I want You Deeper

“Thank you for meeting with us today.” Renee stared at the laptop screen in front of her, which was filled with four little squares, each containing a person. She occupied one of those squares. Just when she’d thought it was nice to be around human beings again, she was communicating with everyone by phone and email and video chat. She could have done all this on the boat.

“As you know, your essay caught our attention,” the marketing director, Tori, said as the other two people just stared straight at their own screens.

“Your journey was so fascinating.”

“We assume from the essay you’re giving up your previous work?” the only dude on the call, whose name she’d already forgotten, said.

Renee didn’t hesitate. “I’m exploring all my options. I don’t want to be tied down to one location, though. I’d love the freedom to travel.”

“We’re looking for more features like that,” Tori said. “Travel blogging, maybe some adventures. We loved the way you told the story of tracking down a missing billionaire through your own journey.”

That was exactly what Renee had done, although she hadn’t planned it when she sat down to write. She’d actually stared at her screen for thirty minutes, reviewing the piece she’d started that was all about Derek. She not only had his permission to write about him, but she had his quotes. None of it felt right.

Derek was responsible for his own story. Sure, he wanted her to reveal that he was no longer missing, and people could get that from the story if they wanted. In fact, a few media outlets had jumped right on that part of the story, saying “a San Francisco-area reporter” had tracked him down and he was traveling around on a yacht.

“I love telling stories in writing,” Renee said. “But it’s occurred to me, over the past few weeks, that investigative reporting isn’t really for me. I want to get out and explore the world, but I don’t want to dig into people’s secrets and expose them. That’s just not how I want to live my life.”

Tory nodded enthusiastically on her side of the screen. “You’ve probably looked through our site. We’re missing something, and your essay had it.”

Her essay had it, all right. Her dream publication had passed on it because it wasn’t what she’d promised. She got that. But within hours of starting her search for a good fit for this new piece, she had an offer with a pretty impressive dollar amount attached. More than she’d made in a day as a low-tier TV reporter, although that wasn’t saying much. But within hours of going live, the article had gone viral.

As she dealt with the attention she was getting online for what she’d written-both good and bad-she came up with another idea for a story. It had to do with her love for cooking. A food publication had paid her an amount that was lower, but still equal, to about a half day’s work in her previous position. She was hooked.

Then came this offer, from a marketing firm that had a blog designed to entice people to buy plane tickets and make hotel reservations through them. They hadn’t talked money yet, but she was thinking she’d combine this opportunity with some other freelance offers and make a living this way.

“We have an opportunity we wanted to float by you, but only if you’re interested.”

Tory’s voice pulled Renee back to the conversation happening in front of her. Yes, she had to focus. The last thing she needed was to be sitting there, staring off into space, when an important conversation was happening.

“One of our partners wants someone to write about their various properties. You’d have all expenses covered, and of course, we’d pay your per-article rate. It’s a great chance to travel the world.”

It was the opportunity of a lifetime. She’d probably never have an offer like this again. She should be excited about it.

But she wasn’t.

As Tory outlined what they were planning for this writer they contracted with, Renee couldn’t breathe. The next four months would be packed with travel, she realized as Tory listed off location after location they wanted her to visit. They’d fly her from place to place, put her up in a hotel, and pay for all her meals and other expenses.

“I can’t.” The words spilled out of Renee’s mouth before she could stop them. She couldn’t. Here she sat, in her parents’ house, with no obligations and nothing tying her anywhere. She’d gotten out of her lease on her San Francisco apartment and had no plans to return. She didn’t really fit anywhere right now. She had no reason to be in any specific place.

Yet she didn’t want to commit to a four-month job traveling the world. Or even the country. She wanted freedom.

Which was odd, considering this job would let her travel. Most people wouldn’t think of that as hampering freedom. But home wasn’t living out of hotel rooms, communicating only with some faceless employer inNôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

California or New York City. Home was… Home was with Derek.

“I don’t think this is the right fit for me,” Renee said. “But thank you for thinking of me. Have a nice day.”

It was probably rude, but she couldn’t deal with the people on the other end of the line trying to sell her on working with them. Now that she knew what she didn’t want, she had to figure out what she did want. That was something she needed to mull over on her own, without the interference of an outside party.

Renee’s phone dinged, and she looked down at the screen. April. She picked up the phone and read the text on the screen.

Call me.

She and April had exchanged cell numbers once they’d landed in Hawaii and no longer had the two-way radio on the boat for communication. Seeing April’s name on the screen made Renee immediately miss being with her work family.

