I’m Just His Wife

Only now did what happened last night sink into me. I know what happened was wrong but why do I feel that was right? Was it really just because of drunkenness that I let that happen or because I knew in myself that I still loved him?

When I woke up earlier, the beautiful smile and his eyes staring at me flashing with great pleasure immediately caught my eye. That’s how he thought of Lara then. Maybe he already loves me. But the question was how?

I know that there was no other reason for a person to love. When you love you love. But I’m still not really at ease. It was as if something was wrong, as if he wasn’t telling me something.

“I’ll tour you around later. You need enough rest. I think you were too tired last night.” Ivan suddenly said from nowhere and I heard his grin.

I rolled my eyes upwards. When because of his passion I still seemed to have a problem even though I knew nothing. This was so confusing. I no longer knew if we did it right or not.

“I already visited this place when I was a child, so you don’t need to tour me. I want to rest. My whole body feels so numb and painful …” I snorted slightly. What I am saying was true. Only now do I feel so tired and lethargic again after a few years.

“Numb and painful at the same time? Wow, that’s new.” he laughed.

I frowned at him and slapped his chest. If it isn’t because of that liquor he’s drinking last night, all of this won’t happen. I wouldn’t be confused like this if I didn’t drink. I don’t know about myself and I drink alcohol and I know I get drunk easily. Only wine can handle my body.

The other side of my brain tells me that what we have done was right. That we’re still married and we have the rights to do what we want with each other. But the other side tells me that it was wrong. That we’re just here to catch things up and rest from all of our struggles and problems. That we’re already separated from each other because of the pain we felt. That we shouldn’t be together because fate always makes us distant from each other. That fate itself doesn’t want us for each other.

So far I don’t know what to side with on the two things that were troubling my mind. I just want to be with him right now. I want to cherish this moments that we’re together because no one knows, even me, if we can still be together again after this. Someone might enter the picture again and ruin us.

“Do you regret what happened?” he asked blinking at me after I was stunned by his perfect face.

I looked at him for a while while he looked at me seriously. He caresses my bare back up to my soft hair. One of his hands gripped my waist tightly so that maybe I wouldn’t fall.

I was asking the same question to myself, too. But I couldn’t find an answer, not even for myself. How can I answer him if I have no answer even myself?

My mouth opened slightly but no voice came out of it so I immediately closed it as well. I’m afraid I’ll answer something wrong to him and I’ll hurt him so I’d better just keep quiet.

“Because I, I don’t regret it. Not for a moment did I regret what happened to us. I love you so much and that’s the only way I know I can show you that I really love you. And, if you regret it at all. I accept. I forced you to do that with me … “he smiled sadly and averted his eyes.

I took a deep breath and frowned slightly. Shit, Ivan … Why do you have to be …

I took a deep breath and used my one hand to present his face to me. He look pained but he still manages to smile.

“I don’t regret what happened, Ivan. Never …” I sang my two hands around his neck and hugged him. When I saw his expression like that my question was answered. I don’t regret that because I love him. Very dear.

He also hugged me back and tightened his grip on my waist. This scenes of him, saying that he loves me feels so unusual and at the same time, it feels so happy. I never thought that he will love me like what I’ve been wishing for.

I felt him showering slow feathery kisses on my exposed shoulder. I laughed a little and pushed his chest so I could get away from him a little.

“You don’t want to have an invalid and paralyzed wife, do you?” I raised my eyebrow while still smiling.

He looked at me innocently. “were my kisses crippling?” he asked.

“Manyak ka talaga. Since when did you become like that?” I shook my head.

He gave me a grin. “What did I say, hon?”

“Wow. You’re so good too. I asked a question and then you answered the question as well. You’re the one you’re talking to.”

‘that’s life.” he laughed and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead.

A smile was escaped from my lips. His laughter was like music to my ears. Maybe that”s how it really feels when you love someone. You were so affected even by the simple things he does.

I feel like everything was going too fast. But I can’t do anything because I just follow my heart’s desire. She wants to be with the person who was throbbing with her.

“Do you know how much beautiful you were? You’re as beautiful as a goddess …” he suddenly asked and stroked my cheek.

I was so bitten on my lower lip. “were you flattering me?” I grinned slightly.

He pinched my nose slightly and kissed it afterwards. “Nope. I’m just stating a fact. You’re so nice that I can meet other men when they look at you.”

“Harsh as ever. Tsk. By the way, let’s go home tomorrow huh?” yaya ko.Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.

His lips parted. ‘tomorrow right away? The speed. I still want to be with you for a long time, Rigella …” he moaned in response and then kissed my neck.

I slapped him on the arm. “What were you. We can’t last long because we have our own companies. And one more thing I have a surprise for you.” I smiled and arranged her hair which was a bit messy.

He stopped kissing my neck and looked up at me. “Surprise? What’s that?” he asked with a frown but I saw the gleam of joy pass through his eyes.

‘that’s a surprise, isn’t it? I’m not allowed to tell you. It’s only tomorrow when we get home.” my smile was wide and my system can feel the overwhelming joy because I am with the person I love so much.

He just sighed and nodded. He then squeezed his head around my neck and sealed it with small kisses. I just smiled and let her go as I stroked her hair. He said earlier that my neck was his favorite kiss so I just give it to him.

And the surprise I tell her was our twin son. I want him to meet our twins, including Ice. I don’t want to be unfair to him anymore because he was not at fault and he was still the father of my children.

All the more, he just protected me, like what he have said. So, I don’t have the rights to take away our children for me. He’s pure innocent and I’m not the type of person that does revenge on someone innocent. Revenge was just for weaklings, yes. But there’s nothing wrong on getting revenge on someone who did a lot of evil things. That’s a total absurd.

I just sighed and kissed his head. I don’t know how long we’ll be together so I’ll check these times first. If we really were indeed destined for each other, I know destiny will do something just for us to be together again. And I hope, that will happen. I don’t even know what will I do or what will I react if we’re not really meant to be. I love him so much and … I can’t really bare the pain anymore. That thing was too much.

“Something’s bothering you … were you okay?” he asked and stopped kissing my neck. He pulled me away a little from him and looked at my face.

I gave him an assuring smile. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

His forehead furrowed slightly. “No, you’re not. I know you very well, Rigella …” he shook his head and stroked my right cheek.

I took a deep breath and stared at him. I hope he will agree with this … “I was just thinking if … you’re ready to help me? You know, Uno has a plan to kill me and the people close to me.”

He was stunned and stared at me. Did I surprise him? Or does he not want to consent because he doesn’t want to lose his Dark Alpha title?

I admit, I’m nervous. I also don’t know to myself why that”s what I thought to say. It was just only an alibi but it turned out like this. Just what the hell. Why those words even came out of my mouth?

His serious stare at me feels so intimidating and terrifying. Like I said those words in a wrong way and I need to take it back. But … He can’t blame me either! I don’t even know why I said those!

“Ahm …” with my lips shaking, I gulped nervously and all I could say was that ‘word’ that came out of my mouth.

Then he averted his eyes and hugged me. The warmth of his hug feels so comfortable and safe. I felt him kiss my shoulder and he pulled me away a little from him.

She sighed. “I will always choose you more than anything else in this world so … I’m here to help you. Dark Alpha isn’t that important to me. I was just forced to join them.” he smiled at me.