Holding on to you

Mik’s P. O. V

Something is bothering Jessica, I see it in the way she looks at me, with guilt and remorse. What the hell does she have to feel guilty and remorseful for?

Grabbing my shirt that was lying on the floor, I shrugged it over my head then grabbed my boots to put it on. I sat on the end of the bed softly, hoping not to wake her from her slumber, but from the shift of the mattress, I knew that I failed.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

“You’re leaving?”

I heard the slight panic in her voice, but I brushed it off and nodded my head. We were at her parents’ house and they weren’t too keen on waking up to finding a guy in bed with their daughter. The first time they found us together didn’t turn out quite well.

Although, they knew that she had a guy in her room and didn’t seem to have a problem with it at first, but that was on till they met me. Her dad tried to tell me that it was inappropriate for a twenty-three-year-old to be having sex with his seventeen-year-old daughter.

I might have been rude, but I remembered telling him that the last person that told me what I could and couldn’t do ended up with a bullet in his brain.

“Yeah, I don’t want to upset your parents any more than I have already. I know they already know that I’m here, but I’m guessing that they don’t want to see me.”

She sat up on the bed, and I watched as the sheet fell away from her, leaving her naked body exposed. I smiled to myself when it comes to nudity she has no shame. She’s often told me on many occasions that there’s nothing wrong with her body and she saw no reason to be shy in front of me.

That one of the things I love about her, she’s so direct and funny as hell, being with her is one of the best experience I’ve had. I’m absolutely in love with her and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

“Please don’t go.”

She crawled across the bed until she was on my lap, straddling me. looping her arms around my neck, she looked at me with those seductive eyes of hers and I couldn’t help but be drawn in.

I grabbed her hips and pulled her closer, then run my hands up her bare back, which caused her to wiggle on my lap.

“Jessica, if I stay we won’t leave this bedroom until afternoon and your parents will have one more reason to hate me.”

Her hands were in my hair and her hot lips were on my neck. I knew what she was trying to do, and I must say that it was definitely working. She used her body weight to push us back onto the bed, I tried to protest but it was no used, I was a goner.

I decided that since she wasn’t going to let me leave, I’d show her what the consequences of her actions were. Flipping us both until I was on top of her, I pulled back from her lips only long enough to pull my shirt over my shoulders. After that, it didn’t take long for the rest of my clothes to follow. I started reaching for the condoms that she usually keeps on her nightstand, but her touches were so aggressive and impatient, that by the time I remembered that I forget the condom it was already too late.

When we were both stated and breathing hard from our sexual workout, she closed her eyes and fell off into a deep sleep with a satisfied smile on her face. I on the other hand, just laid there looking at her, I didn’t think she even knew that we never used protection, and I didn’t see any reason to concern her by telling her.

However, the thought of getting her pregnant and having a baby with her did not freak me out as much as it should have. Instead, I found myself picturing her with a baby bump and us living in a house of our own raising three kids. The thought made me smile, and I realise at the moment that she was it for me, I fell so hard in love with her in the short time that I’ve known her, and it’s the happiest feeling I’ve ever experienced.

With a smile on my face, I pulled her close and let sleep take me. I don’t know how long we spent in bed sleeping but when I woke up she was no longer in bed with me. I decided that I’d take a shower before I leave, as much as I loved the scent of her, I didn’t want to go to work smelling like sex.

I didn’t like leaving her unprotected, but her parents weren’t too keen on all the time that she was spending at Lilly’s place. They were even less keen on the fact that Lilly was married, they thought that she was making a big mistake and at eighteen she was way too young to know what she wanted in life.

By the time I finished having my shower, Jessica was already back in the room with a tray filled with different breakfast items. I smiled at her when she picked up a steaming cup of black coffee and handed it to me.

“Great sex and great coffee, what more can a guy ask for?”

She rolled her eyes and giggled in that sweet way of hers and I couldn’t help but smile. At times, it was hard not to see how young she is, and I must say I do feel guilty for cradle robbing, but then she would turn those sexy eyes of hers on me, and all the guilt would just fall away like Kim Kardashian clothes at the sight of a camera.

