IN BED WITH THE BOSS

“No, I don’t. I have no earthly desire to find out when you went out with Johnny, or Dickie, or Harry-or whoever else might be clogging up the romantic files in your memory. Why should I?”

Why, indeed? His voice sounded cold, clipped-she hadn’t heard it sound like that in all the time she had been going out with him.

But something made her probe away-with the poorly applied knowledge of someone who continued to pick a spot: that it always left a scar.

“It’s called wanting to get to know someone better, Scott”

His eyes gleamed out an unspoken warning. “Or intrusion, perhaps?” he questioned easily, getting up from his chair and going to stand behind her, his fingers beginning to rhythmically massage her shoulders.

“I know everything I want to know about you, Miss Sanchez”

She closed her eyes as she felt her body respond to his touch. Instantly turned on by him and furious with herself for being so. She tipped her head back, so that she caught the upside-down version of his face, and from this angle his features were distorted.

“You can’t keep relationships in aspic,” she objected.

He sighed, and stopped what he was doing. “I told you right from the beginning what this relationship was likely to entail, Vivian,” he said shortly. “You knew where you stood and you agreed to that, didn’t you?”

She nodded. He made it sound like a business merger. His voice softened. “Do you enjoy being with me, or not?”

Did the sun rise in the skies every morning? She nodded again.

“Well, then-don’t let’s spoil it.”

She didn’t say anything. He looked at the frozen set of her shoulders. Why could women never be satisfied with the status Quo? Why, if there was a boat drifting along on perfectly calm and pleasant waters, did they always want to rock it? Well, let her sulk if she wanted to sulk!

“I’m going to take a shower,” he said shortly.

And that had been that. She had been left feeling foolish, frustrated, and wishing that she had kept her mouth shut, but on the drive home she questioned whether their so-called relationship could continue like this. Relationships had to grow, didn’t they-or they withered and died?

Maybe that was what Scott wanted. Natural wastage…. Because he already had someone else on the side that he could fall back to.

He called her on Thursday to say that he had to fly to Rome. “And I won’t be back until late Saturday.”

“But you were supposed to be coming down to see me!” She knew as she was saying it that she was playing it all wrong, but that didn’t seem to stop her and, besides, why should it be a game?

“I know I was-but there isn’t really going to be enough time.” A look of determination came over his face. She had to accept what he was offering her, because he wasn’t going to offer more than that. “Let’s leave it this time, Vivian, shall we?”

It seemed she didn’t have any say in the matter. “Fine,” she agreed, resolutely cheerful and yet some-how despising herself.

His voice softened. “Listen, I’ll come down next weekend and make it up to you. How about that?” he asked.

But she felt like a child being fobbed off with an inferior toy at Christmas. She had thought that she would just love being with Scott so much that she would be prepared to go along with the kind of grown-up relationship he had outlined right at the start.

But she was slowly beginning to realize that it wasn’t enough-and if it wasn’t enough now, then what did the future hold?

Nothing… absolutely nothing. And she was tired of lying to herself and acting like she was happy. She was happy but whenever she thought about the fact that their relationship would eventually come to an end, it felt like air was being sucked out from her lungs. Staying with him when she knew that he would want nothing more would just be stupid and a waste of time. Moreover, she couldn’t stop thinking about the other lady he’d attended that party with. Who was she to him? And what had happened that made him so angry that he’d throw a punch at someone?

She’d done some research, and she’d recognized the man he’d punched as the man who’d grabbed her at the Cowell’s party. She’d remembered that he said something about Scott and his sister. Things were adding up and making sense, but she had to hear it from Scott now or she would go crazy.

“Who’s Jennifer Bennet?” she asked him. She had to know. There was a brief silence before he replied,

“Why are you asking me that?”

“Don’t… don’t do that, Scott” said Vivian. She was starting to get angry. “I know everything…I’ve known for a while now, but I want to hear the truth from you. Are you really in a relationship with her?”

“Well then, if you know everything, why the fuck are you asking me about it. I don’t have to explain myself to you or anyone, Vivian. If you don’t trust me, then that’s your problem not mine”

Vivian had heard enough, and she wasn’t going to let him talk to her that way. “I have been doing a lot of think, Scott” she said, “And I think that’s it’s time for us to end this for real. We don’t belong together… I see it clearly now.”

Scott was silent for a while. He was angry, but so damned hurt that she leaving him. This was what he wanted. A temporary relationship… Then why did it feel like she’d just reached into his chest and ripped out his heart.

“Are you serious right now?”

There was a pause before she replied, “Yes, Scott. I realize now that you don’t even respect me enough to give me answers to questions like this… because I’m nothing but a hook up to. A hook up that has lasted way too long. But I can’t do it any more. I want more than this. I want a real relationship, and I… I care about you and love you too much to settle for less with you.”Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.

There… she’d said it! The dreaded L word. What was he going to do now?

“If that’s what you really want, then that’s fine by me” said Scott, refusing to give into his feelings. He’d told her right from the beginning that he couldn’t offer her more. Why couldn’t she just be satisfied with the way things were. Whatever he was feeling, he was sure that it would pass soon enough, he thought.

“Bye Scott” Vivian said softly, unable to say anything else. She couldn’t believe that he was… unfeeling… after everything they’d shared. But of course she was the only one who had been living in fairy tale land. He’d told her right from the beginning and now she had no one but herself to blame, she thought as she hung up and finally let the tears flow.

___________

“Are you sure you didn’t rush into conclusions?” Megan asked Vivian with a concerned look on her face.

Vivian slammed the knife she was holding into the onion with more force than necessary. It had been a week since she’d ended her relationship or situationship or whatever it was she and Scott were doing, and yet she was still in a terrible mood.

The worst part was that there was so many feelings to process. One minute she was feeling better, then the next she was sad and crying her eyes out. One minute she was angry and felt like smashing everything around her, and the next she was watching her favorite TV show while laughing her eyes out.

Scott had not called or reached out to her since then. He’d not even shown up at the office. He’d probably gone back to Jennifer Bennet, she kept thinking even if the image of him with another woman made her want to burst into hot tears.

“Do l look like someone who jumps into conclusions, Megan?” she asked her friend, trying to focus her attention on the food she was cooking.

Megan didn’t reply, but the look on her face gave Vivian an answer.

“I know what I’m saying” Vivian concluded. “What other reason would make a guy get so defensive when you ask him about another woman? If he had nothing to hide, then why did he get so upset.”

“Urmm.. Maybe because he just realized that you don’t trust him and that you’ve been secretly investigating the woman you saw him with instead of asking him about her?”

“Oh, so now you think it’s my fault?” Vivian asked with a stunned expression on her face. “You’re my best friend, Megan. You’re supposed to be on my side.”

Megan chuckled, “I’m on your side, Vivian” she said, “I’ll always be on your side. All I’m saying is that… I loved how happy you were with him. All you could talk about was how perfect he was and how happy he made you and I guess I loved seeing you happy.”