Chapter 55
Chapter 55
Chapter 55
***Chastity***
So far my weekend had turned out a lot better than I expected. Originally I thought I would spend it alone. Norm, and Marcus were going to see Norm’s family Saturday morning then to meet Lexi at that pack house for her brother Darren’s birthday party. Lexi was going over earlier the help her mom set up for the party The only plans I had was my meeting with Luna Clair, which I had expected to be canceled due the to party.
I was really surprised when Lexi invited me to go help set up, then attend the party, as a guest not a server or anything like that. Of course that invitation, extended to me Friday morning, instigated Norm’s need to shop as we all had to have the perfect outfits. Friday following Anatomy class we spent in the department store searching for just the right thing. We butted heads a few times when he tried to get me into a short skirt, halter top, and 4 inch heels. That was NOT happening. We finally settled on a dark blue, thick strap lace embellished top with a sheer button down, gray slacks, and black flats. He wasn’t thrilled, but I was comfortable so he let it go.
Our shopping trip almost made us late for self defense class where Matt was moody, and snappy the whole time. I didn’t know what his issue was so I just focused on my exercises. We ended the day with a dinner, and a run out behind campus. Finding out Rowen, Jax, Dimitri, and Alpha Joseph were going to visit me on Sunday had also made me very happy.
Saturday morning Lexi, and I headed over to the pack house to help set up. I was happy to find it wasn’t just us setting up. There were other people helping. It was a nice change from what I was used to. According to Lexi it wasn’t going to be a huge party as her brother didn’t like big productions for himself. The party was set up in the Gamma living quarters in the pack house. It wasn’t a huge space, but his mom wanted it to look party like even though they weren’t having a huge group.
I felt for Lexi when we found out Anthony, and Heather planned to stop in for a bit. She surprised me when she only shrugged at the news, and finished decorating the cake for her brother. She said she couldn’t cook, but she could bake, and decorate like nobody’s business. She wasn’t wrong about that. The cake was beautiful. She made a perfect wolf out of modeling chocolate, and set it in the middle of a 3D looking field that she created out of green icing, with small white flowers scattered through out the green. I was very impressed, and a little jealous of her skills. She promised to teach me though.
At 12:00 Alpha Robert, his mate Beth, and his parents arrived. The Beta family came in too. We all laughed when Norm made a big dramatic entrance. Darren was actually one of the last to arrive at his own party. Lexi told me he always did that. He said it made greeting everyone easier because he could. say one big hello. The other people to make a big production out of their arrival were Heather, and Anthony. Part of me felt bad that most people ignored them, the other part wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of their entrance.
Heather actually called out “Tada we have arrived let the party really begin”, while Anthony smirked. Who walks into another person’s party like that? It seemed very strange to me. Heather sulked for awhile after most people ignored her I felt bad for her for that, and even tried to speak to her, but she just huffed at me, and walked away After that I stuck to my friends Especially since Lexi had asked Norm, and I to try to stay close incase she had an issue with Anthony Thankfully he left her alone Heather tried to approach her once, but backed off when Darren glared at her Darren did love his cake, and spent an hour praising Lexi for it.
When the party finally ended I helped clean up then sat with Luna Clair in her office for our meeting She surprised me with my own copy of her Luna Bible Apparently she took my suggestion to her mother in law, and the woman ran with it. The first copy she made was mine. She said her mother in law was contacting every Luna in the country to ask if they wanted a copy
After sharing that news with me we began my Luna training. We spent the next hour going over the first section of the book. It all seemed pretty simple. It mostly covered proper etiquette for different situation.
That included how to address others, and the best ways to bring up difficult discussions. It was a lot, but all in all very helpful. I was thankful for what I was learning, even if Rowen ended up rejecting met someday, this information would still be useful. Lexi, and I ended up spending most of our evening with her family. We didn’t get back to the our rooms at school until kind of late..
Now it was Sunday morning, and I was excited for my visitors to arrive. I spent most of my morning making sure I was ready for the two new classes I was starting the next day. I was just finishing up when I realized I was missing a book our instructor added at the last minute. I glanced at the clock to see I had enough time to go get it, and get to the Admin office to meet Rowen, Jax, Dimitri, and Alpha Joseph.
I decided I wanted work with Lilac a bit more wearing her harness so I woke up the sleeping kitten. Of course she glared at me, and spit at me as that was all she could manage. That always made me, and Leila giggle. Once Lilac was ready to go, I grabbed my purse, and left the room. At first I let Lilac down to see if she would walk with me on her own, but she was not having that. Instead of pulling her or anything. I simply picked her up. She quickly found her way to my shoulder, like always, and perched herself there.
