Love, Milo

My mind races at a thousand miles an hour as I pace my father’s office.

I’ve been up here in one of his owned buildings for nearly half an hour, waiting for him to arrive after the bullshit text he threw at me when I was with Raelynn.

He knows what he’s doing. Any slither of happiness that man sees in me; he goes out of his way to drain it completely. He’s done it with every friend I’ve ever made. Even in elementary school, he’d scare them away. Any girlfriend he disapproved of had no chance of going anywhere with me. How much longer? How much longer will he control my life?

I could get past the other things he’s done to me, but trying to get me to leave Raelynn? He’s out of his Goddamn mind with this one.

I know I should’ve told her what was going on. Raelynn. My darling Raelynn.

But there isn’t any universe where she will ever understand it all. It was so long ago when the deal was made, the deal I made with my father. I thought it was done for me, that I would never have to think about it again, but things beg to differ.

I’m a fool to think being engaged to another would be brushed under the rug so easily.

My heart pounds against my chest as I stare at my phone to re-read Morgan’s text: Need to speak with you ASAP. Jenna and her family have returned, and she wants her wedding. And husband.

Gripping my phone, I groan in my palm, sitting on Morgan’s desk as memories flood my brain.

Jenna. My ex. Jenna. Poking condoms. Jenna. fucking crazy. Jenna… my fiancé of seven years.

Seven years. It always seems to fall back to seven fucking years ago. Seven years since my first beating. Seven years since my friendship with Logan ended. Seven years since my dad forced me to get engaged to Jenna Briggs so her father could collaborate business deals with him. Eighteen and stupid I was. It’s not like Jenna and I were ever in a serious relationship. She may have thought so, at least, with her desire to have children and get married. But after she slept with Logan, I was lucky enough to find out she was moving across the country, far away from me and from my life. But still connected by our engagement. My father hadn’t cared to break it off. My sadness meant nothing as long as I faked my love for his friend’s daughter and his business deals were still strong.

The door to his office opens, and I get on my feet, watching my father walk in quickly; I catch a glimpse behind him before the door shuts of Jenna, her father, and her mother talking amongst themselves.

‘Son,’ Morgan says, sitting at his desk. ‘You got here quick.’

‘Quick?’ I laugh humorlessly. ‘It’s been thirty fucking minutes; I left my girlfriend—’

‘That woman is not your girlfriend. The one standing outside that door is now. Your fiancé at that.’ He pulls out some papers and begins to scribble down on sheets. I stare at his graying head of hair and solid facial expression. ‘I have to admit, I hadn’t expected them to return, but her father wants to work beside me. Do you know how good that will be for our company? Collaborating permanently?’

I walk towards him, slamming my hands on his desk, ‘I don’t give a flying fuck about your companies. I will not marry that woman. I won’t. I’m twenty-five. I’m not a child anymore that you can hit with your belt and expect to follow your orders like a dog.’

Morgan lifts his head and hums. ‘I see she’s getting to you?’ He says, standing. His voice had always been something that intimidated me; chills would run down my spine and make me shiver. But I stand strong, remembering the touch of Raelynn’s arms around me just an hour ago. ‘Is she who you can depend on?’

Before I can speak, he continues. ‘Can she provide for you if… let’s say I cut you off, rid you of your money and pretty cars you drive her around with? Then what? Can you two raise children together, both poor?’

‘I will go poor for her then. I will struggle with her. At the end of the day it will be our problem together. Take the money, see if I care.’

He walks around the desk slowly, not a wrinkle in his suit or a fault in his posture. ‘Then what? What life will you live? How do you know she isn’t with you for this money you care so little about, hm?’

‘She isn’t.’

‘How do you know?’

‘I said she’s not!’

He shakes his head, standing tall in front of me. I keep my chin high as he speaks. ‘Raise your voice again, boy. And I’ll show you what a man truly is because clearly, you’ve forgotten.’ He pauses, and I’m silent. ‘Now, I’ve done some digging on that girl. Raelynn, her name is?’

I don’t answer him, and he nods.

‘Beautiful flower shop she owns. And garden as well, right in the perfect place of Manhattan, don’t you think?’ He grips my shoulder tightly. My throat swells as I realize where he’s going with this. ‘It’d be a shame if someone ran her out of her property and ridden her hard work. I’d put good use to it all, maybe more offices for my men, new shops—’

‘Leave her out of this,’ I plead. ‘She’s done nothing wrong, leave her alone.’

His eyebrows raise, ‘You’re right, she’s done nothing, son. It’s really up to you to choose what you want to do. Keep dating her and explain to her why all her pretty flowers have to go, or end whatever you two have going on and let her live happily without any problems. Sure, a little heartbreak, but it’s simpler this way; you’re smart enough to understand that, Milo. At least I hope you are.

‘I heard from Genesis about Iris in the hospital as well. Did you know about the surgeries she needs to do?’ He slyly threatens. ‘Who do you expect to pay for them if not me? If you want to choose a woman you just met over your mother, then you deserve nothing at all.’

‘That’s your wife.’

‘She’s no more my wife than she is the mother of my children.’

‘Does it matter? You play with her life like she means nothing to you!’

‘That isn’t the point of all of this.’

My eyes flick between his two gray ones. I hate sharing so much with him: our dark hair, gray eyes, and broad frame. Genesis is lucky to have been blessed with their mother’s brown eyes and hair. I stare at him, wishing I could burn with my gaze, but I can only tear up. I hate crying in front of him. I hate showing that he’s getting to me. That he’s winning. Again.

