Taming Mr. Black

Killian’s POV

24 years old me was the worst. I can still remember every detail like it happened last night. Every fucking detail. Of how I broke her heart, how I destroyed her. I am a monster.

How on Earth did I live with what I did? This past years I was living my life like nothing happened six years ago. How I could I just assume Anna was gone from my life for good? She did nothing to me. She cared and loved me. She cherished me, but all I did was break her heart, left and abandoned her.

And I couldn’t stop thinking about what Liam told me. How was I supposed to know Anna was gonna keep the child. That was impossible. I made sure my driver took her to the hospital and get rid of it. When he got back, he told me that Anna had gotten rid of it. He lied?

Why would Alvin lie about something like that? Alvin-fuck!

” Hey, Goldie.” I call the attention of my voice assistant.

” Yes, Mr. Black.”

” Call Alvin.”

” Sure thing, Mr. Black. Calling Alvin.”

The line rings, vibrating through my bedroom as Alvin answers the call.

” Mr. Black.”

” Be at the house ASAP.”

” Sure thing, boss.” The line clicks as I exhale through my mouth.

Fuck. What am I gonna do? Is Anna’s child still alive? Is she out there living a life she doesn’t deserve? A life without her father. What am I gonna tell Naomi? What am I supposed to tell her? That I screwed up a young girl’s life for my own selfish reasons.

I light the end of the cigarette in between my lips, inhaling the smoke into my lungs as I throw my head back and spew out the smoke through my nostrils and lips. I don’t frequently smoke. In fact, I stopped smoking a while back. But with what’s going on with my life, I’ve turned back to smoking as a coping mechanism.

I’ve never been in a situation where I don’t know what to do. I feel empty, frustrated with myself, partially ashamed, and I feel terrible. She didn’t deserve what happened to her. She killed herself because I wasn’t there when she needed someone. Gianna never had any siblings. She was an only child and her family hated her choice of career. They wanted her to be a lawyer, go to Harvard and become an attorney in the future. Gianna hated the idea. She wanted her own clothing line, and for a girl who’s basically a nerd, her sense of fashion is impressive. Her family cut off all ties with her, despite she being an only child. They believed since she couldn’t become a lawyer, then they have nothing to do with her.

She left Texas to New York to start a new life. To become her own boss and run her own fashion show and own her own clothing line. And then she met me. An asshole millionaire who cares about his company than the people in his life. I was afraid of commitment the minute Gianna started becoming comfortable. I was scared the minute she started making plans of our future and starting a family. The last thing on my mind was starting a family especially when I haven’t achieved what I’ve always wanted. And then I broke her heart because I wasn’t ready to father any child. I walked out of her life the time she needed me most.

And now she’s dead with the possibility that I might be a father. I might have a daughter. I don’t know what I’d do if it’s true. I don’t know what I would do if I truly have a daughter. I love Naomi. She’s the one woman who’s made my heart beat so fast and hard with just a smile. I want to be with her. I want to marry her and maybe in the future, I’d love to start a family with her and only her.

I don’t know what to do.

There’s a knock on the lounge door. I press the butt of the cigarette on an ash tray sitting on a coffee table as I turn around. Alvin stands by the open door, staring at me.

” You sent for me?”

I nod. ” Come in.”

Alvin nods too as he walks inside. I’ve known this man for a long time. Long enough to know I could trust him. I can’t believe he’d keep something as important as that from me. How couldn’t he tell me Anna never got rid of the child even after I gave him specific instructions to make sure the baby was aborted.

” Is everything alright?” Alvin asks.

” Why didn’t you tell me?” I turn around to ask Alvin.

He’s taken aback, surprised. I watch him contemplate. He licks his lips while blinking his eyes.

” Don’t lie to me, Alvin. I’ve trusted you for a long time and I expect you to tell me the truth.”

” I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t understand.” He feigns innocence.

I try not to roll my eyes.

” Don’t bullshit me, Alvin. I know what you did.” I glare at him as he continues to contemplate and sweat under my gaze.

” Don’t test me, Alvin.”

” She made me do it, sir.”

” She made you do it?” I scoff in disbelief. ” What? She made you lie to me?”

” She said she couldn’t do it. She pleaded that she couldn’t, that she was afraid. I didn’t know what to do.”

