Hatred With Benefits

S I X T Y - F I V E

PAIGE.

Blondie's eyes go wide after my palm makes contact with her cheek, not exactly feeling the pleasure I

hoped it would bring.

"What the fuck did you just do?" She let out as the books drop to her feet and I say, "I smacked you

and trust me, I want to do so much more. "

"Bitch, who the fuck do you think you are?" She snaps as she lunges towards me and grabs me by the

arm. She pushes me till my back is to the wall and before she can lift her hand, I say, "Emerson told me

to disappear out of his life. " The motion of her hand stills but she stays rooted to the spot.

"Look here. I know what you think of me. I'm the one who's trying to take someone who isn't mine, " I

let out and Eva loosens her hold on me, taking a step back.

I heave a sigh before I continue, "It's not what you think and I'm not here for what you think I'm here for.

Emerson and I... We share a bond. To me at least, we do. He was there when I needed someone; he

was always there. "

"He was there for you as a good friend; you took it the other way. " She speaks and I shake my head, a

soft chuckle leaving my mouth. "You don't understand. " And she truly doesn't. I wouldn't blame her

either way. She thinks of this as a woman who's in love with him, not someone who's trying to look at

things from my perspective.

"When Emerson and I met; I was escaping from my past and it was meant to be just sex between us.

But it turned into something else when he showed me I don't have to be afraid of my past. I don't have

to run away from it; not when I could conquer it. He was there, right by my side through every single

step. I know he set the rules and I was to keep to it, but it's impossible to not feel something other than

casual for someone who saved you, blondie. It's impossible to not fall for the man who held your hand

when the rest of the world turned their back on you. Emerson might have not fell for me, but I did.

Along with the sex and the comfort he provided, it was easy to break the rules. " I pause to look at her,

and a frown still covers her face.

"When I found out about you, I was pissed. Like every rational girl in love with a guy would be when

she finds out the said guy loves another. What you saw last night was my emotions getting the better of

me. No matter how much I try to explain it, you can't possibly understand because you're not me and

you are not the owner of these feelings, but I want you to know that Emerson was there for me first

before he fell for you, and it's impossible to not get hurt because of that. It's impossible to not want to

do silly things to separate you two. Emerson thought I would be fine with being just friends and I

thought so too, but that was until last night. I've been with Emerson in a way I've never been with

anyone else and it's hard to let that go. It's hard to not want more from him even when I know he's in

love with you. "

"So what are you trying to say?" Blondie interrupts me and I take a step forward, "I'm saying that I can't

be with Emerson in the way he wants me to, and he can't be with me in the way I want him to. Which is

why I'm leaving. " I never thought I would say those words. But again, I never thought Emerson would

tell me to never appear before him again. It hurt. Finding out he is in love with another and wanted to

remain friends didn't hurt as much as Emerson asking me to leave his life, but that pain also made me

realize what I have to do.

"Leaving?" The confusion in her voice is apparent and I hum, "I never truly understood the depth of his

love for you until last night. You're his happiness, blondie and I can't be selfish enough to want to ruin

that. I can't do that to him, not after everything he did for me. I found happiness with Emerson, but if his

doesn't lie with me, then I have to take a step back because I'd rather let him be happy with someone

else, than be unhappy with me. "

The words he uttered last night. The look in his eyes and the truth behind them made me understand

Emerson Ford isn't mine to keep. I was on my knees before him, yet all he thought about was her.

Wanting to be the bad one after last night is easy, but if there's another thing I can't handle; it's

Emerson Ford hating me more than he already does. Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.

"Why are you telling me all these? Why not to him?" She asks and I say, "Because you're the one who

matters, and I don't trust myself enough to not lose it if I stand before him. Moreso, Emerson doesn't

want to see my face. "

"You amaze me, Paige. I didn't think you were capable of this. "

I let out a cackle at her words. "I tend to do what's least expected of me. "

For the first time since we've crossed paths, blondie smiles at me. A real genuine smile.