‘Why?’ I break. ‘Why do you take every chance you get to ruin my life?’

He smiles and shakes his head. ‘Your life is just beginning, boy. Don’t be so dramatic.’ He points to the door. ‘Now, go out there and say hello to your fiancé. I suggest you learn to get along with her; she’ll be around for much longer this time.’ He chuckles and turns his back to me.

‘A few days,’ I say. ‘Just give me a few days to break it.’

He waves his hand in the air. ‘Just get it done.’

I turn my head and wipe my eyes before opening the door to the office, not wanting to speak another word to the devil of a man behind me. On the other side is Jenna, her eyes gleaming green with a tight black dress that matches the purse in her hand.

‘Milo,’ she says with a smile. I only stare at her. ‘Long time no sees.’ Her hand rises to wave at me.

Her parents look my way, and her father walks towards me with a handout. ‘Milo! Buddy, good to see you. Morgan told me how much you’ve been missing Jenna.’ He hugs me, and I clear my throat, willing myself not to say anything. If I say something to them other than excuse myself, I might blow it all, hurting Raelynn in the end.

‘Yeah,’ I whisper, glancing over the family. ‘Will you all excuse me? I have to go. It’s very late.’ I don’t wait for them to say goodbyes before ushering myself towards the staircase and down to my car.

Breathing becomes nearly impossible as I open my car door and get in, slamming it shut. I strip my coat off, pulling my sleeves up and unbuttoning a shirt button. I can’t breathe. God, why can’t I breathe?

‘Raelynn,’ I whisper, now sobbing to myself. ‘I’m so sorry.’

My hand approaches the steering wheel, and I slam my palm into it repeatedly until a sting pain resides up my arm.

If it were just me, he was threatening, I’d be okay. I’d be more than okay because he’s done much more to me than sending a few threats. But when he targeted Mom, Raelynn, her shop, and her garden, my heart dropped, and it still lies on the floor, ready for him to step on it.

I’ve known this woman for a month and some, and she already has my heart in the palm of her hands. When you spend every waking moment, especially for a month, thinking about a single person, spending your days with them, they tend to play a big role in your life. I’ve never needed someone as much as I need Raelynn.

But I see no other way around what my father has put me in the middle of so abruptly.

One moment, I’m having the time of my life, giving Raelynn the time of hers. Next, I’m thinking of ways to break up the relationship I just asked to create with her.

It’s all my fault, really. I knew I was engaged; I knew it, and I thought it meant nothing since it’s been so long.

I even stopped Raelynn and me from going any further because I wanted to make sure I had broken off this bullshit engagement all those years ago.

I couldn’t let her think I was entirely hers when I had another thinking the same. I couldn’t. I can’t, and I won’t. Raelynn deserves more. She deserves much better than that.

My phone rings in my coat pocket, and I reach for it, reading Raelynn’s name and staring at her contact picture. It’s her eating a pickle. I took it randomly the first week she stayed at my home. She looks so beautiful, round cheeks and brown eyes, a beaming smile I’d die for.

I answer the phone, and Raelynn gasps softly. ‘Baby?’ She says in a sleepy voice. My chest tightens at the little nickname. I want to hear it again. ‘I’ve been calling you; where did you go?’Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.

Painful tears fill my eyes, and I drop my head, squeezing the steering wheel. ‘I had to make an errand,’ I whisper.

‘It’s really late. I can’t fall asleep without you… I don’t want… any more memories,’ she mutters her words, fighting her sleep.

I nod, assuming she means nightmares. Clearing my throat, I speak. ‘I’ll be there in a few minutes, my love.’

‘Okay,” she mutters. ‘Are you mad at me?’

I furrow my brows. ‘Why would I ever be mad at you?’

She hums something that sounds like she doesn’t know, ‘You seemed off when you left.’

I shake my head even though she can’t see me. I’m getting married to another. But I don’t say that. Not now, not yet. Just a little bit longer, can I live in a life where things are perfect?

‘You’ve done nothing wrong. You never have. I’ll be there in a little.’ We say our goodbyes, and I find myself on the road again, back to Raelynn with a throbbing headache and an aching heart.

Getting to our apartment building, up the stairs and inside doesn’t take long.

It’s dark, with a few lamps paving my way after I slip my shoes off and go to the bedroom.

And in my bed lays Raelynn, hugging one of my pillows tightly against her as she whimpers a cry.

My eyes soften in worry, and I quickly slip off my coat and throw it over my desk chair, taking off onto the bed without another thought and making my way towards her.

Digging my knee into the bed, I nudge her hips softly, ‘Rae?’

She continues to cry and rock, and I’m positive she has no clue she’s dreaming about whatever it is that she’s seeing.

‘Raelynn, darling, wake up.’ I sit down and take her arm, rocking her a bit, and she jerks awake with a yelp, frantic and in a panic. ‘Hey, hey, It’s me. It’s Milo,’ I assure her.

She breathes roughly, and her face is drenched with tears and maybe sweat as she stares at me in confusion. Then her eyes soften, and she sighs and drops her head into me.

‘I hate sleeping,’ She weeps. ‘I hate it. He haunts every one of them.’ Her arms wrap around me, and I tightly hold her head against my chest. She continues. ‘Make him go away, Milo. You s-scare him away,” her words blur together with her sobs, and I cry as I listen to her, stroking her hair and keeping her locked against me.

‘He’s gone,’ I kiss her temple, and she sniffles, digging her face into my neck. ‘He won’t ever hurt you again, my love.’

It is me who will.