Life, Once Again

After Story 276

Gaeul’s eyes sparkled as she looked at the side dishes. She looked like she was focusing on the food in front of her, not caring about anything else around her.

Dahae looked at her classmates who gave her mocking smiles and then at Gaeul before moving to stand next to Gaeul.

“Uhm, can I sit next to you?”

“I didn’t reserve this place.”

“Huh?”

“It’s up to you to decide if you want to sit or not.”

Saying that, Gaeul pulled out a chair for her.

“Th-thanks.”

“If you’re thankful, can you buy me strawberry milk?”

“Strawberry… milk?”

“I like it a lot.”

Gaeul frowned slightly. She seemed to be looking at her name tag.

“Choi Dahae. I remember your name now.”

She seemed rather eccentric. Dahae ate her food before looking to the side. Gaeul had a happy expression on her face whenever she ate. This was the first time Dahae saw someone eating like they were on a TV show.

“Is it good?” she blurted out.

“It’s pretty okay. It’s not as good as the food I have at home, though. Especially this spicy salad. It lacks savoriness compared to what my mom makes at home. The fries are worse than what my dad makes.”

“Really? Sounds like your parents are good at cooking.”

“They say it’s a hobby, but in my eyes, they’re better at it than their real jobs.”

She nodded before continuing to eat. She put aside the spicy eggplant salad, which she didn’t eat, and ate all the rice. Maybe it was because there was someone eating so appetizingly next to her, but she ate more than usual.

“Are you not eating that?” Gaeul asked as she pointed at the eggplants.

“I’m not. I don’t like eggplants because of the texture.”

“That’s a pity. Eggplants are really good though. If you aren’t eating it, can I eat it?”

“Okay.”

She pushed the food tray to the side a little. Gaeul thanked her and grabbed the eggplants.

There’s no need for thanks when I gave you a side dish I don’t even eat — she inwardly smiled and watched as Gaeul ate. The way she chewed with that small mouth reminded her of a hamster she used to raise when she was young. Maybe they looked a little similar too.

She waited for Gaeul to empty the tray. After finishing her food, Gaeul looked at her and spoke,

“You waited for me?”

“Huh? Yeah. I was thinking we should go together.”

“Thanks for waiting then.”

“No, well…”

Was it a habit of hers to thank others for everything? — she wondered before standing up with the food tray. They drank some water from the water dispenser before leaving the dining hall.

“Lunch gets a pass. Going to school will be decent.”

Gaeul walked forward with a satisfied face. Her facial expressions were really colorful to the point that Dahae thought she wouldn’t be tired of looking at her all day.

On the way to the classroom, Gaeul turned around. Dahae stopped and looked at Gaeul who was heading to the school’s left entrance. Gaeul, who was walking ahead, turned around and spoke,

“You aren’t coming?”

“Huh?”

“Hurry up.”

Dahae tilted her head and followed Gaeul.

“The school convenience store?”

The place Gaeul went to was the school convenience store.

“If you give something, then you get something in return,” Gaeul said as she pulled her arm.

Dahae was startled. Her pulling strength was not ordinary. Considering her stature, it was abnormal.

“Do you do sports?” Dahae asked after pulling herself upright.

“I did try various things.”

“Various things?”

“Mom told me to try everything I wanted to do. I like sports, so I did various things.”

Gaeul grabbed a strawberry milk without hesitation. It seemed she really liked them. Dahae also grabbed one.

“Wait.”

Gaeul looked around before bringing some chocolates this time. It was the type that had almonds inside.

“This one’s really good.”

Gaeul had a smile as she said that.

They went back to the classroom with the snacks that Gaeul bought. Although Dahae only talked to her for a short time, Gaeul left a deep impression on her. She thought about a large dog she saw on the internet. A cool, large dog that’s innocent, smiles a lot, and yet still protects its turf properly.

She sat down and looked at Gaeul who was at the very front. She smiled when she saw Gaeul being happy while sipping strawberry milk.