People in the building were getting used to seeing me with her. The males avoided me when I had her, but one or two females would usually come say hi. Today was different though. The second, and third year students were finalizing their check in, and getting settled so the halls were pretty busy. I had completely forgotten about that so it shocked me to see the halls so busy. I did my best to stay out of everyone’s way. Once I was out of the building I headed straight to the front building thinking I would take Lilac to meet Danielle as she adored my kitten. When I entered the building I changed my mind. She looked very busy.
Unfortunately so was the book store. I should have expected that though. Thankfully most of the people seemed to be in the scrubs section, or at the register. I eventually made my way to the section I thought the book I needed was in. I was looking through the books when someone reached over my head. I
ducked quickly, and turned. Lilac dug her little claws into my skin, but I ignored it. I came face to face with a tall girl with green dyed hair, and a piercing in her nose. She didn’t even acknowledge me at first. After I shook off the trembles her movement caused me, I noticed the book she was holding. It was the same one I had been looking for.
“Ummm…uh….I….I hate to bother you, but….umm..” I stuttered out, and she finally looked at me.
“What? Spit it out?” She snapped.
“I’m sorry. Can you grab me a copy of that book please? I’m too short to reach it.” I said quietly, looking
down.
“Fine. Here.” She grumbled, and slapped the book against my chest.
“Thank….thank you.”
“Yeah. Whatever. Speak up next time Omega.”
I pinched brow, and looked up at her. For the first time ever I was angry at being called Omega. I was tired of it. I try to be nice to others, but I can’t get the same respect.
“Excuse me! Did I do something to you for you to be rude to me?” I glared at her.
She pinched her brow at me. I glared right back.
“I was calm, nice, and respectful when asking you for help. You were not in return. You snapped at me, and slammed this book into my chest all because I was nervous about bothering another person. You don’t know me, or why I would be uncomfortable addressing a stranger, but instead of being even slightly. kind, you were the opposite. Whatever you’re issue is today I hope it gets better quickly. Thank you again
for the book. Have a nice day.” I said, turned, and walked away.
Leila was chuckling in my head, and telling me I did well. Lilac settled down low on my shoulder. I guess she didn’t like crowds any more than I did, and there were a lot of people in line here. I was glancing around at the racks around me when I spotted a pretty pen that matched my journal. After some consideration I grabbed three of them, and smiled to myself.
“I…uh….sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to be rude. I just didn’t think. It’s been kind of shit day, and I took it out on you.” I heard a voice say from behind me.
I turned to see the green haired girl standing directly behind me. I gave her a small smile, and nodded.
“Thank you. I accept your apology.” I said still smiling.
“Thanks. I’ve never had anyone call me on my shit before. You’re pretty brave to do so. Most people just
avoid me.” She said.
“Not brave, just tired of being talked down to.” I shrugged.
“Happens a lot to you?”
“You could say that.” Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.
I wasn’t getting into my history here and now. Besides she didn’t need to know.
“Millie.” She finally said.
“Chastity.” I responded. “Can I say something without offending you?”
“Sure.”
“If you want to be a nurse, you might want to learn to be careful with getting annoyed with people.”
“A nurse? Oh goddess no. I couldn’t handle being a nurse. I have enough trouble being nice to the people I, do like. No way can I be nice to strangers all of the time. I’m going to school to be a mortician.”
“A mortician?”
“Yeah. Prepping dead people for funeral rights.”
“I know what a mortician is. I didn’t realize that was an option for nursing school.”
“Oh no. I’m going to the medical school. Cloverland and Dellany medical school are both here. That’s why the place is so big. They’re training doctors as well.”
“Oh. That makes sense.”
“Yeah. Cute kitten by the way. How did you train her to sit on your shoulder like that?”
“Thanks. This is Lilac. I didn’t train her, she just seems to prefer to be up there, especially if I’m walking
around.”
“Lilac huh?”
“Yeah. My wolf said she smells like Lilacs so…
“Ah. Yeah. My wolf named my ferret Clover. Did you get her from the playground?”
“You have a ferret? They are strange creatures. Oh and yeah I got her from the playground. Bandit helped.”
“Bandit helped me with Clover too. Ferrets are weird, but she works for me. Can I ask you what you’re seeing Dee-Dee for?
“Ok. I was attacked in a human city. They call it a mugging. I got shot three times. Thank goddess they weren’t silver bullets.”
“Oh my! Are you ok?”
“Yeah. Messed me up for a long time though, and made me pretty angry at all humans for a long time.”
“I’m sure.”
“So what about you?”
“Years of abuse at the hands of a few females in my pack.”
“Oh damn.”
“Yeah.”
Finally we reached the front of the line, and the cashier was waiting on me. I turned to Millie, and smiled at her.
“It was nice talking to you Millie. Good luck.” I said.
“See you around munchkin. Good luck to you too.” Millie responded.