I sat and ate as much as the food as possible and she just watched me with a smile on her beautiful face. I put the tray to the side when I was finished and she wasted no time hopping onto my lap.

“Let’s do something fun, just the two of us.” She played with the neck of my shirt.

“What do you have in mind?” I asked her as I twisted a lock of her hair around my finger.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe we could spend the day at your place then go to a club after.”

I eyed her suspiciously, something was up with her. firstly, she just got back to her parents’ house after spending a while with me, and she was avoiding making eye contact with me.

I decided to play along just to see where it was headed. “Jessica, you’re only seventeen, way too young to be in a club.”

She frowned and scrunched up her nose at me, “First things first, I’ll be eighteen in two weeks, and I have been to a club before.”

“Not on my watch you haven’t, and my idea of something fun with my girlfriend is not going to some sweaty club with loud music and drunk idiots who will be trying to grab your ass. What’s this really about, why do you suddenly want so bad to be out of your parents’ home?”

She shifted a little on my lap, but she still didn’t raise her eyes to meet mine. Something was definitely bothering her, and I intended to get to the bottom of it before I left for work.

“Answer me, Jessica!”

She flinched from the harshness in my voice, but this time, she did raise her eyes to meet mine, and there it was again that guilty look.

She opened her mouth to say something, but then a knock came on her bedroom door, causing her to become rigid on my lap. Her hands on my shirt were so tight and instead of answering, she just stared at the door in fear.

I didn’t know what in the hell spooked her, or who was behind that door that would cause her to act the way she was acting. However, I sure as hell was going to find out!

Gently, I pried her hands off of my shirt and lifted her off of my lap. The knock came again, but this time, it was a little more forceful. Irritated, I grabbed my gun that was on her nightstand and tucked it in the back of my jeans. Jessica saw what I was about to do and jumped from the bed to try and stop me, but I was already by the door, pulling it open.

A guy who looks to be around my age was standing on the other side, the smirk that was on his face fell away when he saw me and anger and contempt replaced it.

“Who the hell are you?” He asked, not bothering to conceal his anger at seeing me instead of Jessica.

I shifted my weight and leaned against the door, casually. “I was about to ask you the same f**king thing, only I was also going to ask, why the f**k are you knocking on Jessica’s bedroom door?”

I could see that the dude didn’t like my attitude, but I didn’t give a f**k, for some reason Jessica was terrified of the motherf**ker, and I wanted to know exactly why that was.

“I’m her brother’s friend.” That was the only answer the dude gave, like that should be reason enough.

“Good for you, but how the hell does that concern, Jessica?”

He didn’t like my tone, so he puffed up his chest and tried to intimidate me, I almost laugh at his attempt. I’ve killed guys twice his size and enjoyed it, and all they did was annoy me or get in my way. I’d happily slice the motherf**ks throat just for putting that look of fear on Jessica’s face.

“Listen, man, who gave you the right to question me? Whatever business I have with Jessica has nothing to do with you.”

This asshole was intent on pissing me off, and it’s been a couple of days since I’ve had the pleasure of watching the life go out of a person’s eyes. I stepped a little out of the bedroom, which caused the door to open a bit, revealing Jessica who was hiding behind it. The guy’s eyes flicked to her and I heard her fearful intake of breath, which just served to put me in an even worse mood.

“Motherf**ker, I don’t know who the hell you are and trust me that’s a good thing, because if for any reason your name appeared on my list then your days will be numbered. So, in order for you to remain alive and off of my list, you better turn around now and never look at Jessica again, because if I catch you anyway near her, I’ll be sure to put your name on the top of that list myself.”

I saw fear flashed in his eyes, but then within seconds, it was gone. However, I think the guy had a death wish because he ignored my warning and smirked at Jessica over my shoulders.

“See yah later, Jessica rabbit.”

