The Alpha Can’t Sense His Mate

ZADOK

I wore my dress shirt as I prepared to address my people.

It’s been three years since I returned. I never reached out to my people or attempted to associate with them.

Today was the end. The end of my string of wickedness to my people and the start of a new dawn in the Blood Hound pack.

For seven days, I let myself mourn like I should have been for the past three years. I let out all the pains locked in my heart and sought for myself like a pin in a haystack.

Hearing the message from Ithra was the wake-up call I didn’t think I needed. I didn’t realise how much I had disappointed myself, my people, and Ithra with my actions over the past few years.

I was selfish. Blinded by my pain, I ignored the suffering of everyone else. I had lost my mate and instead of taking it like the strong wolf I was supposed to be, I sent others to their death with a ridiculous mission to find someone who was dead.

My heart hurt not only for her death, but for what her death made me, and what it cost my people. The worst part of it was that I had ignored my wolf.

For a long time, I believed Kir left me alone as a result of her death. I thought I lost him because I had lost his mate by my careless actions, but during my week of self-reflection, agony, and pain, I realised I was wrong.

Kir never left me. It was the other way around. Unknown to me, I had unconsciously shut him out of my life, so much so that he couldn’t reach out to me anymore. I had unintentionally put up an impenetrable wall between us as I mourned the loss of Ithra.

I abandoned him when he needed me the most. I abandoned him, forgetting that I wasn’t the only one who lost a mate.

Thankfully, I was able to settle it with him in the past few days. For the first time in three years, I let him have the power, and while I grieved, I let him grieve too.

As a result of being so out of sync, I was still having a tough time developing our relationship to what it used to be. He still hadn’t said a word to me, but unlike before, I could feel his presence.

I wondered if we were ever going to get through this, and a part of me worried if I was ever going to hear his voice again.

I shook off the dark cloud around me, forcing my mind out of the murky waters. I couldn’t continue with these self-deprecating thoughts. I had a people to rule, who were awaiting my presence.

It was time I placed the needs of my people first. And to do that, I needed to get clean with them.

******

“Alpha,” Azriel said with a bow, and I nodded in approval. “The people are in the training ground, awaiting your presence.”

“Thank you, Azriel.” I said, “You’ve done an amazing job and I’m glad I chose you to be my beta.”

Azriel appeared short for words. I didn’t blame him. I wasn’t in the habit of complimenting people. especially him.

“Thank you.” He finally spoke and without a word, led me to the podium, where my people were gathered below.

I climbed the podium, and with one look, I realised just how few we had become. We used to count thousands and thousands of people in the Blood Hound pack, but now, we were but a few hundred.

The stench of fear filled the air as soon as I climbed the podium. The revered looks that were once on their face whenever they looked at me were reduced to hollow and lean looks.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

My people had become a shadow of themselves and it was all thanks to me. There and then, I came full circle and my heart broke in half.

I fell to my knees, holding my heart and sounds of shocked gasps filled the air. I could feel concern ooze from the people, and immediately, I felt their emotions and thoughts flood my mind.

“What is wrong with the alpha?”

“Someone help him!”

“He doesn’t look too good, he’s lost a bit of weight.”

“Oh dear, he must be in terrible shape from the death of our Luna!”

These and many more concealed thoughts flooded into my head, and my heart squeezed in pain.

Despite the horrors I put them through, taking their males to fight for a lost cause, they still cared about me.

That realisation was my undoing. I bowed my head, and in front of my people, I cried till I couldn’t anymore.

Azriel appeared by my side in seconds, kneeling by my side, and patting my back in solidarity.

His act only squeezed my heart further and I cried even harder – unashamed of my public show of weakness.

One after the other, my people got on their knees, and together we cried, mourning our loss – The loss of my mate, and their luna.

After several minutes, I got on my feet, and my heart was relieved. I felt full of love from my people, and at that moment, Kir came forward, taking fifty per cent control, as he watched his people, kneel in solidarity with him.

“Rise.” He said in my mind, and while I was still reeling from the shock of hearing him speak, I watched as the people rose from their knees, with their heads bowed.

Then I realised he used the mind link to talk to the entire wolves of Blood Hound pack. Suddenly I understood why I could now hear their thoughts and feel their emotions.

I had shut off the pack’s communal mind unknown to me, during my years of agony.

“Alpha Kir.” They chorused in unison, and I felt a power, more than ever before consume my being.

A wave of Alpha power filled the air and my people returned to their knees, suppressed by the sheer power that flowed from me.

I made to reduce the hardness of it all, but Kir beat me to it. Within seconds, the suppressing power in the air was replaced by comfort.

Kir was using his alpha aura to comfort the people!