Once I finished up in the book store I checked the time, and saw a text message from Rowen saying they would be there any minute. I moved to just outside the Admin Office to wait for them. I was scratching under Lilacs chin when I spotted Rowen’s blond hair, and a smile broke out across my face. They made it. I didn’t even have to move when I heard my name called.
“CHASTITY!” It was Jax, and he was trying to get through the crowd quickly.
I giggled at the annoyance on his face at being held up. When he finally got through to me, he was about to give me a hug when he saw Lilac. He made a funny face which made me giggle even more. His face changed instantly into a bright smile.
“Hi pip-squeak.” Jax said.
“Hi Jax. Lets get all of your passes so we can go to lunch, and I can show you around.” I said as Rowen, Dimitri, and Alpha Joseph reached me.
Each gave me a one arm squeeze to avoid Lilac. I tried to not laugh as she watched each one carefully. “Chastity, I need to head over to the pack house. I have a meeting with Alpha Robert, and his father about what happened this weekend at Cedar Grove pack.” Alpha Joseph explained.
“Oh. What happened at Cedar Grove?” I asked.
“I’ll tell you at lunch sweet girl.” Rowen said as he took hold of my hand.
“Ok. I hope your meeting goes well Alpha.” I responded with a smile.
“I do too Chastity. Enjoy your visit. I know these three have been excited to get here. By the way, cute kitten.” Alpha Joseph smiled before turning, and leaving.
“It might take a bit to get your passes because of the rest of the students are checking in today.” I explained.
“That’s ok. We don’t mind waiting.” Jax said.
“May I pet Lilac?” Dimitri asked.
“Of course. Let her sniff your fingers first though.” I answered.
While we waited in line we chatted, and eventually even Jax pet Lilac. I found it funny when she decided
to get on Rowen’s shoulder as she literally climbed up his arm to get there. By the time we reached Danielle, Lilac was sitting like a queen on Rowen. Danielle gushed over the cuteness as she handed over the passes. We left the Admin building as quickly as possible after that.
“I sent a text to let Lexi, and Norm know we’re finally done in there. They’re going to meet us in the cafeteria, but I have to take Lilac back to my room first. She’s not allowed where they serve food.” I explained.
“I’ll go with you Chastity.” Rowen offered, and I nodded.
We left Dimitri, and Jax as we made our way to my room. He took my hand and followed me up. We had to weave a bit between people, and boxes, but eventually made it. I was just taking off Lilac’s harness when I felt Rowen’s hands on my waist from behind, and he was sniffing my neck.
“Rowen, are you ok?” I squeaked.
“I….I am now. It’s been a stressful couple of days. Can I just hold you for a minute please?” Rowen whispered into my neck, making me shiver.
“Y…yes.” I stuttered.
I heard him mumble thank you, and stood quietly as he pulled my back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and breathed me in. Eventually I moved my hands to rest on his arms, and found myself relaxing. After a few minutes, he kissed my cheek, and stepped back, releasing me.
“Thank you sweet girl. I know being touched isn’t easy for you, nor always comfortable, but thank you allowing me to hold you for a minute. I needed that.” Rowen said quietly.
“What happened?” I asked as I turned to him.
“A lot happened at Cedar Grove. None of it good. We’ll tell you at lunch. Ok?”
for
I only nodded, and we left my room, with him holding my hand. He stayed quiet, and close the whole walk. I thought about what he said about my being uncomfortable being touched. As a general rule I was, but for some reason I wasn’t uncomfortable with his touch. I enjoyed his touch, and the sparks it caused. His touch was comforting, and calming. Leila whispered to me that it was supposed to be because he is my mate. That I would eventually get used to touch from others. I kind of hoped she was right.
We easily found Dimitri, and Jax in the lobby then we went in search of Lexi, Norm, and Marcus. The cafeteria was crowded, but we eventually found Lexi, and Norm as he was bouncing up and down in excitement. Once everyone greeted each other we took our seats.
“No Marcus today?” I asked, looking around for him.
“No. He was called for last minute patrol duty. One of his unit member’s mate has a pup on the mate went into labor.” Norm pouted.
“Why are you so sad about that? A new pup is exciting.” I said happily.
way. His
“I know, it’s just that with the rest of our classes starting this week I’ll have less time with my mate after today.”
“It could be worse.”
“No it….yeah. You’re right. Sorry.”
“It’s alright.”
“Are you excited to start the rest of your classes pip-squeak.” Jax asked.
“Yes. Anatomy is interesting, but I’m ready to start learning more about my specialty.” I answered.
“You’ll do wonderfully Chastity.” Dimitri said proudly.
“Thank you.” I smiled at him.
“Don’t forget what Joe asked you to do for us while you’re at it, please.”
“I definitely won’t. I’ll start looking as I advance in my classes.”