I was about to punch the scumbag, but the sound of Jessica’s soft wailing and her body dropping to the floor made me abandon my mission and turned to her instead.

There was only one other time that I’ve seen her so scared, completely broken and vulnerable, and that was the time she confided in me. Telling me that when she was thirteen one of her brother’s friend raped her.

Instantly I rushed to her side and scooped her up into my arms, I held her, rocking her until she was calm enough to talk to me.

“Baby, was that him?”

I knew she knew what I was talking about, and when she gave a small nod of her head, I felt my rage intensified. However, what I didn’t understand was why the guy was in her house and not in jail getting his ass filled by some guy named Bubba.

Sitting her on the bed, I left her and went into the bathroom to get her some tissues. I handed it to her then took her hands into mine, I didn’t want to upset her any more than she already was, but I need to get down to the bottom of the situation.

“Jessica, if this guy raped you when you were thirteen, why the f**k isn’t he in jail, didn’t your parent get his arrested?”

She tried to pull her hands from mine, but I held onto to her. I wasn’t going to let her escape into her shell like she does whenever she feels threatened.

“Jessica, please baby, answer me.”

It was my pleading that did it for her, she never lifted her head to look at me, but she started playing with my hands.

“At first, when my brother brought him over to spend the summer with us when I was thirteen, I thought he was cute. I kinda had a crush on him, so like any thirteen-year-old, I’d dress up in my cutest outfit and always tried to be extra nice to him. Everyone in my family knew that I had a crush on him and my mother thought it was cute, and he was always nice to me but he would treat me like a little sister…”

Her voice caught and she had to paused to take a breath before she could continue.

“… Then one day when my parents were at work and my brother left to do the shopping, I was left at home with Kacey. At this point my crush on his was at a point zero, it became gross after he said I was like the sister he always wanted. So, when my brother left he stayed in his room and I stayed in mine, and since my parents weren’t home I decided to take a soak in their Jacuzzi bath. As I was coming out of their room and going into mine with only my towel wrapped around me, Kacey stepped into my path…”

The more she talked about the story, the more she shook as if she was reliving every moment.

“… I tried to step around him, but he kept blocking my path, that’s when I started getting scared. Then there was this look in his eyes and I knew that I had to get away from him, but when I tried to scream, he put his hand over my mouth and dragged me into my room. As much as I begged and pleaded with him to stop he never did. I told him it hurt, and I apologised for having a crush on him, but he never stopped. He kept saying that it was my fault, that what he was doing to me was all my fault.”

Her big soul-crushing sobs caused my heart to clench in my chest, I felt her pain and torture as if it was my own. I’ve never cried in my life, not even when I watched my big sister get shot right in front of me but watching the girl I loved re-live the most painful thing that has ever happened to her, made me cry like a f**king girl.

“When my brother and my parents came back home, that was the only time I left my room, and when I worked up the courage to tell them, they all looked at me with disappointment. Apparently, Kacey had already told them that I came on to him and begged him to have sex with me, and when he refused I told him that I’d tell my parents that he raped me. My parents were so upset that they grounded me for the rest of the summer, and it didn’t matter how much I pleaded with them to believe me, from that day on they lost all trust in me.”

I didn’t think I could dislike her parents any more than I already did but hearing that they chose to believe a stranger over their own daughter, made me want to put them both at the other end of my gun.

“It took Kacey two weeks to try again, I would always try not to be left alone with him, but that day I couldn’t avoid it. And that’s how it carried on for the rest of the summer, I never told my parents again because I knew they wouldn’t believe me. And every summer after that Kacey would come over to our house, and I knew what would happen but still, I never told anyone what he was doing to me when no one was home. He would always call me Jessica rabbit when he came for me.”

I did the math and rage filled me, for every abuse she suffered at the hand of the disgusting bastard. I knew what I had to do and I knew that I had to plan every little detail, down to the smallest molecule, the motherf**ker had five years of pain waiting for him.

“Looks like Kacey just bumped his way to the top of my list.”