She tapped the message on her screen and pulled up April’s information, launching a phone call. While the phone rang through, she stood and began pacing the length of her parents’ guest bedroom. It had been a long few days staying here, but until she figured out where she was going next, it was the right move.

“Hey there!” April’s voice boomed through the phone speaker. “Guess where we are?”

“No telling,” Renee said. “Close to land, I assume, since you have cell reception.”

“Very close. In fact, we’re on land. We’re in Tahiti. Looks like we’re going to be here a week or so.”

Renee frowned. “What’s wrong?”

Even though she hadn’t seen them in days, she immediately found herself worrying about her friends out on the ocean. Not to mention the man she couldn’t seem to stop thinking about, no matter how hard she tried. What if they’d been through another storm? What if they were stranded?

“The yacht’s for sale,” April said. “We’re waiting to see what happens next. If it takes too long, we may return home.”

Renee frowned. Wait a second. The yacht wasn’t really for sale. That was all part of Derek’s cover story. Why would he be selling it? She was completely lost.

“Derek’s working on selling it from where he is. But he’s also working on something else.” April cleared her throat. “So, I’m here to help with that part of things.”

“You aren’t making any sense.” Renee flopped down on her bed, fell flat on her back, and stared up at the ceiling. “Why would the yacht be up for sale? Why wouldn’t Derek be with you? How did you know his name is Derek?”

“He doesn’t want to do this anymore. I’m sure it has something to do with you. You guys can work that all out. The point is, Jake and I are transferring to a new team as soon as Derek can find a place for us. It’s just a challenge because we want to stay together, but there are a lot of openings right now.”

Okay, so that cleared up about half of her questions. The other half was far more important to her now, though. What was going on with Derek?

Thankfully, April quickly cleared it all up. “Derek told me the truth about himself. But the yacht wasn’t the same without you. He wants to be with you. One problem with that, though. Where the heck are you?”

“Arizona.” Renee couldn’t quite process what she was hearing right now. She heard the words, but they weren’t quite sinking in. “Did you say he wants to be with me?”

April laughed. “You sound surprised. Meanwhile, Jake and I saw it pretty clearly. You were both head over heels in love. You can chase after whatever dream you want but trust me when I say everything’s a little better when you have someone to share it with.”

Squeezing her eyes shut, Renee took in what her friend was saying. Yes, she made good points. There was no denying that. But it was impossible for her to believe she hadn’t completely messed up any chance she ever had with Derek Hughes. If she ever had a chance in the first place.

“Anyway.” April’s sigh came through the phone. “It’ll make my life easier if Derek can track you down. If you want to see him, that is. You two can get the whole ‘We’re madly in love and are going to spend the rest of our lives together’ thing out of the way.”

“So, you’re calling to find out my location?”

Although she may have sounded calm, Renee’s heart felt like it might pound right out of her chest. Derek was looking for her. He wanted to see her again. That was the best thing she’d heard. Ever.

“You know, I don’t know why I’m in a rush.” April laughed. “We’ve been paid-and mine was more than I made in two months in my old job. I guess I’m just a little anxious about what I’ll be doing a week from now. But Jake’s meeting with a charter yacht this afternoon on a video call.”

“Can I help?” Renee didn’t know why she was offering. She had plenty to do to line up her own work. Besides, it wasn’t like she knew anything about finding a job on a yacht crew. She was a little curious about it, though.

“Meet with Derek. Get things squared away. Then tell him to get to work helping us out.”

Oh, yeah. That was why April had called in the first place. Without hesitation, Renee blurted out her full address, including the offer to provide directions.

“I’m sure Derek can find it from that.” April laughed. “I know Jake is pretty good at finding his way around.”

“Things are going well between the two of you?” Renee asked.

“So good.” April sighed again, but this time it was a good sigh. It was an in-love sigh. “He’s the real deal. That’s why I hope we can stay on the same team. Maybe you can talk Derek into hopping back on that yacht and traveling the world. It would save him having to pay someone to bring that thing back to California if he doesn’t sell it in the next few days. I’d love to keep the four of us together.”

As she listened to April’s speech, Renee realized exactly why she’d panicked at the thought of committing herself to the company that wanted her to travel. It had nothing to do with wanting to stay in one place. It had everything to do with being with people she loved.

But as good as the thought of sailing the world with Derek, April, and Captain Jake sounded, it wasn’t the right future for her. If Derek was giving up his yacht, did that mean he was okay with that? She was faced with a dilemma. If it came down to it, she might have to let Derek go. She couldn’t let him give up the life he wanted on the water to be with her…and she couldn’t commit to living on a boat when she wanted a home, a family.

Unfortunately, she might have to let him go.