Loving Quinn Novel by North Rose

(Quinn)

Grace is stating at Annora as she sits down on the sofa in the living room. We called her down from her room shortly after we got home from picking her up from school. The conversation I had with her principal is the reason she is now in trouble.

A fight with another student.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

When her teacher asked what the issue was, Grace and the other student refused to talk. Because of the timing, the principal sat them both in the office to wait for their parents’ arrival. He called us to inform us what happened, and her teacher was waiting for us when

we arrived.

She spent the entire ride home staring at her lap. Annie sent her straight to her

change out of her school uniform, then told her to come straight down when she was done. Grace stomped her way up the stairs, slammed her door closed, then stomped back down twenty minutes later.

We have been sitting across from her for the last ten minutes while asking her why she punched the other girl.

“Grace, what is going on lately? You have been acting out since we moved in with your

father. This is what you wanted. For us to live with your dad and be a family.” Annora says.

“It has nothing to do with us living here.”

“Then what is it?” I ask her.

She opens her mouth to say something but closes it, then glares at me. She folds her arms over her chest then doubles down, refusing to tell us the truth. What happened to my sweet natured little girl?

“Grace Elizabeth Greyson, if you don’t start talking, then you will stay with Haylie on Friday at our old house instead of going to the engagement party.” Annora says.

To my surprise, our family and friends have decided to throw us an engagement party on us since they will

Friday night. Grace was excited because Annie agreed to let her go with hold it in a hotel with a pool. We hired Haylie to watch over Grace when she was in the pool. or up in our suite.

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This is something she was looking forward to, so taking it away from her as punishment is bound to get her to talk.

“It was her fault. I told her to stop talking about my dad, but she wouldn’t stop.”

This makes me frown. Why is one of her classmates talking about me? What is going on here? I glance at Annora to see if she is just as confused as I am. She has a frown on her face. that matches my own.

“What was this other girl saying about me?”

Her sea-green eyes look down at her hands. Then, to my complete horror, her lower lips tremble as tears slip from her eyes. What the hell was said to make her have this kind of reaction?

“She called you a murderer. She said that all soldiers do is kill innocent women and children. for our government.”

When she looks back up at us, there is anger in her eyes. It matches the anger I feel right now. That girl was parroting her ignorant parents, that I don’t doubt.

“I am eleven and even I know that isn’t true. Bad things happen in conflict, but what she said is a lie. You are not a murderer.”

The conviction in my daughter’s voice makes me get up, move to her, then pull her into my arms. The horrors of war are too ugly for any child to know about. I want to know the names of the other child’s parents so that we can get this matter resolved fast.

“How long has this girl been saying these things to you?” I ask her.

“Since you first came to the school to talk to the principal after mama told you about me. He made an announcement at our next school assemble that my father is a soldier, and we should all honor your heroics for our country.”

While I appreciate his words, that is not something I want the entire school to know. Grace’s friends, their parents, and her teachers, sure, but not the entire school. This makes me angry that he didn’t consult me before he made that decision.

Į glance at Annora over Grace’s head. She looks angrier than I have ever seen her before. I

her mama bear’s instincts coming to life. Her hazel eyes are blazing with rage. Grace moves into Annie’s arms as she sits down next to her.

can

see

2/7

Wasting no time, I stand up off the sofa, then walk to my office. I plan on sending a strongly worded email to the principal requesting a conference between the parents of the other child and us. This is a very unacceptable situation.

After I send the email, I walk back into the living room to find my girls. They are snuggled together on the sofa watching a movie. I walk up behind them, then kiss the top of Grace’s head. I have a feeling she has questions she wants to ask me.

What kid wouldn’t be curious of what their father did during war? She has asked me what my job was when I was deployed, but she has never delved too deep into that part of my life. I was grateful for that. I think she knew I didn’t want to talk about it.

“Who wants pizza for dinner?”

Grace raises her hand but stays silent. Annora glances up at me with a small smile, then goes back to watching the movie. I leave them to watch their movie and make my way to the

kitchen. To calm myself down, I think making our pizza from scratch will be an excellent

distraction.

After pulling out all the ingredients, I turn on the stereo in the kitchen. Once the smooth jazz fills the room, I walk to the counter to make the pizza dough. When the dough is complete, I slide it into a pizza pan to cook.

Time for the vegetables. My girls love mushrooms, chunks of tomato, onions, and thick slices. of bell peppers on their pizza. As I am slicing the peppers, Annora walks into the kitchen. She walks around the counter, then slides her arms around my waist from behind. When she presses her face to my back, I sit my knife down, then turn around to look at her.

“Where is Grace?”

“I sent her upstairs to do her homework.”

“Want to help me finish these veggies?”

She nods her head, then turns to the sink to wash her hands. I pull out another cutting board and knife for her as she does. The prep work goes much faster with the two of us doing it. We talk about the upcoming engagement party to keep the conversation light.

Jam going to keep Grace home tomorrow. My schedule is clear for the rest of the week unless an e ency with one of my patients comes up. I think a mother-daughter shopping

at the spa is in order.”

trip and a

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“Call your mom too. Make it a girl’s day out” 1 z.

