know why her laughter sounds like music to my ears and why it is inviting.
I rise from the bed and engulf her in a hug.
We stand this way for a while till she pulls away. “Let me feed you, then.”
I nod and walk back to bed. Slouching in amongst the comforter, I spread my legs out. She grabs the tray and sits in the space beside me before opening the food. It is pastalaya and fruit juice. She begins to feed me while I feed myself with her beauty.Content rights belong to NôvelDrama.Org.
The beauty I never really got to see until now. Her smiles are making the insides of my heart flip over each other in excitement.
I don’t really know if I am feeling this way for Celine because of her kindness and selflessness or if it is something else.
After a few more spooning, I tell her I am ok and she packs up.
“Let’s sleep”, I invite her to the bed after drowning in the last content of the fruit juice, tapping on the space beside me.
She hesitates as she drops the food tray again. “Don’t worry about Jason. He will be fine.”
She gulps and nods before sliding in beside me. We cuddle for a while before I peck her forehead, the memories of what happened this morning rushing into my membrane.
“Bryan?” She calls me softly and I perk up to stare at her curious face. A smile teases her lips but it doesn’t hide the pain I can see lurking in the corners of her eyes.
“Why did you treat me that way?” She finally questions, tears pooling in her eyes. “I have been trying to think about this all morning. Why you were harsh to me like…” she pauses as I continue to watch her.
She tries to talk again but she stops.
I sigh and sit upright. “I made a vow to Helena.”
Silence ensues.
She must be wondering what this has got to do with Helena. This has everything to do with her.
“A vow?”
“Yes. When she died, I vowed never to have anything to do with any woman again…”
“Because you felt responsible for her death?” She interrupts me, my gaze shifting to her and a smile touching my lips at her smartness.
“Yes. Not only that but I also betrayed her with Emily. I cheated on her”, the smile on my face disappears as a sense of remorse descends on me once again.
She gasps loudly, her eyes widening. “You cheated with Emily?”
“Yes, I did. Mother wanted me to marry Emily. She preferred Emily to the quiet Helena who wasn’t the socialist she expected her son would bring home for a wife. Apart from my past lifestyle, cheating on her was the next thing I regretted but it wasn’t intentional. Emily was ready to let me go only if I would sleep with her. I agreed because I couldn’t imagine my life with Helena. She was my everything and my mother was bent on not letting us be together. I slept with Emily and she used that to threaten me. Just a few months ago, I found out that Emily had told Helena about our escapades and Helena never confronted me.”
Tears spring to my eyes but I am refraining from losing control. “She knew all along. I thought I deceived her but she knew. I was the fool.”
Celine’s hand touches mine and I dart my face to her. “I didn’t want to cheat but I had no choice, believe me, Celine.”
She nods in understanding and cups my face between her palms, a look of sympathy on her face.
I look away abruptly, letting her hands drop from my face. “When I found out you and I had sex, I was furious. I was mad at myself for letting it happen and pissed with you for not stopping it from happening. I felt I had betrayed her once again just like I did years ago and I thought she would never forgive me. I felt responsible for her death and I thought abstaining was the right thing to do to seek her forgiveness.”
“I didn’t know her but from what I have heard, I know she is a good woman”, Celine remarks, making me smile at the compliment.
“Yes, she was a good woman, just like you”, I peck her forehead and lean backward. “You two share a lot in common.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
Silence creeps in.
I am thinking about the similarities between them; the laughter, the selflessness, the simple and quiet antisocial life.
I snap my head to the other side to see Celine watching me. She squeezes my hand and this is when I realize her hands are on mine.
“Let’s sleep”, she says as she slides into the bed, dragging me with her. I sink deeper into the bed, dragging the comforter to my chin. I sleep on my right side so I can watch her face till I fall asleep.
Everything happening between Celine and me feels like a dream. I have always had the conviction that happiness isn’t meant for me. But now what I feel is beyond happiness and I am questioning this feeling.
It isn’t surreal.
It is like a dream that I would wake up from any moment from now but I hope not to wake up from this sweet dream if indeed it isn’t real.
“Sleep”, she cups my face and leans in to peck my brows, my two eyes, the tip of my nose, and finally on my lips. Her lips are on my lips for a while before she pulls away.
She shifts to find a suitable posture as she flashes me one last smile before she closes her eyes for sleep to take her to the dreamland.