Lost Me Gained Regret

The air felt as if it had solidified, and my heart dangled in suspense.

I was still hoping, foolishly, for him to say something, anything, that might make sense of it all.

After a tense moment, the only thing that came my way was a cold, hard question, "You're in such a hurry to get a divorce?"

The weight of my emotions was suffocating, making it hard to breathe. I looked up at the glaring light in the living room, blinked away the tears, and despite the turmoil inside, my words came out cruel.

"Can't wait."

I needed it to be over before the pregnancy became obvious.

With my child's future on the line was a risk I couldn't afford.

Behind me, Bryant said nothing more. His answer was the sharp sound of the door closing.

I felt as if all my strength had been drained as I slid down against the shoe cabinet, staring blankly at the ceiling.

My heart felt empty, a dull ache spreading uncontrollably through it.

That night, unusually, I wasn't plagued by sickness and lay awake, tossing and turning.

The autumn wind howled all night, as if trying to penetrate my very being, leaving me soaked with a chill.

I guess I could accept that he didn't love me, and even that he married me because of his grandfather's arrangements..

But what I couldn't accept was that my cherished three-year marriage was nothing but a reluctant sacrifice he made for someone else.

How foolish I was, filled with joy, thinking I had landed myself a true gem.

The next day, I was barely awake when Christine called, asking how my foot was and if I needed to take a day off.

I got out of bed to test it, feeling mostly fine.

Although not completely back to normal, it wasn't really affecting my walking.

She said she would pick me up in twenty minutes, not giving me a chance to refuse.

When I went downstairs, my Panamera was parked right at the building's entrance.

Christine rolled down the window, eyeing my foot suspiciously, "Sure you're alright?"

"Nothing serious, Mark got me some really effective medicine yesterday."

As I spoke, I got into the passenger seat.

Christine raised an eyebrow, intrigued, and started the car, clicking her tongue, "Imagine if the guy you had a crush on was Mark, how happy you'd bel

"As if me liking someone means they'd like me back," I replied, not knowing what to feel.

"You never know."

Suddenly, Christine seemed to hit on something deep, "What if, back then, the one who took you to the infirmary and brought you food was actually Mark? Would you have fallen for him just like you did for Bryant?"

I chuckled, "There are no 'what ifs' in life."Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

"But what if there was? Christine persisted. "Just tell me, would you?"

Looking out of the car window at the bustling crowd, I thought for a m moment, then shook my head, "I don't know."

Whether it's liking or loving someone; it's all about a moment's feeling.

If Mark had been the one to take me that day to the infirmary that day, and thad opened my eyes to see him bathed in sunlight.

Maybe, just maybe, I would have fallen for him, But there are no 'what ifs. I saw Bryant, and from then on, there was only Bryant for me.

"Fate, huh?" Christine, unusually philosophical, mused, "It really does like to play tricks on people."

"Enough about me, how are things going with you and Steven?"

"From a one-night stand," Christine played coy for a moment, then burst moment. into laughter, vadiant and stunning, E

'to several more nights of fun."