Chapter 55 All That Is Broken
I feel let down that Ray will keep something as important as this from me. I have now reached a point where I am beyond frustrated that everyone feels the need to treat me like a porcelain doll. I am a Marine, but even more importantly, I am a man. I am not a little boy that needs his handheld; I do not need anyone to fight my battles for me, and least of all, I will not let anyone tell me what to do.
Life is too damn short to waste your time on trying to fix something that is not broken. Yes, my body might be broken, but it does not mean that I can not perform at the best of my ability. I, and I can proudly say it; I am even far better than your average Marine. Every single man in this camp has his own problems. Am I sitting here and judging him?
Now talking about men, where is Ana? I would have thought that she would be there to greet us. Well, I love the woman, but sometimes I do fear that she does not have her priorities straight either. She, after all, is one of the many ones that think I need to be pampered. Soldier rest, soldier stay off your leg, soldier drink your medication. Soldier! Soldier! Soldier! What the fuck happened to say I love you instead?
With all this frustration, I make my way to her tent to check up on her. As I am walking there, I am trying my best to clear my mind, for I know that I am going to take this out on her. But to no avail, I cannot shake the anger that is brewing inside. It is twisting and turning a knot in my stomach. It is a suffocating pain that I am feeling. The feeling of betrayal runs deep. I do not hold a grudge, but it is hard to see beyond forgiveness. I do not see myself granting anyone the luxury of this.
So after what feels like an agonizing few minutes too long, I am at the entrance of Ana’s tent. Now, of course, I cannot knock, and I cannot particularly stand here and yell for her, so I sneak in, and what do I find? Nothing. No Ana. Completely calm, maybe more a little annoyed, I walk over to the nurse’s tent. And do I find Ana? No. Who I do find is Emily with an eager smile. Yes, I know exactly what this woman is thinking.
“I am not here for you. Where is Ana?”
“Oh, did you misplace your girlfriend? You never were quite well with women.”
“I am going to reserve my comments here. Now stop being a bitch and tell me where Ana is?”
“She has gone to the supply plane.”
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“And she has gone to the supply plane.”
“Emily, my patience is very thin at the moment. Just tell me where she is?”
“I told you the supply plane. Ray said that if she wishes to leave, then she has to do it now.”
I feel as my blood starts to boil; I know that Emily won’t lie about something like this, well maybe, just maybe, yes. If there is a chance for her to hurt me, then this is a perfect way for her to piss me off.
“Emily, how long ago did she leave?”
“Oh, this morning already.”
“What! You are fucking lying.”
“No, you can check with Ray.”
The last thing I want to do now is talking to him. God, who knows, he might even try to sugarcoat it and pretend that it is okay. Or as they say, it is for the best. Well, say best my ass. I am now officially done with Ana and her issues. We all came here with a purpose, and her purpose is to try and run away as far as possible.
As I walk out of the nurse’s tent, I still optimistically scan the camp to see if I can see her walking around. I go back to her tent to check if she has left, and as I cannot find any of her belongings, it confirms that she has left me once again.
…Ana POV…
What a damn mess; I am so exhausted after that. I did not think I would walk that path so soon again, but I am so relieved that I am finally in a bed that is more comfortable. I do wish that being this side shall give me that peaceful sleep that has been eluding me for the past two days.
I was so hoping that Ethan would have come back sooner than, but I just could not wait anymore. He is going to be so angry; I know how important this is for him; all he wants is for me to be by his side. And I cannot even get a simple thing right. I am sure that he shall understand. Tomorrow he would hopefully already have forgotten.
So as I completely drift off, I am sadly proven wrong as the nightmares come creeping up with the fear of seven horrors.
“”I am going to teach you a lesson.” I hear his voice echo in my head over and over again. The sounds are barely audible under the cackle of a deep rumbling laughter. I feel as terror crawls up my spine; he has now slowly begun to pop the buttons from my shirt one by one with a razor-sharp knife. My body goes stiff, and I beg. The more I beg, the larger his very clear pleasure begins. “Please, I beg you, please, please let me go. I promise I will tell no one.” He throws his head back, “Ha! Do you think that I am stupid?” Well, I do, but if I utter one more word, I am afraid of what he is going to do. I clench my hands in a fist on squeeze my eyes close. “Open your eyes,” he says. “I want you to watch.” My throat becomes dry. I grin my teeth hard. My toes curl as my body threatens to give in. “Now let us see what you have got here,” he slowly but seems to be very satisfied as he positions his knife at the clasp of my bra. “Please, please don’t do this, you don’t need to do this,” my please fall onto deaf ears. “Oh, what you don’t understand, my dear girl, this is exactly what I want to do. “Aaahhh!” my voice echoes as he slices me down between my cleavage. I look down horrified. There is blood pouring from a clear deep wound. And then…””
I wake up in a clear sweat. My heart is pounding in my throat. The sweat is running down my face. And as I sit up, I pull my shirt away to reveal the very wound that his knife inflicted on me.
Thank god Ethan did not see it; I really wish that he was here.
…Ethan POV…
I am going to bed. I have had my fair share of disappointment today. The man that I have looked up to for the past seven years has let me down. On top of that, the woman that I love has just deserted me; she did not even have the guts to say goodbye. Guess everyone will think poor Ethan, then they shall treat me like a baby all over again.
It does not take me long before I am fast asleep. But then the very thing that I thought I have long gotten over starts to haunt me again. His face appears in front; it shakes me to my very being to have him so close to me again.
“”I am going to get the location out of you, even if I have to rip your skin from your body,” I hear as he stands tall over me with his gun pointed against my forehead. I feel the fear of hell shake my bones, but I shall not show him that he is making my skin crawl. I can see as his unsteady hand shake, it is only going to take one small jerk, and that bullet shall travel through that barrel. But then something catches his eye. “Oh, my dear, look, the poor soldier got injured,” his laughter vibrates against the walls. I watch as there is wickedness that sneaks up in his evil eyes. And without even having to hesitate, he takes the grip of his gun and…Wham… “Aaahhh!” He smashes it straight onto the broken bone that is sticking out of my leg where it has pierced through my skin. He smiles like there is no tomorrow as he sees the tremble in my body. Then once again…Slam… “Aaahhh!” I grind hard on my teeth and clench my fists. God, how I wish I can get out of these ropes, for he is going to wish that he was dead. “Aaahhh,” my words shake over my lips as he stomps his foot onto my leg. “Now, are you going to tell me where the location is?” I laugh at him mockingly, “Go to hell first.””
I wake up screaming as I am ripped back into reality. Why does this feel so real? Is this going to become my reality all over again?
I really wish that Ana was here.