Chapter 944 Denying Oneself
Almost instinctively, she wiped away her tears.
Pretending like nothing was wrong.
“Aren’t you supposed to be gone?” Luna nervously asked.
Orion replied, “Freya told me that you didn’t want to see me, but I felt that sooner or later, we would have to face each other, so it’s better this way, meeting unexpectedly.”
Luna quickly understood.
She said, “Yes, I agree.”
Orion looked at her, “You don’t have to feel ashamed or uncomfortable, there’s no need for formality between us.”
Luna smiled faintly and nodded.
“Star doesn’t cry much, the new nanny she found, though not her biological mother, is very dedicated and professional, taking good care of Star. The reason I say this is to let Freya convey to you that Star is unsettled, causing you worry.”
Luna looked up at him, “When did you become so calculating?”
Orion asked, “Is this considered calculating? I just wanted to do everything possible to bring you back, back to my side, back to Star’s side. If you say I’m selfish, I admit it, I am selfish.”
Before Luna could respond, he continued, “Please trust me, give me, give yourself, give Star a chance.”
Luna, barely above a whisper, replied, “Okay.”
“Go outside for a while, I’ll pour you a glass of water, Star won’t wake up yet.”
Orion walked to the living room.
The nanny had already been sent away by him.
Now there was no one in the house.
Luna sat on the sofa.
Orion poured her a glass of water.
He sat across from Luna.
The atmosphere between them was awkward.
Orion started a conversation, “When you heard Star cry, you must have been worried, right?”
Luna nodded honestly, she was indeed worried.
“The old you wouldn’t have been like this,” Luna said.
She picked up the water glass in front of her, tightly gripping it in her hand, and said, “Is it that everyone changes?”
“Everyone goes through a lot of things, and with experience, the mind matures, and personalities will inevitably change to some extent. Maybe I was too immature before? Couldn’t give you a sense of security?” Orion asked.
Luna shook her head, “You used to be kind, innocent.”
“Also immature and indecisive,” Orion added.
He looked at Luna seriously, “It won’t happen again. Trust me.”
Luna looked up at him.
Her grip on the glass tightened even more.
Her white fingertips revealing her state of mind.
“I know you’ve always been a good person.”
Orion smiled, “Your opinion of me is still high.”
The atmosphere gradually eased.
At that moment, Star started crying.
Both of them stood up almost simultaneously.
Orion said, “Let’s go together.”
Luna nodded.
They went to the room together.
Orion stood aside, showing no intention of holding Star.
He knew Luna must have missed her child.
As expected, Luna eagerly picked up the child.
She gently pressed her daughter’s soft cheek against her own, “Baby, do you miss me? I missed you so much.”
Whether it was a mother-child connection or not.
Star stopped crying unexpectedly.
She looked at Luna with her big eyes.
“It seems she hasn’t forgotten me yet.”
Luna said thankfully.
Orion said, “You are her mother, she will never forget you, you gave her the chance to come into this world.”
Luna lowered her head, looking at her daughter, “I once thought about not having her, now I realize how wrong I was.”
Orion was surprised.
She still had such thoughts.
“Why did you decide to stay?” he asked hoarsely.
Luna, unflinchingly, said, “Because of Tyler.”
She did it on purpose.
She wanted to see if Orion cared.
Seeing a slight change in his expression, she asked, “Do you care? He is my past, if you are with me, you have to constantly face my past, have you really thought it through?”
Orion said, “I was just surprised that you once thought about not wanting Star, it’s not that I mind. Don’t make your thoughts useless.”
Luna said, “He made me stay.”
This time, it was not a test.
She wanted to tell Orion that Tyler was a good man.
Orion said, “I know.”
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The next day.
Freya and Luna went to see a psychologist together.
Luna said, “I met Orion yesterday.”
Freya wasn’t surprised and asked, “How was it?”
After a moment of contemplation, Luna evaluated, “He has changed a lot.”
Freya smiled and asked, “Has he changed for the better or for the worse? Do you prefer the current him or the past him?”
After some thought, Luna said, “It’s different.”
The old Orion was cheerful, they were both studying medicine, with plenty of things to talk about.
The current Orion, on the other hand, gives a sense of security, more capable of dealing with challenges.
Freya said, “Indeed, with more experience comes maturity.”
Luna agreed, “Yes.”
If he had been like this from the beginning, perhaps they wouldn’t have been so distant from each other.
“I’ll go in by myself,” Luna said.
Freya respected her decision and nodded, “I’ll wait outside for you.”
Luna said, “Okay.”
She walked to the door, raised her hand, and knocked.
The voice inside said, “Come in,” and she pushed the door open and walked in.
The room was bright and simple.
A large table with only a few books on it.
A young man wearing glasses sat there.
He was very gentle, “Luna?”
Luna nodded.
He gestured, “Please, have a seat.”
Luna sat down.
The psychologist said, “Dr. Song and I have discussed your situation a bit.”
Luna nodded.
“Are you comfortable with me asking detailed questions?” he asked.
Luna nodded again.
Flipping through the book in his hand casually, he asked, “How many people have violated you?”
Luna’s hand on her lap tightened.
She was visibly nervous.
The psychologist said, “Don’t be afraid. Although memories are painful, only by facing the past head-on can you truly let go. You don’t know me, so boldly tell me what you want to say, what you’re afraid of, tell me everything.”
Luna closed her eyes…
The painful scenes vividly flashed in her mind.
One by one, so clear.
She shuddered with fear.
At that time, she really felt hopeless.
“I only had one thought at that time, I wouldn’t survive.”
The psychologist nodded.
“Now, whenever a man approaches you, do you feel repulsed, unconsciously recalling the incident, finding it hard to accept?” he asked.
Luna nodded, “Yes.”
“Do you have a partner now? Do you have feelings for a man now?” the psychologist asked.
Luna fell silent.
She was contemplating her feelings for Orion.
She shook her head, “It’s not love anymore.”
“How do you mean?” he inquired.
Luna explained, “I did love him before, but now I feel like we are no longer in the same world. He remains himself, and Orion is even more outstanding, while I am a mess, I’m no longer worthy of him.”
“So you are denying yourself. When you say you no longer love him, it’s not true love lost, you just feel unworthy of him, it’s just self-denial,” he concluded.