Chapter 37 The Heart Of A Broken Vampire
It is with somewhat of a heavy heart that I make my way back into the cottage. I know what Anastasia saw will stay with her, and it shall be something we both will need to live with for an eternity. I wish she could see that this was not something that I chose. If I were in my right mind and not being controlled, then I would never have done such a thing. I guess I was foolish enough to believe that another scorned lover would not do a thing. Well, I have a very long way home to come to terms with the fact that my past has come to haunt me. I am afraid this shall happen again.
And with this in mind, I go to retrieve Beatrix's body; I shall burn it so that there is no way in this world and the beyond that she can ever be brought back to life. Much to my relief, as bad as it seems, I still find her where Anastasia dropped her before.
While I am standing at a clearing setting her body alight, I see a car coming up the gravel road. I immediately recognize it as my own and watch as Anastasia comes walking up tome. The anger on her face is still very clear. And she comes to stand by my side, she speaks to me firmly, and I am shocked by her resolve.
"I am glad you have one brain cell left."
Her remark amuses me, but the better judgment in me stops me from showing it. But one thing that I hope she bears in mind is that the spell is still very present. I am feeling great remorse for Beatrix's death, so my feeling to her remains somewhat cold. Beyond what is believed, the spell does not end once the Witch is gone; this one shall take a day or two, as Breyden mentioned to her before.
But what she says next does stir an emotion that shocks me to my core.Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.
"This is a second lover that I have had to rescue you from. I promise you, the next time, I will kill you both. Now get in the car; I would like to go home."
As those words sink into my head, I know that she meant what she said. I can feel her pain and anger, but most of all, her disappointment.
...Anastasia...
I have never felt so betrayed in my life before. I understand that he was under her spell, but the image of him standing over her naked body is one that shall stay with me forever.No woman, no matter what you are, you do not want to see the person that you love in such an intimate moment with another. So it is with a sad heart that I make my way back to the car with a Sebastian that craves his dead lover still.
And with that somber mood, we drive in silence back home. I know that Breyden is very disappointed in me for killing the only Witch that might have been able to take the curse from Tasnim. There are no words that shall take his fury away. Needless to say, we all have suffered sadness today.
Halfway through our trip, we stop at a gas station to fill up the car and take a much-needed break from the suffocating silence. Sebastian, who is feeling a little bit less entranced, comes to stand by me. I know that he shall attempt to make me forgive him, but I am afraid that shall not happen today. It still does not stop me from feeling his pain; after all, we have not only a physical bond to each other but also an emotional and mental one.
I feel every second of his pain, but I also feel every moment of his desire. The very moment that he became aroused by Beatrix, I immediately felt it shoot through my body.
So as he stands and tries to speak with a tremble in his voice.
"My beloved, please can you hear me out for a moment?"
I give him the cold shoulder and turn my back on him. Before he can say another word, I walk away from him even though every second kills me. But before I am totally out of distance to being able to hear him, he mumbles under his breath. "I love you."
And with that, I fall into pieces; I know what I shall do once we get home.
...Sebastian...
She is suffering pain so deep that no matter what I say or do, she is not bound to forgive me easily. I fear the damage that this has done to our relationship. Which brings me back to what happened; this spell is wearing off faster than any of which she has ever cast on me. Beatrix did this with the sole purpose of breaking Anastasia and me apart. She wanted me to feel the pain that she felt that day that I left her.
And I do so desperately want to explain this to Anastasia, but she has totally shut me off. So we continue our way back home in silence. After several hours of driving, we finally stop at home. She immediately makes her way up to the room, and as I follow her, I sense that she does not want me in her presence. So I find Breyden in the common room, I too, need to beg for his forgiveness.
"My friend, I am truly so sorry; if I knew what her plan was, then I would have taken you to see another witch with the same power as what Beatrix had."
"Do not apologize, Sebastian; no one could foresee for this to happen. I was too blinded by my own intention that I did not sense the evil that she was up to."
I know that he says this with his words, but I know it is not how his heart truly feels. It is time to consider how I will rectify this.
"I shall immediately start looking for another witch that shall be able to help us."
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"Please do not be concerned with it any longer; I think that I should consider what you said. Maybe Tasnim shall be happier if she sees this man."
"So you saying that you shall be fine if she lives with this curse?"
"We have been looking for over two hundred years; I think I can safely say it is time for us to stop looking."
"You do not know how relieved I am to hear you say that. I am afraid the rest of the witches that are left; I was bound to have had an encounter with." "Exactly how many women have you had encounters with?"
"My friend, I am well past two hundred years; I am sure you can do the math."
With only one stare at my comment, he refrains from saying a thing but only bursts out in laughter. And we sit for the next hour in each other's company; as I am satisfied that his mood had lifted, he leaves to make his way back to Paris. So I find myself aimlessly wandering throughout the corridors and rooms. Every time my footsteps lead me to her door. I can hear her fighting her own turmoil amongst these four walls. And as I reach for the doorknob, each time, I need to remind myself to practice patience. In all my lives, I have never felt so pained and alone. I have no idea how long she shall remain this way; all that I know is that it is killing me slowly.
Then as I reach the kitchen, I found that Edward has returned from Council business. As I step inside, at least he is welcomed to see me.
"You are just the man I am looking for; there is an urgent matter that requires your attention."
He looks at me for a few seconds before he dares to ask.
"Should I ask how things went with Beatrix?"
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"That bad; tell me, is she still alive?"
I only but shake my head, and with this, he refrains from asking any further questions. And as it does, life goes on, so I might as well listen to what else he has to say. "Back to the business at hand, I am afraid another one of your past endeavors has come to raise its ugly head."
...Anastasia...
I hear him as he comes to the door repeatedly; by his deep breathing, I know that his heart is carrying this burden somewhat heavier than I thought. I cannot just cave in to my emotion and show him that I become weak when he is suffering. I do agree that you need to stand for your actions, but I am afraid that his life's directions are affecting our relationship in a negative way. That is why, with my own breaking heart that I take this pen and paper.
And as I write every word, I know that parts of me do not truly mean to say it, but I need him to understand how this has faltered me in loving him the way I should. So as I write the final few words, a tear drops onto the paper, ruining half of what I have written. It is stained with pain and heartbreak. At times, such as this, I wish that I was a Vampire that did not bear a soul.
In its own strange way, it feels that eternal love carries a far more profound meaning and lasting impact on the heart.
So once I am satisfied that he is not lurking around anymore, I make my way downstairs to find an unusually quiet kitchen. I retrieve the note from my pocket and place it where I know he shall find it. And as I do, I find myself sobbing even harder than I had only done a few moments ago. My heart is breaking over and over in an agonizing battle to forgive myself for what I am doing.
Then I gather my things and make my way out in the cold of the night. There is no rain, but a crisp cold breeze that is blowing icy on my skin. As I wander my way through the street, I keep reminding myself of the reason for my actions, and even though they seem selfish, I believe firmly that we shall come from this stronger if we are, in fact, supposed to be together.
With this in mind, I find myself knocking on a door that I never thought that I would. And as it swings open, I am met with wide and confused eyes.
"Anastasia, what are you doing here?"
"I do not have any other place I can go."