Scream For me

WESTONAll rights © NôvelDrama.Org.

I lean back in my chair after putting Daisy to bed, the city lights dancing far below. I can’t get that look that Miss Flowers gave me out of my head when she talked back to me. She’s feisty. I’d be lying if I said the thought of giving her a little lesson in respect didn’t turn me on.

My hand wanders down my abs, settling on my inner thigh as I close my eyes and imagine a very different outcome of that conversation today. Images of her bent over that desk as I pull her back onto my cock with her hair fill my brain.

Why the hell did I threaten her like that about her smart mouth? Should have kept that thought to myself.

“Fuck,” I groan, my cock already growing stiff remembering the way she trembled beneath my stare, her delicate throat constricting. I stroke myself through my pants, then stop suddenly, reminding myself that this isn’t some random woman that I can take home and never speak to again. Not only is she far too young for me, but I can’t get involved with someone so active in my daughter’s life. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure I’m the last man on earth she would think twice about letting into her bed.

I stand up, walking over to the wet bar to pour myself a few fingers of whiskey before walking to my bedroom, taking the stairs two at a time, and retreating to my bathroom to turn on my shower.

I strip out of my clothes, another image of her popping into my head from when she ran into me in Paris. The shock on her face was priceless and I had to keep myself from laughing at the way she was pawing at me to try and help. I shake my head as if that will dislodge the memory from my brain. I don’t waste time with the liquor, and I down it in two mouthfuls, the burn rushing down my throat and settling into my chest.

“Get it together,” I remind myself as I walk into the large marble shower.

The last time I felt anything more than sexual desire for someone was with my wife Mirabelle. She was one of those people who lit up a room when she entered it and I’ll forever wonder what she saw in me. It wasn’t the money or the power, things she grew to resent actually. She truly loved me and I felt it every single day… until I didn’t.

Nobody had to tell me she was falling out of love with me; I watched it happen right in front of my eyes, one day at a time, and yet I did nothing to fix it. Instead, I did what pushed her away in the first place; I buried myself even further into my work. By the time she fell ill and we realized that this rare disease had completely taken over her body, it was too late. I tried everything to save her-money, the best doctors in the world, drug trials, specialists-but in the end, none of it could save her.

Daisy was barely two years old when her mother died. It pains me every day that she’ll grow up not even remembering her. I feel the usual pit forming in my stomach that comes along with taking a walk down this memory lane. I close my eyes and let the water wash over me, praying for it to take away the guilt I still feel about all of it. I try to focus my attention back on Miss Flowers, imagining what she’d look like spread bare on my bed, but it doesn’t work. The last thing I need or deserve is a young woman I can use to try and absolve myself of my past sins.

I hurry through my shower, contemplating if I can call the nanny to come stay at the house for a few hours while I reach out to Natalie, a woman I’ve known over the years. Another woman whom I’ve used to distract myself, only she’s the one who came on to me first. We both went into it fully aware of what it was, a physical means to an end after I lost my wife and she got divorced.

This is the same routine I always do, when my feelings start to feel too real, I avoid them by preoccupying myself with pussy. I’m aware it’s unhealthy but like I tell my therapist, at least I’m self-aware. I slide my phone open, typing out a quick message to see if she’s around tonight, and hit send. No use reaching out to the nanny first if Natalie is busy. She responds almost instantly.

Natalie: For you? Always 😉

Something about her response instantly kills my mood and I don’t bother responding. It’s not even nine yet and I’m showered and in for the night, having no desire to try and distract myself with work. I pour myself another healthy glass of whiskey and turn on ESPN to catch up on the recent scores. Something else I never have time to enjoy anymore-sports.

My phone buzzes and I look down to see another text from Natalie.

Natalie: So, what’s the plan, sexy? I’m happy to come to you.

I close the screen, tossing my phone to the side, already regretting my decision to reach out to her knowing I have to face her tomorrow. I don’t know why but somewhere along our hookups, her sickly sweet attempts to seduce me do the exact opposite. Maybe I am just a jaded asshole, no longer interested in a woman who wants me back. Fucked, I know.

I try to distract myself and focus, but no matter what I do, I cannot get the image of her out of my head.

Daphne Flowers. Even her name sounds sweet and innocent like she was predestined to be a first-grade teacher.

I like her attitude and her smart mouth even though I gave her a hard time about it. I love a woman who can stand her ground, who can give as good as she gets. That was one of the many things that drew me to Mirabelle; she had a quick wit and a sharp tongue. Although the fantasies that come to mind about correcting that smart mouth of Daphne’s weren’t the same for Mirabelle. I learned early on in our relationship that she was fragile behind all that false bravado. She wasn’t open to allowing me to explore that side of myself. I respected that and honored it, my love for her and making her feel comfortable and safe with me was more important than any proclivities I had.

I close my eyes, allowing the whiskey to do its job. My mind is still fixated on Miss Flowers and whether or not she would allow me to explore that side of myself with her.

“MR. VAUGHN, Nile Logistics is here for your meeting along with your lawyers. I’ve set them up in the conference room as discussed.”

“Thank you, Loretta. Tell them I’ll be right in.”

I finish looking over my notes, something I don’t tend to hyper-fixate on before meetings because usually I’m the one being pitched to, but this deal is different. Today I’m trying to convince Nile Logistics, one of the largest transportation companies in the world, why they should sell me their shipping company. I’ve been expanding the transportation side of my empire with my airline and now I have my sights set on shipping while Nile has been looking to turn their focus more on trucking.

But that’s not why I’m uneasy. It’s because their head of acquisitions is Natalie Penner, my on-and-off flavor of the month, and I stupidly texted her last night in a whiskey-laden moment of weakness that I’m now regretting. Not to mention, I never responded to her. It would be a conflict of interest if anyone found out, one I’m sure I could navigate but I’d rather not.

“Afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,” I say as I enter the conference room, avoiding eye contact with Natalie.

“Weston,” Greg Tufft, their CEO, stands, then walks over to shake my hand with his signature elbow grab, something I’m sure he believes is a “power move.” “I can’t tell you how excited we are to finally have this meeting on the books; I know it’s been a long time in the works. Let me introduce you to everyone.” He goes around the table, introducing me to the local team as well as a few folks from New York, London, and Tokyo.

“Weston.” Natalie smiles as she approaches me with open arms, her tight shirt way too low for a work setting, but I just my hand out instead. She glances down at my hand, her arms slowly dropping. “Of course.” She gives me a playful wink. “Always a pleasure to see you. I’m so excited to talk business.”

I nod and take a seat at the head of the table, making a mental note to remind her later that things between us are over-indefinitely. I’m not about to jeopardize this deal over a quick fuck. Not to mention, with our past and how we met, it’s even more messed up and something I’ve grown to regret and resent.