She gathers the books from the ground and when she raises to her feet again, she says, "I'm sorry you

had to go through that, and whatever it is that you plan to do; I wish you luck in it. " I thought as to what

was special about this girl that makes her different from the rest, but standing before her now, I

somehow understand why Emerson love her. She radiates positivity... When she doesn't want to chop

your head off for messing with her man.

"Hold him, " I call out to her when she's steps away and she turns around to meet my eyes. With a

small smile on my face, I say, "I know I have no right to say this, but you should never let go of him,

blondie. Emerson is a good man, and I've never seen him in the way that he is with you. "

"You say that as though you wouldn't cross paths again. " She voices out and hearing the words from

her hit harder than when I admitted them to myself. I drop my gaze to blink back the tears before I lift

my head to her, "Maybe we will. "

She hesitates before she speaks, "Where are you leaving to?"

"Where it all began. The past he taught me to embrace. " After running away at the very last minute, I

thought Emerson would be there to catch me as always, but he wasn't. Not anymore. And it's time to

learn how to catch myself .

"Oh, and Paige–" Blondie's voice halts my steps and I twist my body to her view, but before I can meet

her eyes, she strikes me across the face; the sound deafening to my ears.

"What the fuck?" I shriek, holding onto my cheek as I look back at her and she throws me a small

smile, "A parting gift is highly essential. "

"You're crazy. " I proclaim as I watch her turn away, disappearing out of my sight.

"I didn't hit this hard. " I mumble under my breath as I rub the burning skin.

~

EVA.

When I reach the front door, Emerson's car is parked at the usual spot and I take several breathes

before I turn the knob and walk through the door. The silence of the room welcomes me as I enter the

living room and my gaze moves to the spot where I saw them last night.

Averting my eyes, I step forward and make my way from the living room to where I know I'll find him.

I'm about to walk past my room to Emerson's but I stop when I notice the door to my room is only half-

closed. I pace towards it and push the door open, striding inside to see Emerson on my bed with my

bag on his chest.

The sight makes my heart flutter and I stroll to his side, dropping to the bed as I shake him awake.

"Go away, " he grunts as he turns to the other side, taking the bag with him and I smile, "Do you

honestly mean that?"

I don't think I've ever seen him move this fast before; Emerson's eyes open and he turns his head to

meet my gaze, both shock and relief masking his expression as he sits up on the bed.

"My God, Eva! Where were you? You got me so fucking scared. I thought something happened to you

and you weren't returning my messages, and I thought–" his heavy breath worries me and I press a

hand to the side of his face to calm him before I say, "Shhh, baby. Nothing happened. Nothing could

have. I was at Aliya's and I ran out of battery. "

He doesn't say another word as he yanks me close to wrap his hands around my body, hugging me

tight to his and I lock my hands around his neck as I pull back to meet his eyes, "I'm fine. "

"Don't do that to me ever again, Eva. Don't put me in such a place again. " The pain in his eyes and his

voice makes my heart ache and I blink back the tears that threaten to roll down my cheeks as I say, "I

won't. "

"Is that a promise?" He raises a brow, his voice sounding disturbed and I smile, leaning forward to

press my lips to his chin, then I pull back and mumble, "It's a promise. "

Emerson's hand slides to the back of my head, and he closes his lips over mine. The kiss is soft and

gentle, yet so damn powerful in a way that I'm able to discern every emotion of his through it, and it

feels like he's communicating to me. The words are unsaid, but they're widely recognisable: I love you.

Don't leave me ever again. I thought I lost you. I'm so fùcking sorry.

When Emerson draw back, his eyes are soft like always and I smile at him as I drop a hand from his

neck to his face, caressing the skin as I speak, "I met Paige. "

There's a short moment of silence before he parts his lips, "Did she do anything to you?"

