JUNE BREAK

By AMAH’S HEART

“No..” I breathed it out.

“… I don’t want you to leave Phil, but you must try to understand that I’m trying to move on too with my life just like you already did. I don’t want to fight with you either, you have to do things properly…”

He took me to a chair and we sat down.

“What do you want me to do, then I will do it…” He said.

“, Is not about what I want you to do. You have to decide what exactly you want to do…”

“I want to kiss you, I miss you April and want you… please..”

“Phil youuuuu….””

He suddenly cupped my face in his hands and began kissing me again. I melt under his arm and couldn’t struggle. I want to stop yet I don’t want him to stop.

I felt helpless and moan silently as he held me close, his hand traveled under my loose blouse.

He lay me gently on the cushion and went fierce as he was almost pulling off my bra.

I had to push him away.

“April please..” he begged with so much passion in his eyes.

He moved to hold me but I stood from the chair, readjusting my clothes

When do Phil becomes this strange person.

The Phil I used to know is gentle, loving and will never forcefully pin me to a chair and tries to make out with me.

This must be all the effect he got from that Danielle or Phil is trying to take advantage of me.

“You’re mistaking me for a harlot or something close to that..

I kept trying to readjust my cloths, my bra fell to the ground.

I felt so cheap and loose as I shamefully picked it up.

“… please leave..”

I’m very certain now that I wanted him to be gone.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

He just walked back into my life after several months of staying away and cursing me for hurting him which I took full blame for.

I was hoping it will still work out only for him to move on and suddenly reappeared in my work place with his rich girlfriend who did not only bully me but threatened me right in his front.

Showing up after two weeks with no apologies to the scary event, he wants to forcefully sleep with me right in my sitting room, on my cushion.

What sensible man does that kind of thing.

This is definitely not the Phil I used to know.

Everything has changed about him

I could have fallen for this if it happened during the time I was trying to do everything for him to forgive me but not now that I was over brooding the past.

“I’m sor…” He paused, looked up at me and gasped out again as he tried to complete what he was trying to say.

“.. I’m sorry. I thought that’s the way you liked it..?

“Like what? I asked ready to fire back

“Isn’t that the way you like your man to make out with you? I thought I was too gentle, not man enough for you. Louise was the man with the action and you gave him yourself on a daily basis and lied to me..”

I opened my mouth speechless.

“Are we going back to this again..?

“Yes, yes April. I just want you to tell me what I wasn’t doing right. I haven’t been the same man ever since then. I can’t get you out of my head, I can’t be happy even as I decided to move on and forget about you. I felt miserable, broken and can’t trust any woman because of you. You hurt me beyond repair April. Danielle was actually the second lady I was trying to move with. It still didn’t work out, not just because of her arrogance and disrespect but because I was trying to forget you yet I bought. And then this other guy showed up and started presenting designers and flowers to you and asking you to date him and I was there praying that you won’t. I almost went crazy watching the show, I don’t care about Danielle or her ill attitude problem. I was more after you April. What did I ever do to you that made you hurt me? I try to be the best I can be for you, I never know that I was being deceived. It hurts.. everyday it hurt, April…”

He heaved a heavy sigh, emotional anger was written on his face

“… the bitter truth that I hate to admit to, is the fact that I still love you despite everything. I can’t find happiness elsewhere or move on for really. You think I moved on, I was only trying to escape from the whole emotional attachment for you. I understand that you’re in a relationship. Well, I’m not in a relationship anymore, I ended things with Danielle that very night and I’m not trying to get into another, I’m not going to force myself into another relationship just to forget you. I’m done trying and won’t force things to happen between another lady and I knowing that it won’t end well. I will heal faster if maybe you tell me the truth what I did wrong or why you will hurt me knowing fully well I meant good for you. I will never deliberately hurt you… never. and I’m really sorry if i did that in anyway without knowing. If you’re not ready to talk then don’t talk, I will just leave like you want. I don’t know when or how long it will take but I hope to really move on for real someday..”

He readjusted his clothes and began walking towards the door.