Chapter 356
131 Ayla
I don’t know if I am dreaming or if I have died. I really hope it is the first one because I am too close to being back with Griff to die now. But on the other hand, I have never felt as peaceful as I do now. I stand up to look around and I notice I am wearing a white flowy dress. It reminds me more of a robe than it does of a dress. Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.
Suddenly I see a figure looming in the distance. The person is watching me but makes no effort to come closer. I’m unsure of what I should do, it feels as though they are calling out to me. It feels familiar and before I know it, before I even decided to. I am moving towards the figure. As I get closer I see that it is a female, with long blonde hair that is so light it is almost white.
She is wearing a robe similar to mine but hers is embroidered with sparkling silver. This is my answer I must have died, and the Moon Goddess deemed me worthy enough to ascend to the heavens. Here can live in her valley now. The eternal pack house. I will have long–lost family members and friends waiting for me here
But there still is this urge to go back to Griffin. I do not want to be dead, I finally had a life I wanted to live. And now it has been taken away from me before I could do the things I really wanted to do. Like finally being Griffin’s mate in all senses of the word. My tears leave stains on my robes as I make my way towards, who I suspect is Selene the Moon Goddess and mother of all werewolves.
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“Sit with me my child, tell me why are you crying?” She asks me, gesturing at a white wooden park bench I could have sworn wasn’t there seconds ago.
“I am sorry, you are the Mood Goddess right?” I stammer. having no clue how to speak with her.
“I am, and you are Ayla Hemming, daughter of Jay and Tessie Hemming, fated mate to David Birch. And second chance mate to Griffin Taylor” She tells me and hearing Griffin’s name alone hurts me.
Like she is stabbing me with a burning knife. She must see me winching in pain. As she gestures to the bench again. There is no use in standing up against the Moon Goddess herself so I just sit down next to her. Not speaking because she wants to know why I am crying. But I am really not sure how to tell the Moon Goddess that you do not want to be in her presence because you rather be with your mate longer.
The mate you have not completed the mating ritual with all because you were too scared to get hurt again. I wonder if she knows how often I cursed her, how I wanted to stop believing in her. Or how I was so convinced that they made mistakes. That I thought for so long that having fated mates is bullshit. As is the pain when someone rejects you. Because how is it fair to be rejected by the one who is supposed to love you unconditionally? And then to be in pain because of it.
“You seem to have a lot on your mind, my child. Which I guess is fair
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since you’ve been through a lot haven’t you?” Selene asks me.
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When we are young, we are taught that the Moon Goddess is the mother of all werewolves. It is why the one who helps lead the pack with the Alpha is named Luna. The Latin word for moon, because in her likeness, us Luna’s are supposed to be the mother of the pack. Where the Alpha is strict, the one setting down the rules. Luna’s are the ones that oversee the rest. That takes care of the pack, listening to Selene’s soothing voice telling me that I have been through a lot.
Makes me feel like I am listening to a mother. And I cannot bear to tell her just how mad I am with her. Just as I would not tell my mother I no longer look up to her. I would never imagine telling Selene that: Not out of a fear for her and her anger. No, because it feels bad to tell her that. Because suddenly the idea of disappointing her feels like such a heavy burden. A burden that I need to avoid at all costs. So instead I just answer her, not letting her know how I still feel that it is her fault.
“I have, and I don’t understand why. Not that it matters much, the reason I was crying is because it all was for nothing I still lost him”
Selene looked at me questioningly, I expected her to know what I was talking about. But her next question indicates that she doesn’t
“Griff, I lost him now and I know this is supposed to be a better place,” I tell her as I make a wide gesture trying to capture the entire valley.
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“But to me, there is no place better than right at Griffin’s side. It took me way too long to realize that. And now I am too late” I sob
“Well your body is indeed giving up, it has been through too much. But our spirit is stronger then our body is. I wanted to talk to you, tell you why I picked David as your fated mate” She explains and suddenly I feel a little bit of hope warming my heart.
“Wait so you mean to tell me that I am not dead?” I ask because I need to
be sure.
“No your body has given up, your spirit is still fighting to find your way back to your mate. Eventually, you are going to have to decide if you want to keep fighting. Or if you are going to join me here” Selene states, and right now I cannot think of any reason to not keep fighting to get back to Griffin.
But there must be a reason she feels I might not want to fight when I have heard everything there is to be said. I sit back and nod, signaling for Selene to continue talking. Because I am speechless, my throat feels so dry that I am sure no words are going to come out.
“You must be wondering why I chose David as your fated mate. Wondering if I knew what he was capable of. Admittedly Griffin is a far more suitable mate for you. He is my apology of sorts” She starts
It was weird knowing that being mated to David, wasn’t a mistake. I had
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been telling myself it was a mistake. That I should have been mated to Griffin to being with. It had been easier, to believe that the Moon Goddess never saw a man as vile as David match me. That she did not. believe a man like him was the one who could make me a better
person.
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