Chapter 60 by Cara Anderson
Ch. 60 Dead To Me
Colton’s POV
* Flashback: Earlier That Night *
Every step I took away from Mallory was like a knife to my heart. Shame followed me like a rain cloud over my head, threatening to drown me in its downpour. But no matter how many different ways I played out various scenarios in my mind, this was the only solution that led to the desired outcome: finding out the enemy’s plan and stopping him before he could hurt my mate.
Betraying her was the hardest thing I would ever have to do. But after hearing those rogues threatening Mallory, admitting that shitty excuse for an Alpha had eyes on her, I knew there was no other way. It was the only thing that kept me putting one foot in front of the other.
My gut instinct told me Darcy was involved somehow and I needed to find out what she knew. I needed her to trust me again, get comfortable enough to slip up in my presence so I could find out the enemy’s plans.
I’d considered using my Alpha command to try and force the information from her but it was too big of a risk. Darcy was Alpha blood too so my command might not work. If that were the case, she’d never trust me again and our only shot at gaining vital information might be lost.
I couldn’t take that chance. Not with Mallory’s life. Besides, if Darcy was responsible for selling out my mate, my Luna, I would gladly put her in harm’s way to serve my own needs. If she got hurt in the process, it was no more than she deserved.
But the way I’d left things with Darcy meant gaining her trust wouldn’t come easy. It was going to take more than words. I would have to show her and doing so would cost me everything but I’d pay that price a hundred times over if it meant keeping Mallory safe.
“Colton, what are you doing here?”NôvelDrama.Org content rights.
Darcy crossed her arms over her chest and blocked the door when she opened it to find me standing there.
“I, um, came to apologize.” I said, looking as sheepish as a six foot four Alpha could manage.
“For what? Lying to me about still wanting me over your fated mate? Or accusing me of having her kidnapped?” She returned mulishly.
“Both, uh, I mean, I didn’t lie exactly and I never should have accused you that way. It’s just, Kai was losing his shit over his mate getting hurt,” at least that part was true, “and he was already mad at me for choosing you. He took over and lashed out at you because he knew it would hurt me.”
Darcy stared back at me for an interminable minute before she finally stepped aside, allowing me to enter her apartment. She walked over and sat on the couch, recrossing her arms in a move that said I wasn’t even close to being forgiven. A small jerk of her chin was the only indication she gave that she was willing to hear the rest of my apology.
“Please, Darc,” I begged, forcing remorse into my tone and regret into my eyes as I sat beside her and took her hand. “I know I fucked up. Please give me another chance to fix it. I wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be to convince Kai to give up his mate, but I’ve got him under control now. I swear it.”
Darcy’s eyes softened and for the briefest moment, I thought my groveling had won her over, but she blinked and the hard mask reasserted itself. She might’ve been guilty of everything I suspected her of, but she was angry and hurt too. And those emotions were the only ones gazing back at me at the moment.
“You hurt me, Colton. When you asked me to be your chosen mate, your Luna, I was terrified of this exact scenario. But you assured me over and over again that you would always choose me over a fated mate and I believed you.
“Then, Mallory came home and nothing has been the same between us. I just don’t understand. You never looked twice at her before she went away. I know the mate pull can be strong, but is it really so unyielding that you would suddenly give up everything we built together for someone who was never worth your notice before?”
I hung my head in my hands and hoped that she thought it was to hide my shame. In truth, I was struggling to control my temper. Everything in me wanted to set her straight, to tell her I’d never been able to keep my eyes off of Mallory, I’d just gotten really good at hiding it. And she had always been worth far more than I deserved.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I know I hurt you and I don’t expect you to forgive me easily. But if you give me another chance, I’ll prove to you that I’ll never hurt you again.” The words tasted sour on my tongue but there was no going back now.
Darcy’s shoulders sagged and I reached out tentatively. When she didn’t pull away, I took a chance and pulled her into my lap, nuzzling into her hair. It took all I had not to gag on her cloying, overly sweet scent but it kept her from looking into my eyes and had the added benefit of reinforcing my feigned affection for her.
“I’ll try, Colton.” She sighed, finally relenting. “But I’ll need more than just words this time. I know you don’t want to hurt your brother’s chances with Mallory by betraying your bond and causing her pain, but I can’t carry on a relationship with you with no physical connection between us.
“I’m not trying to be a bitch, but I have needs too. I need to feel your love for me, to kiss you and be kissed. I need you to make love to me.”
“I know.” I breathed out, reining in my guilt enough to get through what I knew would have to come next, forcing out my next words. “It was unfair to ask that of you before. I won’t make that mistake again.”
I pulled back to cup Darcy’s face in my hands, using every ounce of dramatic skill I could muster to fill my eyes with a love and longing I didn’t feel. Then, sending up a quick prayer to beg the Moon goddess’ forgiveness, I dipped my head to kiss the woman I’d come to revile, knowing it would cost me the woman I loved.
