The Soul Mate (Roommates, # 4)

“I’m just…” I took a deep breath, not finding the appropriate words to explain how I felt about our night together. How did one explain to a medical doctor while naked on the exam table that they weren’t looking for a father for the unborn baby they might be carrying? Especially, when that father was him. “You’re…that night…everything was so intense, and I’m just not interested in anything serious.”

“Based on one night, you decided it would have to be something serious?”

Why couldn’t he be like every other man led around by his dick and just get over it already? I felt embroiled in some kind of strange role reversal. We didn’t need to be having this awkward conversation. He could have just remained professional, finished my exam and never seen me again. No harm, no foul. I didn’t care that he’d given me the best sex of my life. I didn’t. I really didn’t. Now, here he was doing his version of damage control, trying to keep me under his thumb and seeking a compromise I didn’t need or want.

I tilted my head to the side. “I was just looking to unwind and have some fun. It’s not something I do often, but to be honest, I’m surprised you even wanted to see me again.”

“So, which is it? I’m too serious, or I’m such a player you thought it wouldn’t matter if you just disappeared?”

“Why can’t it be both?” I countered.

He clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes into slits, clearly unwilling to accept my pretzel logic. “Because it doesn’t make any sense.”

“I had to blow off some steam and so did you. We both had fun. We don’t need to make it into something more, do we?” I shrugged but glancing down, I could see the tremble in my hands that gave me away. Hear the lie in my own voice.

He stared at me, as if seeing me for the first time. Was I the same woman that had been so soft and pliant in his arms weeks before? No. The reason I was here, naked and vulnerable and exposed to his gaze made me night and day different from that woman. I might be pregnant. My future might depend on some positive sign in some sterile lab. I had to make him think that I felt as if he were nothing. Nothing more than a whim-a quick, easy fuck, something that could be tossed aside in the morning and forgotten.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

But in my heart, I knew the truth. I’d felt it. That hot, coursing electricity at every move and touch. My heart practically exploded when we’d come, hard and needy and deep, together. That look in his eyes while he was inside me…that hadn’t been in my head. It couldn’t have been.

It wasn’t.

“Okay, so, if it was just a one-night stand-” he started, but I cut in before he could finish. I couldn’t let him say something we’d both regret.

“It was.”

At my careless words, disappointment lined his chiseled features. I almost felt bad for deliberately hurting him. But not enough to make it right by spilling the truth. Doing that would leave me open to heartache. And mine had bricks around it that even a battering ram couldn’t break through.

He took a steadying breath, and after a few measured moments, a mask of cool indifference came over his face. “Right. Okay. It was just a one-night stand. So we should probably just continue with the annual exam. It’ll be super quick, and then a nurse will call you in a few days with your Pap results, all right?”

“Uh.” I swallowed hard and then speared him with a glare. Was he dense? Now, I had a whole other can of worms to open up.

“Look, I know you’re probably a little uncomfortable, but I can be a professional. You are here for the annual exam, correct?” He glanced down at the chart again. Maybe I wouldn’t have to spell it out. If he forced the issue, I didn’t know if I could tell him the reason for my visit without breaking down. As he scanned the document, everything appeared fine until he got to the bottom. If I hadn’t been about to throw up and pass out, I might have enjoyed the tragic look on his face.

Now who feels like puking, huh?

He paled. All the color and blood drained from his face, and he wobbled, his six foot plus frame swaying like a willow in the breeze. Slowly, he dropped back into his rolling stool, then steadied himself against the counter.

He looked at my face, searching. Trying to determine if I was joking. As if. Women my age didn’t joke about something so serious. I narrowed my eyes and held his gaze.

Do you get it now, Einstein? If there’s a baby, you’re the father. Which means if I’m really pregnant and want to keep the baby, in nine months’ time, you’re going to be someone’s dad…

After breathing in deeply through his nose, he opened his mouth to speak, but before he could delay the inevitable one second longer, I hopped from the table and grabbed my panties from the chair beside the table.

“Look, uh, this was a bad idea.” I shoved one leg into my jeans, having slid on my panties in record time. “I can find another doctor, I promise. Mandy was only trying to help me out. I didn’t know this was your practice, obviously, and I just…I need some air.”

I hopped into my jeans and buttoned them, then reached for my top.

He opened his mouth to say something but remained silent after a couple of strained seconds. I half expected him to start yelling at me about condoms and birth control pills. As a doctor, he had to be wondering how this happened. But he should know, because condoms could and did fail. Obviously.

“Don’t worry about it, really,” I said before he could get going with the platitudes and false promises. That was the last thing I needed. “It’s probably a false alarm, but if not, you know, I know where to find you, so…” I let out a humorless laugh as I turned around and ripped off my robe before shoving my shirt over my head. Now that I stood before him, completely covered, I almost felt better. But nothing short of getting the hell out of this tiny, suffocating room would help me draw a normal breath again. “Please, just pretend I was never here.”

His mouth came unhinged again. I seemed to keep striking him speechless, and I prayed he’d remain that way while I emulated a magician and disappeared. I slipped through the door, nearly sprinting for the lobby with sure, purposeful steps.

Before I reached safety, that deep voice halted me in my tracks.

“Bren, wait. We need to talk about this.”

My feet seemed to have become cemented to the floor. Why couldn’t I just be rude and leave? Shove him firmly in my past again like I did before? Something about the man caused me to act so out of character, I barely recognized myself. He awakened too many feelings in me that I wanted to stay dead and buried.

“I’ll deal with the consequences myself,” I said in a low voice, not turning. If I looked at him, I’d stay. So I tamped down the desire to fling myself into his strong arms and stepped from the room and into the wide linoleum atrium outside the door. I could almost feel his breath grazing the back of my neck.

Why won’t you just give up?

Before I could reach the sidewalk, he reached out and turned me around, forcing me to look at him.

“Running isn’t an option anymore. Whatever this is, the lab already has your specimen sample from when the nurse took your blood. The results are coming, and when they get here, I won’t let you face them alone. No fucking way.”