Through the Screen

Chapter 94

abel entered the kitchen hesitantly, silently watching as noah settled a stack of plates and a few spoons

and forks on the counter, turning around and making his way to the fridge. when noah noticed abel

discreetly standing at the threshold of the kitchen, he paused his actions, biting his lip and raising his

eyebrows slightly at the younger boy who looked away as soon as their eyes met.

"you need something?" noah mumbled quietly, his fingers tightening their grip on the refrigerator handle

but not opening it.

"y-your mum told me to help," abel flinched at his own voice, sounding just as pathetic as he felt. "sorry,

i-i don't want to make you uncomfortable but i didn't know how to tell her—" abel begins to ramble

nervously and noah just sighs, shaking his head and finally diverting his attention back to the fridge,

opening it and taking out the chicken so it can be grilled.

"it doesn't matter," he responded vaguely, making his way to the stove as he ignited one of them and

placed a grill pan on the gas. abel stood still, confused by his calm response. ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

somehow, he preferred the yelling and the tears and the breaking instead of this uncomfortable silence

and the pretentious conversations. at least when noah was screaming at him, abel knew that he was

bothered, that he loved him, that he cared. this vicarious persona however, was breaking abel 's heart

in the worst way possible.

"i'm really sorry," abel blurted all of a sudden, watching as noah stopped his movements for a minute

before resuming his work, as if he didn't hear the broken words slipping past abel lips.

"i don't care," noah muttered ignorantly, squeezing his eyes shut and pursing his lips as he tried to

control his breathing. he had been trying to be as passive as possible in the past few hours; their

irrelevant relationship was already bothering their son, noah didn't want to bother his mother as well.

i don't care, the words seemed to have knocked the breath entirely out of abel. he wasn't sure what

they meant, whatever noah has said in the past five minutes—which were only two sentences—made

abel 's mind even more chaotic.

"y-you don't?" abel asked, not sure if it even was an answerable question, but noah just shrugged his

shoulders as if he wasn't bothered.

"it's obvious that you love someone else so i have no idea why you are even bothering with—"

"don't say that," abel whimpered, pulling the sleeves of his jumper over his hands and fisting the

material harshly, his cheeks flushed with hurt and his eyes dropping shut as if he did not want to face

the situation.

"why shouldn't i?" noah raised his voice just a little. "you slept with him even after i told you i—" noah

paused, taking a deep breath to stop himself from crying again.

"i always knew you liked him more than me, you anyways preferred to spend more time with him, and

now you have also portrayed your love for him by fucking him so—"

"no i haven't!" abel yells, a few tears slipping down his cheeks as he struggles to speak through the

lump in his throat. "i have always loved you! only you, you, i, i have never chosen chris over you, you're

my, i'm,"

"give me one reason why i should believe that," noah's face is painted with an angry expression, the

hurt caged inside his heart has started to seep out in venomous words and right now, he pays no

attention as to how he is affecting abel. somewhere between the betrayal and the self consuming

anger, he doesn't care about him.

"i-i don't know what to say, but i-i love you and whatever that happened was a mistake i promise," abel

explains in unstructured sentences. "he, you—he's no comparison to you, i just, he told me that you're

cheating on me and i was drunk and his friend," abel can't even complete his statement before he

breaks down pathetically, sobs interrupting his words and noah just pinches the bridge of his nose,

trying to block out the sight.

he knows he will let his guard down and forgive abel if he watches him like that, and a small foolish part

of him even wants to do that. but he knows that even if he forgives abel right now, they will never be the

same, there is no point in continuing a failing relationship.

"please noah, i can't live without you," abel chokes finally, slipping down to the floor and tangling his

fingers in his hair, trying to desperately calm himself down before he has a panic attack. his breathing is

irregular and harsh, and even though noah is impossibly mad at him, he is also impossibly in love with

him, which causes him to push his hair off his forehead in frustration and grabbing a glass of water.

he walks over to abel hesitantly, crouching down and holding out the glass to the sobbing mess of a

man in front of him, and abel wipes at his cheeks in a failed attempt before his shaky fingers try and

grip the glass. of course, it doesn't work, and instead of taking it from noah he simply pushes it away,

knowing that there was no way his fingers will cooperate with him at this point.

noah sighs once again, watching as abel 's fidgety fingers fail at taking the glass, and after a few

seconds, he gives in, putting his hand on the back of abel 's head softly and pressing the rim of the

glass against his bitten lips. abel just looks at him with wide eyes, panic only increasing at the close

proximity and he chokes on the water, coughing and pulling away from the glass.

"it's okay, calm down, look at me," noah reaches up and pushes abel 's messy hair off his damp

forehead, the palm of his hand involuntarily cupping abel 's cheek and his other hand pressing the

glass to abel 's lips again, who this time tries to regulate his breathing, slowly drinking the cold liquid

and letting it calm down his nerves.

"you okay?" noah can't help himself but run his fingers through the front of abel 's hair again, heart

breaking at the sight of his tear stained pink cheeks and the dullness of his eyes as abel looked up at

him, hesitantly nodding.

"thank you," abel mumbled quietly, taking the glass from noah in both his hands and noah just stared at

him for moment before getting off the floor and walking back to the kitchen counter, and pressing his

hands flat against the granite countertop.

he's afraid he loves abel too much to let him go.