The Alpha’s Substitute Mate

Isabella

I was broken and I sat down in the middle of the road and cried out my pain. It felt as if all the air in my lungs had been crushed out, the pain in my soul was crushing me and I couldn’t wrap my head around anything. I watched as the half-unconscious Lance was carried and placed inside the car while six warriors went to lift Arden’s huge lifeless body from the earth and gently lay it across the back seat of one of the cars.

The dead bodies of the rogues were moved away from the road and set ablaze. One of the rogue survivors was tied up and thrown inside the trunk for interrogation. Warriors moved around me doing the work that had to be done and I could only watch in a daze.

I felt Malcolm’s hand on my shoulder, his face was drawn and tear-streaked. ” Bella!! You’re bleeding, your dress is covered in blood.”

I shook my head ” It’s a minor graze and bruises from Arden pushing me down to the pavement and all the blood in my dress is not mine. It belonged to Arden and aside from the bruises, I was unharmed.

Even though I was not injured, all the strength seemed to have left me. I felt guilty that Malcolm, who was already devastated by grief, had to scoop me off the road and carry me back to the car. Our road trip had become a funeral procession back to the Blood Moon Pack.

Everything after that was a blur, but I will forever remember the horrible heart-wrenching sound of Queen Selena wailing over her son’s body. The way she lay flat and held onto Arden’s cold hands while crying and pleading with him to wake up.

Malcolm insisted that I should be brought to the medical ward and he handed me over to the doctor and then he left. I knew he had things to do. He had responsibilities to take up now as the next Alpha, even as he was grieving the loss of his brother.

Still, I felt lost without him near. I felt abandoned as I lay alone in the hospital room. The nurses helped me out of my blood-soaked gown and sponged me off before putting me in one of those free-size hospital gowns that tied up the back. The doctor checked me over thoroughly, cleaning and dressing the minor wounds on my back and my elbows and finally, he nodded in satisfaction and declared that everything was perfect.

Except everything was not perfect, everything was dreadful and I was alone. Alone with my thoughts, alone in my pains and agony.

Lance came in later, his head wrapped in a woven bandage, and his eyes were red and swollen from crying. I could do nothing more than to open my arms to him. He walked towards the bed to me like a child and sobbed into my shoulder. ” He was a jerk!

He was an asshole! He was a mean devil! But he was my Alpha and my brother.” He cried

“I know,” I said, stroking his hair. I couldn’t say anything else as hot tears trickled down my face. I was crying for Lance, I was crying for Malcolm, I was crying for Queen Selena, I was crying for everyone who felt his loss. I felt like the tears would never end and the earth seemed to be covered with a veil of painful misery.

After a long time, he sat up and wiped his eyes “I have to go Bella..”

The doctor wanted to have me stay in the hospital just for observation, but I refused the offer and told him to have me discharged. I got out of the unit and decided to use the stairs so that I would be able to clear my head from all the pain. I stumbled up the stairs and it seemed like my knees could hardly hold me, all my joints were aching, and exhaustion was getting the better part of me. I reached the last floor and then used one of the pillars to support myself and dragged my tired legs down the hallway toward my old chamber.

I got into my chamber and noticed that someone had cleaned it and put everything back in order. The clothes I left were still in the drawers and my shampoo was still on the shower rack. I was grateful to have something to change into as I was still wandering around in the hospital gown, I reached behind me with difficulty and untied the ropes, and removed the gown.

I found a comfy button-down satin gown and some clean underwear and changed into and crawled back into the bed. I hugged my pillow and allowed exhaustion to take over me.

I woke up and stayed in my room, I think they all forgot about me. I stayed in my room and did not bother to go down to the dining hall for meals. How could I? How could I possibly face them? I had rejected this pack, I shouldn’t even be here. I feel so ashamed that I could not even walk down to the dining hall and take my place at the Alpha’s family table like I used to. Missing a few meals wouldn’t kill me, I reassured myself and just drank water from the bathroom sink to quench my thirst.Nôvel(D)rama.Org's content.

Looking outside my window, I could hear the audible wailing and howling from the pack mourning. For a pack to lose an Alpha is a huge disaster and there was also a great deal to do in preparation for the funeral rites. No one included me in those plans even though I was still his legal wife at the time of his death. I was somehow delighted because I wouldn’t want to be given the gruesome responsibility of picking out his coffin or planning for the memorial deco.

I didn’t get to see much of Malcolm. He was now carrying all the responsibility of an Alpha. We’d only had one day of love but the promises made on the passion of the moment were probably no longer valid given the present circumstances.

I had the guilty suspicion that everyone blamed me for Arden’s death. If I hadn’t left, if he hadn’t been searching for me, if my dad hadn’t called him out, if he hadn’t been trying to protect me by using his body as a shield none of this would have happened.

I had decided to stay for the funeral and pay my last homage then leave. Even if it meant leaving alone.