* End Flashback *
I did my best to breathe through my nose, swallowing down the bile that rose in my throat as Darcy deepened the kiss. My stomach twisted and turned in some kind of nausea- inducing gymnastic routine as I thought about the pain I was causing Mallory. But to pull away would be tantamount to admitting the lie I was so desperate to sell.
“Nooo!” My wolf roared in my head, furiously fighting to tear me away from the interloping she-wolf who wasn’t our mate.
“I’m sorry, Kai. But we both know this is the only way to keep Mallory safe.” I reminded him again. He howled mournfully but stopped fighting me.
Clay and Cary pushed against the barrier in my mind, trying to force their way in, but I resolutely shut them out. Only one thing could push them to fight their way in so forcefully. Mallory was in pain. I was crushing her and they were desperate to make me stop.
Hot tears of anguish, shame and regret spilled down my cheeks as I forced my tongue into Darcy’s mouth and let my hands slip from her face to roam her curves. I squeezed my eyes shut tight against the sound when she moaned into my mouth.
My skin crawled and my stomach heaved but still I didn’t pull away. Even knowing this was the exact moment Mallory was learning to hate me like never before, I let my need to protect her from a much greater evil drive me on. 1
At least she would have Clay and Cary to heal her heart. I could live with that as long as it meant she would be safe from harm. That was still far from a guarantee but I would sell my soul to Hades himself if there was a chance this would work.
Just when I thought I couldn’t stand another minute of Darcy’s touch, the sound of her phone ringing made her pull away.
“I’m sorry but I have to get that.” She apologized, and I could have sworn I saw a fleck of guilt and maybe even fear flash in her eyes.
“Of course. I’ll wait right here.” I encouraged and watched with eager anticipation as she hurried away.
As soon as she left the room, I stood and edged closer to the hall she’d disappeared down. She was speaking softly to someone but my Alpha wolf could still hear her clearly, even from behind her closed bedroom door.
“I did what you asked. What happened from there is not my fault.” I heard her tell whoever was on the other end.
“It’s not that easy! I’ll need more time.” She sounded frustrated with whomever she was speaking to, but also a little scared.
I tried to move closer but just as I took a step a loud banging on the front door had me backing away. Fucking hell! Darcy would have been as startled by that as I was, effectively ruining my chances of getting anything useful from her mysterious conversation. I stomped toward the front door, intent on strangling whoever was pounding on it.
“Open the door, Colton! I know you’re in there!” Clay called from the other side. Fucking fantastic!
“Clay-” It was all I had a chance to get out before his right hook knocked me to the ground.
“I swear to the Goddess I’ll fucking kill you! I warned you not to hurt her again!” He growled angrily, throwing punches left and right.
I didn’t fight back, just put my hands up to block the worst of it. I deserved every blow and then some. In fact, I’d have been content to let him beat me to death if I didn’t still have Mallory’s safety to secure.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Darcy screamed, running into the room and trying to pull Clay off of me.
“You!” Clay snarled at her, pointing a finger in her face. “You’re just as bad as he is! How could you hurt her like that? She’d never do that to you!
“She could have betrayed us with Nathan at any point and we would have deserved that pain. But she never did anything to deserve it. You’re both pathetic excuses for wolves and the two of you deserve each other!”
I wanted to link my brother, to tell him the truth of what I was doing here and make him understand but I knew I couldn’t. Even if Darcy wasn’t watching my every move, it wasn’t a good idea.
Neither he nor Cary would let me see this through if they knew the truth. If they had even the slightest suspicion Darcy knew anything about Mal’s attempted kidnapping, they would torture the truth out of her. And while I wasn’t opposed to the idea, she may not know Alpha Quade’s future plans, Yet. If she could lead me to him, I could end him. Killing Darcy got us nowhere.
With that in mind, I stood to my feet and pushed Darcy behind me, protecting her in a way that I knew would enrage my brother.
“Don’t fucking talk to her that way!” I thundered, pretending to defend Darcy.
“Just go, Clay.” Darcy added, peeking out from behind me. “Colton made his choice. You don’t have to like it but you can’t come barging into my home assaulting people.”
Clay’s face was fire engine red as he worked to suppress his wolf. Gunner was right on the surface, glowering at me through Clay’s eyes and his fur pressing through Clay’s skin. It took a few more heaving breaths before he was able to force him back and speak to me with deadly calm.
“All you’ll ever have with her,” he nodded in Darcy’s direction, “is a life of misery and that’s all you deserve. Don’t let me catch you anywhere near MY mate ever again. If I do, I’ll fucking kill you myself. As it is, you’re as good as dead to me.”
Then he turned and stormed out the door, slamming it so hard it rattled the walls.