” I gave you simple instructions, Alvin: Take her to a hospital and make sure she gets rid of the child. And what did you do? You let her go, lied to me, and now she’s dead! Fuck, Alvin!”

” What?”

” What do you mean ‘what’? What were you expecting?”

” She said she was gonna live the city.”

” Yeah, well, she did. And she’s fucking dead. God, I cannot believe you.”

” I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know. I thought I was helping. I pleaded to her to leave me out of it, but she was in pain.”

” How did you know she was in pain? And why wouldn’t you tell me? It’s been six years, Alvin? Why the fuck did you lie?”

” She said I shouldn’t tell you. She made me a promise.”

” Fucking get out!” I yell at him.

Since Alvin started working for me, I have never yelled at him. He is like an older brother to me and he has no problem dealing with my shit. He is patient, understanding, and he knows when to care. I can’t believe he’d lie to me for literally six years. He’s been working for me, driving me around with such a huge secret. How could he live with that?

” I’m sorry, Mr. Black.” He sounds sorry and remorseful, but I don’t care.

Lying about something as huge as that is a big blow to my face.

” Just get out. And you’re suspended till further notice.”

” Mr-”

” Out, Alvin. We’re done here.”

He bows his head, nods, and turns to leave.

” Killian.” A feminine voice calls my name and I know exactly who that voice belongs to.

With a new cigarette in between my lips and the lighter already turned on, I turn around, surprised to see Naomi standing by the open lounge door.

” What’s going on? Alvin didn’t look happy when I walked past him. He just left your lounge.” She says, arms crossed underneath her breasts.

She’s dressed in work clothes, so that means she’s just getting out of work.

” He just got suspended.” I say, sighing, as I pull out the cigarette from in between my lips and toss it on the ashtray.

” Why?”

” Something happened, so I told him to take some time off till I figure out how to deal with what’s going on.”

” And what exactly is going on? And I thought you quit smoking.” She says, referring to the disgarded cigarette on the ashtray.

I lick my bottom lip as I reach for the glass of wine on the coffee table. I throw my head back and take a huge gulp. Nearly emptying the content, I drop the glass on the coffee table.

” We need to talk, Killian.”Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

I sigh, running a hand through my hair. I sit down on a couch as I gesture to the couch opposite me for Naomi to sit down.

” Yeah, we have a lot to talk about.” I say.

Naomi sits down. ” Why don’t you start with why you told my family I slipped and nearly drowned in Miami? Why didn’t you tell them the truth?”

” Fuck.”

” Killian, why did you lie to them?”

” I don’t know. I felt like the little they know, the better. I didn’t think they were ready to know what’s really happening.”

” That was for me to decide, Killian. They’re my family, they deserve to know what really happened.”

” I know, I’m sorry. I fucked up, and I’m sorry.”

” Right.” She sighs. ” Is there something else you wanna talk about? Something about what this is about? You need to talk to me, Killian. Look, I’m tired of being in the dark. We can’t be in a relationship and you go about and lie about little stuff. I can handle myself. I need to know what’s going on right now or I’m out of here and I’m not coming back.” Is she seriously giving me the break-up card?

I stand up, slip my hands inside my pants pockets as I begin to pace around.

I saw this coming. I knew sooner or later, she was gonna walk out of my life and never come back. But I can’t. I can’t watch her walk away after she’d stolen my heart.

” I did something.” I begin.

” I’m listening.”

” Before I tell you this, I want you to know something. Before you, I was reckless. I did stupid shit that I didn’t even regret. I was selfish, conceited, you name it. To put it lightly, I was a jerk. I didn’t care about anything or anyone, but then you…” I sigh. ” You walked into my life and everything changed. You changed me, Naomi, and I’ve never been grateful. I don’t deserve you, but I’m trying to be a better man for you.”

Naomi’s quiet as she stares at me. Her eyes water a little. She blinks the tears away and looks away.

” Are you expecting a baby?” She asks.

Fuck. She knows. I bet that bitch told her.

” I don’t know.”

” Then what?”