"No, " I mutter, sliding my hands down his face and letting them stay on his chest. "She didn't. She told

me things instead. " The words the redhead uttered echo through my mind.

"What did she tell you?" Emerson asks, pulling me out of my thoughts and I look back at him. "She said

she's leaving. "

"Leaving?" He repeats with a lift of a brow and I hum, "Leaving here, it seems. She said she's moving

back to embrace what she needs to. "

When Emerson doesn't say a word, I proceed to ask him, "Did you say anything to her?"

"I did, " he breathes, his hands gliding further down my back. "I told her I don't want to see her ever

again. I said a lot of things that weren't so nice, but now that you're here and you're telling me this;

maybe that's exactly what she needed. Maybe those words are exactly the words she had to hear to

take the step she's always been afraid of taking. "

"Do you know where she's leaving to?" I question and he nods, "Her mom, " There's a short pause

before he continues. "She's leaving to get her family back. "

"She said you taught her to stop running from her past. " I tell him and he smiles, his fingers drawing

small circles across my back now. "Maybe, but she never truly stopped. She learned to live with it, but

she never felt the need to conquer it, and I'm glad she is taking that step now. It's all I've always wanted

for her. "

"Do you think she'll be okay?" If the worry in my voice for the woman doesn't come as a surprise to me,

it definitely does for Emerson. I didn't think there would be a day or a time when I would be concerned

about Paige, but life is truly full of surprises. Sometimes, we feel we know everything, when we in fact

know nothing. And sometimes, we're always quick to judge other people without knowing their entire

story. Paige's story is no excuse for the way she reacted, but it's an anchor for it and in a way, I

understand her because we're all fucked up one way or the other and we all have different ways of

dealing with the bad parts of our lives. I saw her as a bad person, but she's yet another victim of life

struggles. As we all are. Her only mistake was falling for the man who was everything she needed and

in that way, I see myself in her.

"She's stronger than she looks. She'll be fine. " He assures me and I nod before I push forward to press

my face to the side of his neck. "I'm sorry for behaving that way. " My voice is muffled against the skin

but he manages to catch it.

"No, Diva. You don't get to apologize. I'm the one who's sorry for making you see that. I made the

mistake of letting Paige believe I'll be there forever, and I hurt you in the process of trying to amend that

mistake; I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm the one who's sorry. " He voices out and I pull back to

look into his eyes, "You had good intentions. "

"I did, " he agrees. "But the line I placed between us wasn't clear enough. I feel so fucking shitty

knowing I did nothing, but–" I press a finger to his lips, silencing the rest of his words.

"Don't. She has overcome her fear and she is out there, doing what should have been done.

Sometimes, things don't always go the exact way we want them. " I raise a shoulder and he smiles

against my finger, his tongue darting out to lick the digit.

"Emerson!" I'm quick to withdraw my hand as I glare at him and he laughs, his head falling against my

shoulder.

"It isn't funny!" I scowl at him and he raises his head with a smile covering his face, "It is. "

"I hate you. " I seethe and his smile gets wider as he presses me closer. "I love you. "

"I hate you. " I repeat the word, trying to hold back a smile when Emerson's grin drops and a frown

takes its place.

"You love me. " He says, pushing his face closer till my entire space is filled with him. "Say it, Eva. Say

the words. "

"I hate you. " I taunt him, then I say, "I love you. "

The sound of my laugh echoes across the room as Emerson attacks my face and neck with kisses; the

contact of his lips making my skin tingle in all of the wrong places.

"Emerson!" I whine as I throw my head to the back with my hands on his shoulders. "Stop. " The word

manages to break through my giggles.

After minutes of Emerson's playful attack and laughing till my cheek burns, he finally leans back. "I love

you, Diva. "

"I love you, Emerson. " And he flips us after those words, pressing my back to the bed with his body

hovering over mine as he captures my lips in his. And my heart in his hold. All. Over. Again.