“That is a great idea. I will do that in the morning”

Annor watches as I assemble the pizza on the crust that she pulled out of the oven for me a minute ago. I feel slightly self-conscious as she does. Most of the time what I have cooked in the past it was only for me. The few times I have cooked for her, she has been very observant while I do

I slide the pizza back into the oven, then turn around to clean up my mess. Once the kitchen. is spotless, I pour us both a glass of red wine, then I sit at the count

to ding, signaling that dinner is ready.

wait for the timer

“Grace has questions for you, I am not sure I know what she will ask, but I think we should talk to her about your past as a soldier.”

“I agree, but Fam not sure what to tell her. What if she asks if I killed anyone? Do I lie or tell the truth?”

“Were any of those deaths avoidable?”

“Only one…”

She puts her hands up to her lips to silence me, I hear Grace on the stairs as she does. The darkness of my life as a soldier is casting its shadow on my family, I hate it, but it was Inevitable. I feared one day I would have to talk to my daughter about that part of my life.

I am not ready,

This is a conversation I don’t think I will ever be ready for.

“Is dinner ready?” She asks when she walks into the kitchen.

“In a few minutes, it will be. That is enough time for you to wash your hands, grab plates,

then set the table.” Annora says.

“Can’t we just eat in here?” She asks.

Annie looks at me, so I just nod my head. Grace gives me a smille the rushes from the kitchen to go wash her hands. When she comes back, I am sliding the pizza onto the cooling rack. She helps Annie grab plates, then sits at the counter.

Once we are all seated, I slice the pizza, then serve us each a slice. Grace does a little wiggle

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in her seat after she takes her first bite. This is her way of saying it is good. I love nights like this with my girls. I am eager to add an addition to our family as soon as possible.

I asked Annie last night what she would like to have, a boy or a girl. She wants a boy this time around but told me that if he or she is healthy, then she really doesn’t care. All she wants is a to add to our family. (

I can already imagine what she will look like as our baby grows inside her. At first, I thought she wanted to have another baby with me to make it up to me for missing out on her pregnancy with Grace. Then, as she got more and more excited about

just wants us to have another baby.

That made me happy.

idea, I realized she

The day she tells me she is pregnant will be one of the happiest days of my life. I can’t wait to see Grace’s face when we tell her she will be a big sister. Being an only child can be lonely. Even if she says nothing about it, I know how it feels to be one.

“Grace, are you ready to hop back into the world of hobbits?” I ask.

Her pizza is gone, her eyes are drooping, and I think now is a good time for all of us to head to bed. When she nods at me, I scoop her up then carry her to her room. Her giggles as I toss her over a healing balm over my wounded heart.

my shoulder are lik

However, after she has brushed her teeth and changed for bed, her expression is no longer a happy one. Our reading time has become a family affair, so Annora is in here with me. She sits up straight as we watch our daughter struggle to find the words to the questions she wants to ask.

“Ask what you need to Grace. I will answer what I can.”

Her eyes /

to mine as she nibbles on her lower lip. “How did you know?”

“You are curious about what I did in the Army. That is natural. Now, add in what your classmate said, it makes you want to know even more.”

She nods her head, then thinks about what I said. Please don’t let her ask any of the hard to answer questions. Please let her only ask what it was like over there and stay on the lighter

stuff.

“Did you have to kill anyone over there?”

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Of course, she would go straight for the hard question.

I nod my head as there are no words to express my sorrow at all I did during wartime. All I was forced to do to survive. All the lives that I saved far outweigh the lives I took. Those deaths will forever haunt me.

“Was it hard?”

My eyes fly up to her face. I can feel the emotion clogging my throat when I look into my daughter’s eyes after she asks me if taking a life is hard. How do I tell her just how hard it was, but I did because it was my job and often my life or theirs?

1 take a deep breath before answering her question.

“Yes. It was very hard. My job wasn’t about killing people. More often than not, it was about saving the lives of innocent people.”

Grace gets out of bed, then gives me a big hug. When she lays her head on my shoulder, I slide her up onto my lap the cradle her in my arms. I love the trust and faith she puts in me.

“You are my hero and no matter what you did over there, it isn’t who you are. I love you,

daddy.”

“Oh, Gracie. I love you too. I am so grateful that I was blessed with such an amazing gift.

You.”

She looks at me with the brightest smile on her face, then climbs off my lap and back into bed. With a nod of her head, I open our book. It is time to leave the real world behind and delve into the magical land of hobbits, elves, and dwarves.

Much later, when Annie and I were up in our room, I let the floodgate open on my tears. Annie sits behind me with her arms wrapped around my waist and her face pressed to my skin. She holds me while I sob for every life I took.

War is always deadly. Innocent lives are always lost on both sides of any conflict. It doesn’t. charge the stain left on our souls when soldiers walk away from a battle. We may walk away ince piece, but we never walk away unscathed,

“I never want that part of my life to touch our daughter again. It is hard enough leaving it in the past when it will forever be in my head. Grace doesn’t need to know about any of that. At least not until she is much older.”

Annora distracts me by slipping getting off the bed then slipping into my lap. She changes the subject swiftly my kissing me softly. Her arms around my shoulders make me let out a shuddery breath. This is what I needed.

“You always know what I need. Thank you for being here with me. Tha..k you for being mine,

Annie.”

“I meant what I said before. I will be the wall between you and your demons. My arms will be here to hold you anytime you need them. Every day and every night for the rest of our lives.”

“I love you, Annie.”

“You better,” she smiles at me.

I flip her over, kiss her softly, then snuggle her to my side. I never want to fall asleep without her again. She is my safe space.