“What did you Alpha ask of you, Chas?” Lexi asked.
“He asked me to see if I can find a few potential midwives interested in moving to our pack. We only have one, and with how big our pack is, we need at least 2 if not 3.” I explained.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Hmmm.”
“What are you thinking?”
“Well you know I haven’t decided on my specialty yet. Maybe I’ll look into it.”
“That would be wonderful.”
“I have a week to consider it, and I will.”
“So you’ll leave me here, alone?” Norm whined.
“You won’t be alone sugar pop. You have Marcus, and your family. Besides we’re only 4 hours away. We also still have 3 years.” Lexi giggled to which Norm hummed.
“Sweet girl, what would you like to eat?” Rowen asked.
“Oh. I’ll go up with you so we can use my meal plan.” I responded preparing to stand up.
“Nope. Sit. I’ll get it. What do you want?”
“Umm. A grilled chicken sandwich with lettuce, and creamy honey mustard please.”
“Would you like fries?”
“Yes please.”
“No problem.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you happy here?” Jax asked me quietly.
“Yeah. I am.” I responded with a smile.
“….don’t be mad at Rowen, but he told me what happened last week. I just want to make sure you’re ok.”
“I have good days, and bad days. Dee-Dee said I’ll have a lot of ups, and downs for awhile. She said the best thing to do is be willing to rely on my support system, and not to make any major decisions on
my bad days.”
“Well we’re all here for you. Always.”
“Thank you Jax.”
“Of course pip-squeak. By the way Molly wants to know when she, and Mel can come for visit.”
“Any weekend.”
“I’ll let her know.”
Rowen returned to the table with Dimitri, Lexi, and Norm. Once every one had their food we dug in. Rowen of course, took hold of my hand as he ate. Like always the food was very good.
“I thought your Alpha was supposed to join you today?” Lexi questioned.
“He ended up having a meeting with your Alpha about what happened at Cedar Grove the last couple of days. He felt that they should be aware of the situation before Alpha Robert goes there tomorrow.” Dimitri answered.
“What happened?” Norm asked.
Rowen sat back, sighed, and ran his hands down his face. “They tried to trap me.”
“What…..what does that mean? What did they do?” I questioned, confused.
With a groan Rowen told us everything that happened while they were at Cedar Grove. I found that the more he talked the more upset I got. I was also feeling very possessive. A feeling I wasn’t used to. When he was done, I was glaring.
“So what now? You reject me, and move on with her?” I snapped.
“What? No! Hell no!” Rowen defended.
“Did you even tell them about me?”
“Yes. Several times.”
“Are you’re trying to tell me they didn’t care or what?”
“Chastity, they didn’t. They had a skewed belief of fated mates. They think fated mates are antiquated, and bull.” Jax said gently.
“Well I guess you fit right with them since you believed an Omega is too weak.” I snapped.
“Chastity, that’s not true! Not at all. Did I believe that at one point, yes, but I learned quickly I was wrong. That I didn’t know what I was talking about. I’ve told you this.” Rowen said gently.
“And I’m just supposed to believe what you say now after what you said the first time you saw me?”
“Chastity, please. I’ve done everything I can to show you I was wrong, and I made a mistake.”
“You keep saying that, but now some she-wolf who is better than me is throwing herself at you. She was ready to accept you. You can’t tell me you didn’t even consider it. She was everything I’m not.”
“You’re only right about one thing. She is everything you are not…..”
“See!”
“LET ME FINISH! She is not even half of the person you are. She is spoiled, selfish, uncaring, empty headed, and foolish. She is everything I would NEVER want in a mate. You are kind, caring, supportive, intelligent, and gorgeous! There wasn’t even one second that I considered her over you! Not one! You are all I want! You were all I thought about while I was there. You are all I think about all of the time!”
“Is that why you didn’t call me last night because you were too busy thinking about me or was it because you’re lying, and were really with her?”
“Chastity! I promise you he was not with her. I was with him the pretty much the whole time. Last night he slept in his father’s room, and we left earlier this morning! He was never, ever any where alone with her. He would never do that to you” Jax stated
“Of course you’ll cover for him. He’s your best friend, and you’re Alpha.” I snapped.
“But you’re my sister. You always come first, and I would never lie to you. Especially about something like that. I would never stand by while he did something like that, nor would I ever lie to you about it.”
“I don’t want to hear it. Just go home. I don’t want to be around him any more. Or better yet take him back to her.”
I stormed out of the cafeteria, and the building. I had heard someone calling my name, but I ignored them, and kept walking. Leila kept trying to talk to me. To get me to go back, and apologize. To think through all he had said, but I blocked her out. Eventually I found a boulder in the campus woods, and sat down.