“Hey, I heard you read books?” asked the one sitting to her left. She seemed to know the person sitting in front of her as those two exchanged gazes before smiling.

Dahae glanced at them before saying yes.

“What book is it? Let me have a look.”

“It’s just a novel.”

“So let me have a look. I’m curious.”

It was a clear mockery. Dahae looked around before taking out her book. The others came over and spoke,

“You must be very good at studying huh? You have time to spend on something like this.”

“Is your dream to become a novelist? Aren’t short novels being taken over by AI writers these days? It was like that in the old times, but I heard that it’s still hard to make a living out of it.”

“Hey, hey. Look at this. It’s a Russian novel.”

The girls who were giggling while going through the book eventually turned around after losing interest. Dahae stuffed the book she had on her desk into her desk drawer. She didn’t do anything wrong, but her face felt hot and she started feeling nervous.

Throughout all of the afternoon classes, the mockery of the others echoed in her ears. She had to think of it as nothing much, but she kept thinking about it. She looked around for anyone to talk to during break time, but everyone had their own partners already.

She looked toward Gaeul with hope, but she was deep asleep. She fell down instantly once the break bell rang, and it was curious how she fell asleep every time.

After the 8th period, the homeroom teacher came in.

“As I said in the morning, those who want to apply for self-study classes should do so. Also, numbers 1 through 12 are in charge of cleaning today. Tomorrow, the rest of you are in charge. Starting next week, a cleaning company will take over, so just bear with it for the rest of the week.”Content property of NôvelDra/ma.Org.

“Yes.”

After class, the people who were in charge of cleaning were left in the classroom. Dahae also remained behind since she was number 11.

“Our area is the classroom, the hallway outside the classroom and the stairs.”

“Let’s just get it done quickly.”

The others talked to each other and decided on their areas. Dahae stood next to them stiffly. Of all people, everyone that teased her before was here.

“Dahae,” she looked at the girl who called out to her.

Nam Jungyeon. She was the girl who sat in front of her.

“We’ll do the classroom and the hallway, so you should do the stairs.”

“The stairs?”

“Yeah. It’ll be faster to split things up between us.”

“Okay.”

She felt like she was being swayed around, but she couldn’t say anything.

“But me alone?”

“The stairs aren’t even that big. Just do it by yourself. You just have to sweep each step with a broom and then wipe them with a mop. Easy, isn’t it? If you don’t get anything, just look it up in a book. You like books, don’t you?”

Hearing Jungyeon’s words, everyone laughed. Look at her face, it looks like she’s gonna cry — a boy even said that in a small voice as he looked at her.

Dahae quickly turned around. She didn’t have the confidence to keep a straight face while looking at them.

“Dahae, please.”

“Yes, Dahae. Let’s try our best. Or you can just do everything like your name says[1].”

“Wow, you’re a friend of mine, but you can come up with some terrible jokes. Dahae might be angry because that was so unfunny.”

“What? Do everything, Dahae. It’s funny, isn’t it?”

The words clearly contained a mocking tone.

Was it so easy to be bullied like this? Her knees started shaking. She started becoming a little afraid. What was she supposed to do if they kept treating her like this in the future?

Just then, she heard a series of claps.

“This is the first time I’m seeing something like this. Something as childish as this actually does happen, huh? Am I supposed to pay for a ticket?”

A clear voice could be heard. It was Gaeul. She was looking at the others while sitting on her desk.

Jungyeon looked at Gaeul and spoke,

“What?”

“Are you acting like that without knowing? That’s surprising in its own way.”

“If you want to say something, say it properly.”

Jungyeon frowned after she raised her voice. The people who seemed close to her gave Gaeul looks of hostility. The boys, who were just watching, kept looking as though it was fun.

“I’m saying I’ll go clean the stairs as well. Also, did something bad happen? Why are you so angry? If you make an angry face often, apparently you’ll regret it later on in life because it all remains on your face. An unni I know told me numerous times to watch out for wrinkles on the forehead.”

“What are you even saying?”

Gaeul, who came down from the desk, grabbed a mop.