” Six years ago, I met someone. Her name was Gianna Haines. We met in a fashion show, then later in a charity event and that’s how it kicked off. We started dating. She was great, she was nice, pure, beautiful. She was everything I wasn’t, but for some reason we worked out, even if it was for a short period of time. She got pregnant, I got her pregnant and I didn’t know about it. She didn’t tell me. The day I wanted to break up with her was the day she told me she was 4 weeks pregnant. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to be anybody’s father, so I told her she was gonna get rid of it.” I pause, afraid to look Naomi in the eye.

” Oh my God.”

” I know. I feel shitty each time I think about it. Gianna refused, she wanted the baby. We had a fight and I told her she was getting rid of it whether she liked it or not. Also, she deserved better, and that wasn’t me. I was anything but good for her. I told Alvin to pick her up and take her to the hospital and make sure the baby was aborted.”

” How could you do that, Killian? How could you do that to her?”

” Yeah. I wasn’t thinking. I just didn’t care if anything happened. I was just glad I didn’t have to be anybody’s father then, especially a child I didn’t want. I cared about her, I guess I didn’t care enough to think about her feelings.”

” Where’s Gianna now?”

” Before you started receiving messages from Lily Sanders, she messaged me first. I didn’t tell you the whole truth concerning Lily Sanders. About a month ago, I got this envelope. Inside contained a letter, a positive pregnancy test kit, ultra sound, and even pregnancy test results. I was scared. I thought it was some chick who was trying to ruin my company with pregnancy rumors. It turned out to be someone named Lily Sanders. She kept sending me warning letters, and she threatened to hurt you. I wanted to tell you, I swear, I just didn’t know how to tell you. I was afraid you were gonna leave.”

” Oh my God.” Naomi leans forward, with her elbows on her knees as she runs both her hands through her hair.

” After Keith’s wedding, this private investigator that I hired took us to a house Lily Sanders was supposedly sending the letters from. It turns out, it was Lily’s own plot. We found a baby’s picture, did more investigation and we discovered that, Gianna Haines lived in that apartment with her baby.”

” What?”

” Yeah. She lived there with her baby. She had the baby. Alvin lied and I didn’t know until recently.”

” And where are they now?”

” According to my PI, Gianna named the baby Lilianna Sanders, the baby took her father’s name as her last name. Eight months after Lilianna was born, she died of a strange illness and I guess Gianna couldn’t save the baby. Two months later, Gianna took her own life, jumped into a lake and her body was discovered a few days later.”

Naomi is speechless as she stands up.

” She’s dead?”

” Yeah. And I guess I caused that. Now there’s a psychotic woman running around claiming to be Gianna’s late daughter and threatening our lives.”

Naomi opens her mouth to speak, but she closes it.

” I’m sorry, babe.” I whisper as I take a step forward.

” Stay the fuck away from me!” She yells. “How could something like this be happening and then you lie about it? You thought you couldn’t tell me, because?”

I’m speechless. I can’t look her in the eye, instead I look anywhere else but her.

” Babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to say. I was afraid of hurting you.”

” Well, hell, you’re doing a good job at that then.” Naomi says, blinking her eyes as she wipes the corners of her eyes.

” I have regrets every day. I guess she died because of me, but I don’t wanna lose you. I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I kept the truth from you, I just didn’t know how to tell you that someone might be pregnant for me or that I had a child.”

” God, can you be more selfish than you already are? Maybe, you should stop for a second and think about anyone but yourself. You’ve been lying to me for weeks even when I expected you to tell me what is really going on. I expected more from you, Killian, but all you’ve done is ruin everything. Maybe we should take a break.”

” You can’t do this.”

” Well, I’m doing this. I need some time to think, Killian, and I can’t do that around you.”

” I love you, babe, and I’m sorry. I am trying to fix this.”

” How? How, Killian? There’s a dead girl out there who may or may not have a child for you. And there’s this psycho bitch who’s trying to kill you because you hurt her. I can’t do this. I can’t. I need a break and I need room to think. Maybe it’s time I try to find and stop whoever it is that is trying to kill me for no fucking reason. And I’m gonna try and do that without you.”

” Naomi, please.”

” I can’t think around you right now, Killian. So please, I’m begging you to give me space to think. We need a break. I need a break, from all of this.” Naomi says as she grabs her bag and turns to leave.

” Babe, come on.” I plead.

” Stay away from me.” She says as she leaves in a hurry.

I stand there, feeling shittier than I already feel. God, what have I done?