I rubbed my hands over my face when I realized I was crying. I stared at nothing for awhile, and let my emotions, and turmoil run down my face. I didn’t even know why I was crying. I whipped my head to the right when I heard a twig snap. I saw Dimitri standing there, just watching me. I slumped my shoulders, and curled into my self a bit.
“Chastity.” He said softly.
I looked back at him, and sobbed.
“Can I sit?” He asked, and I only nodded.
He sat beside me quietly for some time before he sighed.
“Those were some big emotions for someone who wanted to reject him just days ago.” He whispered.
“How did you….” I started.
“Dee-Dee. You gave her permission to talk to me if you said or did something that worried her.”
“Oh. Right.”
“Can I ask what you’re really mad about because I don’t think it’s really anything he did?”
“He had another…”
“He turned down another girl sweetheart. Repeatedly. Every time she tried to flirt with him, or tried to get him to spend time with her, he turned her down. He kept Jax with him from the minute we arrived there: The one time Jax wasn’t there warrior Blake was. Jax even slept on his couch the first night. The second night he slept on Joe’s couch.”
“But how do you know he didn’t sneak out either of those times?”
“Because Joe or Jax would have woken up, but if you need real proof, let me ask you something.”
“OK.”
“In the last two days did you feel any pain or did Leila get upset?”
“Pain where?”
“In your stomach and your heart?”
“N…no. And Leila was calm the whole time. Why?”
“Because when a mate cheats, the one being cheated on feels debilitating pain in the stomach, and heart. Along with that the wolf of the one being cheated on becomes very restless, and upset. A simple brush of a hand or something won’t cause that, but anything intimate beyond a hug can, and does harm the other party, badly.”
“Oh.”
“You, and Leila experienced none of that so that should tell you something.”
“Yeah, but who’s to say he didn’t consider it.”
“The moment we arrived Rowen knew something was off, and was insistent that he not be left alone at any time during our visit. He also made sure, or at least tried to make sure the only people able to go into his room was those of us from our pack.”
“Then how did she get in his room?”
“I think you may have stopped listening. She gave Blake a sleeping potion in his food. The four of us had gone out to dinner after the disaster of a meeting with Marvin.”
“But why would she?”
“It’s the oldest trick in the book. Female sneaks into a high rank male’s room, gets him to have sex with her than cries foul in the morning with her parents, and pack who in turn attempt to force the male to take her as a chosen mate.”
“That’s….that’s terrible.”
“Yes it is.”
“How do you know he didn’t arrange for her to be there though?”
“Chastity, he had no opportunity to do so. He also would NEVER do that to you. He loves you too much to do that, and risk losing you”
“Then why did she do it?”
“If I had to guess, because Marvin put her up to it. Rowen had already informed Marvin he absolutely would not accept her. That he had you, and you are so much more than Bianca is or will ever be. Marvin. decided to try to get what he wanted another way, and Bianca agreed to it.”
“I’m just not believing that. I’m sorry, but I’m not ”
“Chastity, I swear on your mother that he did not, and would never do something like that. He will never hurt you. He wants only you.”
“….I just…..”
“You know what I think?”
“What?”
“I think that you’re mad about something else. I also think that you’re trying to find a way to push him away. Trying to justify pushing him away. The questions are, what are you really upset about, and why are you trying to push him away.”
“I’m not. I just…..”
I got up off the boulder, and started pacing. Of course I was mad at him. He was the reason, and she would be perfect for him. I wasn’t. If he stayed with me things like this would keep happening, and eventually he would finally see the truth. He would choose that she-wolf over me. I knew it. He needed to just let me go so I never had to deal with this kind of thing again. Even if we mated, and marked
each other it would happen, and some she-wolf that was better than me would finally pull him away. I didn’t want to go through that pain. Now or ever.
“It’s going to keep happening. This won’t be the only time. He’ll always have this, and eventually he’ll fall for a she-wolf who is right for him. He’ll see what I keep saying. He’ll finally walk away. He’ll hurt me worse than anyone ever has. In ways no one ever has before. I don’t want to deal with that. I can’t deal with it.” I rambled.
“I can understand that worry, but I can tell you that while she-wolves may throw themselves at him, he will never falter from you.” Dimitri said gently.
“YOU DON’T KNOW THAT!” I screamed.
“But I do sweetheart. Do you know who are the most loyal partners in the world?”
“No.”
“Alphas, Betas, and Gammas. We are bred to be, raised to be, and we are.”
“Yeah right.”
“I’m serious. We have to be for our pack. Our pack’s strength requires the absolute loyalty of our leaders. If our pack doesn’t see our loyalty to them, how can they be loyal to us. Our very job is to do what is in the best interest of our pack, no matter what. The only person who comes before that is our mate. We show our people our loyalty by showing our loyalty to our mate, every single day. We are our mate’s home, security, comfort, and biggest protector. As our mates are also our home, comfort, support, and voice of reason. Losing that is akin to losing everything. We won’t risk that. Yes there are some wolves in the world who are selfish, and do not care how they harm their mates, but Alphas, Betas, and Gammas are not like that. Not ever.”
