Savior Of Her Heart

Chapter 9: Ch.8/ Broken Princess

Anupama's POV:-

Do you ever feel like that your life is not worth living? Do you ever think that you are the real reason behind everyone's sorrow? Do you ever see so much hate in other people's eyes that you want to kill yourself?

I did and still have the same feeling about myself. I am the reason that my mother is not with us anymore. I am the reason why Baba has become so distant with everyone and also I am the one who brings misfortune to this family. I am not worth living but I am so much of a coward to take my own life by myself so like always I will go with the flow to see how much more is there to witness in the future. It's not like that anything can change in a span of time because it's me we are talking about who has never gotten her father's love or appreciation for a second in her life.

From childhood onwards, I have been trying to remove the tag of worthless from my head but it seems like every time I fail to do that. I have always tried my best to make everyone happy yet there is something where I am lacking behind. However, this time I will be doing the right thing to bring happiness in my father's life. I know how much his company means to him so if by sacrificing myself can bring bliss for him, then I am ready to do that. I just hope that now I can have a little place in his heart.

It's been already four days since Baba has announced my marriage with Mr. Bianchi which will be happening in the upcoming week. Today is Bijaya Dashami, the day when Goddess Durga will be returning to her house with her kids. It is also the end of this festival so every one of us is very emotional and with the moist eyes, we are preparing for the day. Apart from that, the news of my marriage has already been declared to our relatives and neighbors and everyone has come to congratulate me on my new life. Although every one of us has a smile on our faces to show our happiness but in reality, there is nothing to be happy and I know it very well.

"Anu come help me," Mamoni calls out to me breaking me from my chains of thoughts. I hurriedly go to her and see that she is having trouble with preparing Khichuri (Hotchpotch) which will be served today to all the guests.

"Let me cook it Mamoni. You go and get ready. The ladies have started to come for the sindoor khela. Thakurmaa will be angry if you don't get ready in time." I tell her taking the ladle from her hand. She tries to protest but one look from me and she is out of there.

A few moments later the Khichuri is ready so I start to make Gurer Payesh ( Rice pudding with jaggery) and Labra (mix vegetable curry). After making all the dishes I ask the maids to serve them when Thakurmaa would say. After that, I reach the pandal where everyone is busy playing Sindoor Khela which is a tradition to put sindoor (vermilion) on each other face on the morning of Bijaya Dashami. One of the aunties come towards me to put sindoor on my face but I hold her hand. Everyone is shocked seeing what I have done but how can I let someone put sindoor on me after what had happened with me.

"She is not married yet Lolita didi. Then why are you putting sindoor on her face?" Mamoni asks playfully trying to ease the tension.

"So what Mausumi? She will be married in a week so she can play with us." Saying this she puts a handful of sindoor on my face while all the ladies start to laugh. I feel tears start to come out of my eyes so I run towards my room ignoring all the calling of others. I lock the door of my room and get inside the bathroom before turning on the shower. I start to rub my face with both hands trying to get rid of the sindoor.

"I need to get this off from me. It's not for me. I am a nuisance who doesn't deserve this holy thing." I mumble myself while putting some shower gel on a lofa before rubbing it all over my face and neck. Tears and the red color has already mixed but I don't care. When I feel like my skin is burning from all the rubbing, that's when I stop. After putting on fresh clothes I come out of the bathroom to see that

Riya is sitting on my bed. I get startled by seeing her here because she never come here without the intention of hurting me.

"Come sit beside me, baby sis." She says sweetly but I know there is nothing sweet in her. Yet, I sit beside her. She looks at me for some time before nodding her head which confuse me not knowing what is going on her mind.

"I want you to go to Boro mama and tell him that you don't want to marry Mr. Bianchi." She orders me.

"But how can I do that? I never go against Baba's wish and if I don't get married to Mr. Bianchi then Baba will lose his company." I tries to reason with her but she only glares at me angrily.

"So you will not listen to me? That means you will marry the person who is mine?" She asks furiously. I lower my head in answer because I don't have any other choice and I can't fulfill her wish this time.

"Okay fine. Then I think you should also be separated from the person who you love the most." She doesn't wait for any reply before storming out of the room. I try to stop her because I don't know what she is planning to do. I run behind her but I see that she is going to the pandal so I don't go after her because I didn't want to face anyone after what has happened sometime back.

I an feeding Advira her food in my room when I hear Thakurmaa's voice, she is calling for me. So I put the plate on the nearby table before putting pillows around her for safety purposes. Again, I hear my name being called so I immediately reach downstairs because I don't want Thakurmaa to get angry with me. When I get there, I see that everyone is already present. Jasmine di is also there looking confused because she only has gone to her home a few hours back.

"Why did you come late haa? I have been calling you for so long." Thakurmaa snaps at me. I visibly flinch by seeing the anger in her eyes. Although she don't let me answer before asking me about Advira which shock me because she never likes to talk about her.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

"She is in my room," I replies timidly.

