You Saved Me Once Book 1

Chapter 50: 34I apologize for that

The entire ride home, Hayes’s head leaned against my shoul-der. He slept the entire ride, I didn’t. I

couldn’t.

My high had completely worn off, and now I’m just left with a headache, a bruised body, and sticky wet

clothes that didn’t belong to me.

My mind was turning on me, as if I wasn’t already going through enough. I know it’s just my mind

fucking with me, but it was really fucking me over to the point where I was convinced. I’d con-vinced

myself that everything that happened today, was my fault.

Before I can try to mentally fix what my mind had morphed, we’d arrive at my house.

Everyone else gets out of the car. It’s just Hayes and I in the back seat, car lights beaming on my

mess. I hang my head, and stare at the black floor in fear of those outside of the car. I pretend to be

asleep when Adam opens the door on my side.

“Alex, we’re here.” He whispers to me, accompanied by a soft poke.

I raise my head slowly and look at him.

“Can you just take Hayes inside, please?” I beg.

I just felt so weak, but not tired.

I felt defeated.

This defeat felt like I lost all parts of what made up the person I am. Stripped me so bare that I didn’t

know how to act, feel, or live.

“Okay Alex. After, will you um…you’ll go inside the house, right?” He still whispers. There’s so much

sadness in his voice I start to whimper but cover my mouth.

“You bet.” I smile.

He tells me he loves me, before walking over to Hayes and wak-ing him up. I hear Hayes grunt, them

his mumbling slowly fades, so I know that they made it inside the house.

I sit in the car for a what felt like hours, until Rochelle taps on the glass.

She opens the door and frowns at me.

“I’m sorry Alex.” She states.

“Y-you didn’t tell Jeff, did you?!?” I panic.

“Why would I fucking do that silly. I WOULD NEVER.” She states.

She passes me a clean shirt, and some pants. She must’ve grabbed those things from my room when I

was zoned out in the back seat. Instantly, everything becomes lighter with items that was the old me.

Without realizing, the tension over my entire body lifts, I hadn’t noticed the weight until now. I look at

Rochelle with the sincerest face, on the verge of tears. Without exchanging words, I give her a hug,

now uncontrollably crying.

“I’m so sorry Alex.” She states again.

“I’m sorry Rochelle… you’re too good for me. I love you; you know?” I state.

“Don’t they all?!?” She insists, we both laugh.

“You change, I’ll be right outside… if you need anything.” She states. I nod my head and followed it with

a genuine smile.

Once I finished changing, I find enough strength both physical-ly and mentally to get out the car, to face

Lorene, Rochelle, and Jeff.

They were standing outside for a while conversing amongst themselves. Knowing that Jeff was willing

to drive an hour to me, con-sole in me without explanation, defend me, drive another hour back and still

wait for me to be ready to explain the entire situation. Honest-ly, his determination for me, makes me so

attracted to him. Although, I don’t think it’s just his might and patience. I think Jeff has love for me. Do I

have love for him?

I walk up to a tired Jeff, who can still give me a genuine smile at 3 in the morning.

“How are you feeling?” He asks.

“Better, thank you.” I say. I smile to him, but he seems off.

“You okay?” I ask.

“Yeah, just a little tired. It’s fine though.” He says.

I believe that he’s tired, we’re all tired. However, there was something else off about him. He could be

high.

“Are we going to just stand out here until sunrise?” He laughs.

I want him to come inside the house with me. I want him to lay by my side and hold me. I want him to

keep me warm, stop my thoughts. I just think I don’t have enough confidence in myself to be the same

Alex he loves right now.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.” I state.

“Did I do something in the car, was I going too far? Are you mad at me? Is it me?” He asks.

“N-no.” I stutter in sadness.

“Then it’s him.” He sighs.

This comment hurts more than expected, I’m holding my breath again.

“I’m just really tired Jeff. I think I’m going to just go inside and sleep.” I lie. Jeff sighs under his breath.

“With him?” He asks.

My stomach drops, chills coat my back.

“What??? No... He can barely walk on his own. W-why would you say that?” I panic.

Should I just tell him, and everyone outside why I could never be with Hayes in that way? Just to make

Jeff stay, should I just tell him all my secrets right here, right now?

“Alex, did you sleep with him?” He asks.

“What are you fucking talking about?!?” I shout.

It’s too late to shout, the echoes come back to me faster.

“Just go home Jeff, you seem really tired too.” I state, but in-stantly regret that.

“I-I don’t get it!” He shouts.

His demeanor is a bit off; he can’t keep eye contact with anyone anymore either.

“Jeff!” Rochelle shouts.

He looks at Rochelle in annoyance, then back at me.

His eyes are glossy now; I can tell he’s holding back tears.

“You text me, maybe I took it out of context. I thought you needed me. Maybe you were wasted, or

high…You seemed scared. But then I show up and see you and Hayes together. You were crying,

upset, and everyone is acting weird. No one will tell me anything, still. I’m try-ing to understand, trying

to talk to you, spend time with you. I’m trying to love you, but in reality, you don’t even need me. Alex,

you don’t even love me.” He states. His voice is shaky again.

“I do! I’m sorry, okay?” I cry.

“Why can’t we just sort this out now, I don’t want to go home without you.” He says. My stomach drops.

“I-I’m not doing the best…I’ll tell you everything… Just, not right now.” I state. He nods.

“This has nothing to do with Hayes.” I say.

“I’m sure that’s a lie.” He mumbles.

Rochelle is now standing next to me, watching Jeff in annoy-ance.

“You don’t understand.” I cry.

“Tell me!” He pries.

“I can’t!” I shout again.

“Then let’s go in my car, someplace in private!” He shouts.

“I don’t want to Jeff!” I shout.

“Jeff take it easy; we’ve all been through a lot tonight!” Rochelle is now shouting.

“Right, and no one will tell me anything. It’s fine! Fuck this, all of this!!! This is ruining everything we’ve

had Alex!” Jeff shouts.

“Jeff, chill out!” Rochelle shouts again.

“I-I’ll stay with Alex and watch out for her, I promise.” Rochelle stutters.

Jeff stands there cold, when blood starts to drip out of his nose. Rochelle and I look at him, then we Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

look at each other.

“Whatever, I’m done with this entire thing Alex. I mean it. Just, j-just leave me alone.” He says.

The flutters in my stomach beat, and my vision is blurring from the tears filling up in my eyes.

Jeff goes to wipe his nose, before walking to his car.

Everything inside of me is experiencing adrenaline, and heart-break all at once. I watch him start his

car when I run over to him in tears. He gets out of his car and gives me a hug.

“I’m sorry Alex.” He cries in my arms.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay. Y-you scared me to-night.” He states.

“I’m sorry I scared you.” I state.

“It’s okay.” He says.

We stand in silence for a while, embracing each other in a hug.

“I think I’m getting blood on your clean shirt.” He states.

“That’s fine.” I laugh.

“I love you I still do, I promise!” I cry.

“I love you too.” He says.

He nods, before getting back in his car and driving away.

About the Author

Amelia E. S. is an indie writer, who writes scientific fiction. Lately, she’s been exploring different writing

genre’s, like YA Romance, poems, and horror.

Amelia E. S., has been a very creative person since, she was a young child. She's very artsy, and has

been with different forms of art, for as long as she can remember. Amelia, is now a college student,

attending art school.

Read more at Amelia E. S.’s site.