“And you think Rowen would be the same?”
“My dear girl, I know he would. With you gone here, now would be the perfect time for him to do as he pleases with any female he wants, but he doesn’t even look their way. He is blind to them, or sees them as an annoyance. Bianca is not the only one he has turned away, and sadly she won’t be the last. She is just the worst. Do you realize that at Jax, and Molly’s ceremony you were the ONLY person he danced with other than Molly, and Gina? Plenty asked, but he refuse. He danced with Molly because they are friends, and Gina, well she is his sister. He had to. He spent the whole evening watching you dance with all of us. He only had eyes for you. Even now he only has eyes for you. The thing is that it will go both ways, and it is possible it already has, but you do not realize it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Chastity, there are males here that I saw watching your every move today. You may not see it, and you may hide in some over sized clothes, but you are a beautiful young lady. They see it, and they are drawn to it. There are males that will probably approach you with interest. Rowen will have the same feelings of jealousy, and possessiveness when this happens. You will not be the only one experiencing this.”
“No. That’s not true. No one sees me.”
“Come here sweetheart.” Dimitri patted the spot next to him, and I finally sat back down.
“What?”
“You, my
dear girl are beautiful. Inside, and out. Since you have gotten here you have become even more beautiful. You were gaining the weight you should have always had before you left. In only two weeks you have gained enough to look healthy, and you are slowly gaining muscle where you should. Yes you
will always be on the smaller side, but that does not make you any less beautiful. On top of being beautiful on the outside, sweetheart you are gorgeous on the inside as well. You are kind, caring, respectful, supportive, and so loving. Those qualities roll out of you in ways that draw people to you. Males see you, they feel that, and all they want is to be with you.”
“I…but…”
“Baby girl, I know you don’t see it right now, but some day you will. When you have reached a point in your healing where the positive feelings out weigh the negative you will find yourself surrounded by males. trying to catch your attention because of WHO you are. For Rowen it will be different.”
“How is that?”
“Females throw themselves at him for what he looks like, and for WHAT he is. They know nothing of WHO he is as a person. They only see his rank, and want that. As his mate you will always see Rowen for WHO he is, not WHAT he is. That right there is one of the bigger reasons Rowen will ALWAYS choose you over anyone else.”
“Why is that?”
“Because a male, at the core of him wants to be seen for more than his title, for more than what his title can earn a female. Bianca only saw him as an Alpha who could take over her pack, and make her a Luna. She knew nothing of who he was beyond that. Same with Fiona. Neither knew him as a person, nor did they care. He could have been a murderer for all they cared, as long as they got to be Luna that’s all that mattered to them. You don’t see him for what he can give you. The power being with him would provide you. Yes you had fear of him because of what he is, but do you fear Rowen as a person?”
“N…no.”
“Exactly because you know he is more than that. You know that he is kind to you, supportive of you, intelligent, he is helpful to you when you need him most, he is respectful of your needs, and he loves you. You see him for those things, not that he is an Alpha, am I right?”
“Y…yes.”
“Exactly. That right there is what will keep Rowen from ever straying from you because you see him not his rank. Those females are not worth his time, and he knows it. And yes you do deserve that. You deserve the best, and I honestly believe Rowen is the best for you. He proves that every single moment of every single day. As he works with his dad he is always wondering if the choices he is making are things you would agree with, and would they make you happy and proud of him. If he could he would call you to ask your opinion on every decision he makes.”
“Now you’re just being ridiculous.”
“No I’m being serious.”
“How do you know this?”
“Because he is exactly like Joe. I can’t tell you how many meetings that man stopped just to call Jane to ask her opinion on something or would only hold a meeting for when she was available so he could have her input.”
“Really?”
“Oh yes. I have no doubt that if you were home instead of here Rowen would be doing the same thing. Hell he probably would have taken you with us to Cedar Grove, if you had been at home.”
“OH.”
“Yeah. Chastity, I know you’re dealing with a lot right now, but try to have a little faith in Rowen while you’re at it. He is going no where.”
“I’ll try.”
“That’s my girl. Are you ready to head back in? Joe’s meeting will be ending soon, and unfortunately we have to head back home. There is a lot we need to deal with when we get there in response to what happened with Cedar Grove.”
“In a minute.”
“Ok. I know you have a question to ask, so please feel free to do so.”
“Do…do you think Cedar Grove will attack like they said they will?”