"Riya you go and get that girl." My head snaps towards Riya hearing Thakurmaa's words.

"Why?" I can't help but ask aloud while looking frantically at everyone but no one seem to know what is going on.

"How dare you question me? You just keep your mouth close. Riya go and get her." Thakurmaa replies harshly. Riya gives me a cruel smirk before she get out of there.

"What's happening in here Maa?" Baba asks.

"You have told us your decision and now it's my turn to take an important decision for my family," Thakurmaa replies. My hands start to sweat in dread because I have a feeling that there will not be anything good about her decision. I hear my baby crying while Riya come back, I tries to take her but Thakurmaa stops me by raising her hand.

"Riya give the child to Jasmine," Thkurmaa orders and Riya put Advira in Jasmine di's arms who is still confused like us.

"Jasmine you have requested Anupama to take care of this child and I let her stay here with us per your wish. But now Anupama is getting married so I don't think it will be appropriate for her to take care of a child who is not her by blood. That's why I want you to make a choice. You take away this child with you or I will have someone come from the orphanage to take her." I feel like someone has slapped me hard in the face to wake me up from the horrible dream I am having. But it's not just a dream, it's the reality.

"Are you crazy didon? Boro mama is already marrying her with someone whom she doesn't know and now you are saying that Advira can't stay with her." Dadabhai yells.

"Yes, Maa you can't do this. We all know how much Advira means to our Anu, how can you be so cruel Maa?" Kakai asks.

"I have already taken the decision and I will not change it at all. This is my house and I am not going to give any explanation to anyone." Thakurmaa replies while looking at everyone. Advira is still crying but I am helpless because I can't do anything for her. I can only cry because I know from the start that I could never keep her forever in my life.

"But didon I -" Jasmine di tries to say something but Thakurmaa doesn't let her.

"You are taking her with you or not?" Thakurmaa asks impatiently. Jasmine di looks at me and I nod my head while silently crying.

"I will take Advira with me." She replies with a sad sigh.

"Good, then take her away right now. I don't want Anupama to have any contact with this baby anymore so don't try to get smart with me." The last hope I have to see my baby again is broken at that moment.

************

There are only two days left for my wedding but like other brides, I am not feeling any happiness because the pang of separation from Advira is becoming unbearable day by day. The last time I have seen her was the day of Dashami and that's already four days ago. It seems like nothing is left for me to live anymore, I have become a living corpse who only know how to obey others. The most precious thing in my life, my Advira is no longer with me. I am missing her touch, her adorable smile, her babylike smell, her hugs. I have never thought that to fulfill my father's wish I have to sacrifice my Advira, my daughter. She may not be my blood but from the moment Jasmine di had put her in my arms, she has become my own daughter. But now I can't even hear her voice because Riya doesn't

leave any path for me. She has successfully convinced Thakurmaa that I should not have a phone because then I will be trying to contact Jasmine Di. That's why I don't have my phone and also Thakurmaa has ordered everyone not to help me.

On the other hand, Mr. Bianchi has told that the marriage will be a simple court marriage because he doesn't have time to perform any ritual. Neither Thakurmaa nor Mamoni is happy hearing that but Baba also wants the same as Mr. Bianchi so there will be a grand party where we will sign on the marriage certificate to get married. I don't even know if I should call it a marriage or not, Because marriage is a sacred bond between two souls who promise to be each other's backbone till the end. But I don't think I will ever have that bond with someone else, not even my husband whom I don't have any idea about.

"Doll," Kakai calls me.

"Yes, Kakai?" I asks him while getting up from my bed. He is standing in the doorway of my room.

"Are you busy?" Kakai asks me.

"Hmmm, no. I am just reading a book. Do you need something Kakai?" I place the book in the little bookshelf I have in the room.

"Here, take this." I see that he is giving me some paper so I curiously take it from him and open it to see that it's a painting of mine and Advira. My Kakai is a well-known painter and he has drawn a lot of pictures for me.

"Kakai this is.." I don't even know what to say. He put his hand on my shoulder in a comforting manner and wipe my tears which has become my best friend.

"You don't have to say anything. What Maa has done, is unimaginable but I can't see you always crying over Advira. No matter what, we all believe she is your daughter. Your Kakai is a failure to be your Knight in shining armor. Please forgive me doll." Kakai's voice cracks but he doesn't cry.

"You are not at fault Kakai. Everything is my destiny. So please don't think that you have failed. You and Mamoni are my parents who have been taking care of me from the start. You guys are my inspiration to do better at everything." I replies while looking at the man who is my uncle but has become a more father than my own father.

After Kakai leave I move near the window to look at the night sky which is covered in dark clouds. I take my diary from the shelf and open a particular page where I have drawn the face of someone. I run my fingers through the drawing but like always shut the diary afterward. It's been so long but still, I can't forget a thing, and I don't think I want to forget anything.