Chapter 46: 30I read your letter
Chapter 46: 30I read your letter
When I figure out, I’m not hallucinating, I try to lose Hayes in the crowd.
Just when I think I’m over this entire situation, just when I’ve healed most of my wounds with him, here
comes Hayes stirring up the resurfaced secrets, regrets, and mistakes all over again. I don’t want to be
in the same room as him again, not again.
I walk the first floor wandering around, bumping into strangers, and having drunks yell at me. It was
better than going up to the second level and being mature about the situation. In the moment,
wandering was even better than checking to see if my brother was al-right. I should’ve done that, but
instead I’m regretting, crying, and down spiraling. I was down spiraling fast and had no one to help me
out this time. There’s one person that came to mind though, Jeff.
I go into an empty room on the first floor and text him.
I need you.
-Alex
I waited for what felt like hours before he texted back. I didn’t think he’d text back at all.
Where are you?
-Jeff
I text him the address before my phone dies. Now it’s just me back to wandering throughout the floors.
~~~~
I end up at the drinking table on the second level. DJ guy was there too, stuffing his tongue down my
throat. His hands were all over me and at one point in my pants. He wasn’t fully intoxicated; I was on
the brinks of it though.
I was already on my 4th shot of vodka. My mouths’ aroma is coated in acidic alcohol and cool cigarette
ash from DJ guy, but I can’t stop.
I let DJ guy whose name I ended up learning was Ryan do a lot to me. He groped my breast, my ass
and he pinned me against a wall in front of everyone. Then he gave me a brownie, a funny brownie that This belongs © NôvelDra/ma.Org.
made me laugh.
I didn’t care because I didn’t feel a thing, and I didn’t want to. As long as we didn’t have sex, as long as
he didn’t enter me in any-way. As long as I stay in a large crowd, I have control of the situa-tion.
Did I feel bad? Do I feel bad, no. I’m too high to care about anything including Jeff. I’m just going off the
rhythm of my down-spiraling which was getting out of control.
Out of nowhere a heavy hand grips my arm, and my high is threatened, by Hayes. He pulls me in an
empty room and shuts the door behind him.
“What are you doing?!?” I cry.
I try to push him away from the door, but he won’t budge.
“So, your brother is having a breakdown, and this is what you do? Go around trying to sleep with this
fucking college boy?!?” He huffs.
“Why are you following me?” I mumble, but he keeps going.
I smell alcohol on his breath I’m sure he smells it on mine.
“Leave me the fuck alone Hayes. I’m having a fucking break-down now too, because of you! Just-just
get the fuck out of my way!” I push him again; but he doesn’t budge.
I scream in frustration.
“You weren’t supposed to be here!!! You-you weren’t even supposed to be here!!!” I yell.
“I kissed you, and you fucking leave Versa again! You leave me again!!!” I cry.
“Alex!” He calls me, but now I ignore him.
“Where’s Rochelle, I-I need Rochelle. I-I want to see Adam.” I cry.
“Okay!!!” He yells.
“I fucking hate you!” I yell.
“Don’t yell at me!!!!” He screams.
“Don’t yell at me.” I whisper.
Our heads are touching one another’s, and our eyes locked. Hayes lips meet mine first, he roughly
gropes my face while doing so. I can’t help but kiss him back, love him back.
I’m hesitant but Hayes’s body is leaning into me, we’re pressed against each other. Our eyes are
connected, and everything is buzzing.
Then the bathroom door inside the bedroom opens.
It’s Rochelle.