“I think that Marvin is going to try to rally his allies to him first which will fail as all his allies are also ours. Their packs are small, and they depend on us a lot for trade, and income. They won’t risk angering us. Nor will they support him when they find out exactly what caused this issue, and believe me they will. I think Marvin may attempt to come at us then, but I don’t think he will get very far. The members of his pack are slowly leaving, and his Beta is helping the rest to get out as quickly as possible.”
“That’s very sad that they are abandoning him.”
“It is, but if they do not they will not survive. They can barely afford to feed themselves on the small amount he provides them from the pack income provided by the meager trading he can still do. Unfortunately that will run out soon. It does not help that he plans to do what he did to us, to other Alphas. Or at least it seemed that way. There are Alphas out there that are a great deal less forgiving then. we are. They will not hesitate to attack, and eliminate him, and his pack if needed. His pack members will choose survival over him any day.”
“Can any one help him turn things around?”
“We offered many options to him, but he would hear of none of it. He would only accept our help in the form of Rowen accepting Bianca followed with us supporting, and supplementing his pack with ours, permanently.”
“He also doesn’t believe in fated mates?”
“No he does not, but I also sensed, when he came near enough to any of us to sense, that he is also not truly an Alpha. A warrior, yes. An Alpha, no?”
“Then how did he become Alpha?”
“His father was the Alpha before him.”
“I don’t understand, how did he end up scenting as a warrior then?”
“Please understand that this is only speculation, but I do not believe he was his father’s first child. I believe, if I remember correctly, his father’s fated mate had trouble conceiving, carrying, and even producing live pups. I believe that the first born may not have survived long, but the Alpha gene is strongest in the first born, just like with Betas. The gene weakens with each off spring. The only time a first born is not an Alpha is when they are female.”
“But Bianca was his first born, and only child. Doesn’t that make her an Alpha?”
“No. As I said first born females are never Alphas. They carry Alpha blood, but are not Alphas. Typically they scent as warriors, or high rank regular wolves.”
“Oh. So which is Gina?”
“A high rank regular wolf.”
“Oh. Does she know that?”
“Of course she does which is why she is trying to decide what she wants to do with her life. She is leaning. toward teaching.”
“Oh good. She is great with pups.”
“That she is, but we have gotten way off topic.”
“Yes. Sorry about that.”
“It’s quite alright. I think you should talk to Rowen before we leave. And Jax.”
“I….I know.”
“Who would you like to speak to first?”
“…I think Jax. I have a lot more to say to Rowen.”
“Ok. He’s coming now. Rowen isn’t happy about it, but he understands.”
“Th….thank you for talking to me.”
“Always baby girl. Always. I know I was shit for a long time, but I do love you. I am also very proud of you.”
“Thank you.”
Just then I heard leaves rustle, and twigs snap. I saw Jax standing there when I looked up. He looked a little shy, and worried. Dimitri stood, kissed my cheek, and walked away. Once he was gone, I patted the spot next to me on my boulder.
“Jax….”
“Chastity….”
We both started at the same time, and laughed.
“You first.” Jax said quietly.
“Jax I’m sorry. I know you would never lie to cover for any one, or hurt me. You would have told me the truth, and stopped him from doing something to hurt me. I…I was just…..” I started, but stopped as I didn’t know what to say.
“Feeling jealous, and possessive of your mate.” Jax finished for me.
“I…I think that’s part of it.”
“I get that. I have done the same with Molly in the past. She always called me back from it. What else was
it?”
“I…it’s hard for me. All those females throwing themselves at him. I’m worried he’ll eventually find someone better than me.”
“He won’t. Not only could he not do that, but also there is no one better than you in the world.”
“Even Molly?”
“Ok. Sorry, but she is kind of….well…”
“I get it. Dimitri explained a lot to me to help me understand things better.”
“I figured he would. Dad has a way with words.”
“I’m learning that.”
“So we’re good?”
“Yes Jaxy we’re good.”
“I’m glad pip-squeak. You better talk to Rowen though. He’s losing his mind thinking you’re going to reject him over some tramp.”
“OK.”
“I love you pip-squeak.”
“I love you too.”
Jax gave me a one arm hug then walked away. I waited quietly for Rowen to join me. I felt him before I saw him. I leaned forward on my elbows, and continued to wait until he reached me. Once we were close enough to see each other, but not touch we sat starring at each other. He looked so scared in that moment, and heartbroken. I knew I needed to speak first because he wouldn’t.
“Rowen, I am so sorry. I know you didn’t do anything wrong. I…I was…..I don’t know.” I sputtered.
“It’s ok Chastity. I get it.” Rowen said quietly.
“But it’s not ok. None of what I did was ok. I spoke to an Alpha disrespectfully. I accused you of things. you didn’t do. I yelled at an Alpha, and gave an Alpha an order. That’s not ok.”
Rowen rushed to me, and gently cupped my face in his hands. He tilted my face up to look at him, and whipped the tears that began to fall.
“Hey. Hey. What did I tell you sweet girl? Huh? There is no rank between us. With us we are just Rowen, and Chastity. Nothing else matters. You’re allowed to say what you want to me. You’re allowed to yell at me, and order me around.” Rowen said gently.
“But I said mean, hurtful things. I yelled, and…..” I started, but he put his thumb on my lips to stop me.
“You were hurt, and upset because some crazy she-wolf tried to take what belongs to you. You were angry, and needed to release that anger. I was there, and since I was involved, in a way, you took your anger out of me. That is ok love. I promise it’s ok. And I do understand. I’m not mad about it. I was scared though.”
“You, scared? Why?”
“Of losing you. The thought of not having you guts me. I can’t live my life without you. I was afraid you would reject me because of someone else.”
“Oh. I….”
“Chastity, I understand. I’m sorry that you got hurt because of another person’s actions. I did everything I could to make sure she was unable to try anything that would risk you, and me. If I could have left sooner. I would have, but it’s a 6 hour drive. I wish I could have just left instead of spending one more second in that house. I messed up, and I’m sorry.”
“But you didn’t mess up. You went there in hopes of helping another pack get back on their feet. You didn’t know they were going to do the things they did. You did everything right to protect yourself. It’s her that was the problem, and I’m scared.”
“What are you scared of sweet girl?”
“I’m scared that one day some girl is going to do what that girl did, and you will be drawn to her. I’ll lose you to her. That she’ll be better than me in every way. Prettier, kinder, smarter, and more right for you than you say I am. I’m scared. I know just a few days ago I wanted to reject you, but at the same time I knew I could never do it. Above anyone else you make me feel like I will be ok. Maybe not right now, but someday I will be ok. You make me feel that way, and I’m scared. So scared I’ll lose you to some female that is right for you.”
“Chastity, that will never happen. There is no one in this world more right for me than you are. You may not believe it, but you are everything I want, and need in this life. There is no one in this world smarter, kinder, stronger, more courageous, or more beautiful than you. No one will ever even come close. I told you the day you checked into school that I love you. I meant that Chastity. I do. I know you still have a lot you’re dealing with, and a crazy amount of emotions you’re trying to sort through so I don’t expect you to love me right now, or even say it, but I hope that one day you will I told you I would wait for you, and I will. I will also wait for you to love me.”
“….”
“I know sweet girl. I know. Come here.”
Rowen pulled me to his side, and wrapped his arms tight around me. The comfort, and warmth he was providing made me feel safe enough to cry. To really cry. I was such a mess that I didn’t even know why I was crying, but he held me anyway. With one hand he gently rubbed my back in soothing circles. With the other he lightly scratched my head. We stayed that way until my tears, and sobs slowed then stopped.
I pulled back enough to look up at him to find him smiling softly at me. He used his thumbs to wipe the tears from my eyes as he stared into mine. I got lost in those beautiful blue eyes for at least a minute. I didn’t even flinch when he pressed his lips to mine. My eyes fluttered shut to just enjoy the feeling of hist lips on mine.
When I felt his tongue brush my lower lips I gasped, and I felt his tongue slowly enter my mouth. I hesitantly followed his lead as his tongue began to brush mine. This kiss felt so different, so much more than our previous kisses. I moaned softly as we continued to kiss, and he pulled me close to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss even more. I found that I was tingling all over, and heat was rushing south in a manner I didn’t know how to react to.
I don’t know how he managed to do it, but he pulled away, eventually. He was breathing just as hard as I was as he placed a kiss on my forehead. I simply clung to him, and enjoyed the moment.
“I’m sorry Chastity. I didn’t mean to push.” He whispered against my forehead.
“It’s ok. I….I kind of liked it.” I admitted quietly.
“I’m glad, and I want to kiss you again, but if I do I might do something I shouldn’t.”
“I….I don’t understand, but ok.”
“We should head back anyway. My dad is waiting for us.”
“Oh. Ok.”
“I wish I could stay longer. I really do, but we have to get back.”
“I know. I heard.”
“Come on love.”
Taking my hand we walked out of the woods together, and to the parking lot in front of the Admin Building. I said my goodbyes to everyone, and got another quick kiss from Rowen. I stood there in that parking lot, watching them drive away, until their taillights disappeared.
When I got back to my room I found Norm, and Lexi waiting for me. Apparently I had worried them. We ate dinner in my room that evening, and talked. Before I went to bed I received a good night text message. from Rowen then I wrote in my journal. I poured out all of the feelings I had dealt with that day, and everything that happened. It felt good to get it all out like that. I went to bed feeling better than I had earlier. I also dreamed of Rowen, and his kisses that night.