“Just saying that you should do your best at cleaning. That way you can finish it off quickly and go home.”

Gaeul approached Dahae and tapped on her shoulder before leaving the classroom. Dahae escaped the frosty atmosphere in the classroom and followed Gaeul.

Having arrived at the stairs, Gaeul spoke,

“Mom used to say this to me: the fastest way to be taken advantage of is to stay quiet. Also, there’s another one: people should get angry when they need to be in order to be worth respecting. This is something my uncle said.”

Worth respecting. Dahae thought back to the novel she read during winter. She saw something like that in that book. It was a book that she liked a lot, and she remembered the author’s name as well: Park Daemyung.

“If you didn’t like me interrupting, then just tell me. I’ll apologize.”

“N-no, not at all. In fact, I’m thankful.”

“Really? Then buy me strawberry milk,” Gaeul winked and said.

For some reason, talking to Gaeul made her forget about all the tension and unease. Her worries felt insignificant as well.

Why did she stay still back then? — she even thought so. She didn’t do anything wrong, and if she didn’t like being bullied, then she should’ve just boldly said it.

When she calmed down, she smiled. This was not something to stiffen up about nor stay quiet about.

“I’ll sweep with the broom, so you can mop.”

“Wait a bit. I’ll go wash the mop.”

In an era where cleaning machines did almost all cleaning, wiping the floor with a mop with a wooden handle was something quite fun. In her middle school, there used to be a cleaning machine that cleaned the stairs with steam.

“Dad told me that they had wooden stairs in the old times and they had to wax everything. It was also common to get a wooden splinter stuck in your hand while wiping the floor with a dry rag.”

“That sounds like it’ll hurt.”

While they were cleaning, Gaeul kept bringing up episodes about cleaning.

Those stories that started with ‘dad’ were rather interesting. A cleaning exhibit that she didn’t even know about, drone-type cleaners, a towel made of advanced materials that specialize in removing stains, a cotton ball that perfectly removes all animal hair from furniture, etc.

“Does your father work at a cleaning company?” Dahae stopped mopping and asked.

“No, cleaning is a hobby for dad.”

“R-really? He cleans for a hobby?”

“From what I see, I’m sure he’s possessed by a ghost who died because they couldn’t clean. Thanks to that, I became a clean freak as well.”

For that to be true, though, she was perfectly fine sleeping with chocolate around her mouth. Dahae thought about what she saw during lunchtime and smiled.

“Do you talk to your dad a lot?”

“Yeah. Actually, up until elementary school, I thought everyone was like that. But I realized it when I went to middle school. It’s actually quite rare to talk about trivial things with your dad, huh? How is it in your house?”

“In my house? I think we’re pretty normal. I talk to mom a lot, but dad, not so much. He goes to work early and comes home late, so there’s no real time to talk either. He’s asleep most of the time on weekends.”

“My friends’ dads are similar. My dad is on the more eccentric side.”

“He sounds like a good person.”

Gaeul smiled instead of responding. Dahae could feel this while talking, but Gaeul looked like she was raised with lots of love. She was bold, upright and strong. Despite being the same age, she looked a lot more mature. Though, the way she acted in the school convenience store was like a kid.

“Would those guys from before hate it if I asked why they did that?” Gaeul asked as she swiped.

Dahae followed up with a mom and replied.

“It’s nothing much. They just seemed to have found the book I was reading interesting.”

“Book?”

“Yeah, a novel.”

“A book, huh.”

Gaeul leaned against the wall. Did she think that books were out of fashion as well?

“Books are good. I read them a lot. I personally prefer paperback. The feel of flipping over each page is really good. I like reading ebooks too, but they just lack something. Maybe it’s because I read books from the bookshelf since I was young.”

“Do you read books often? What books do you usually read?”

“Me? I don’t really have a preference; I read everything. If there’s a book on the sofa in the living room, I would have a look at the title first, then the table of contents, and skim through the first page and somewhere in the middle before deciding. If I like it, I’ll sit down and read, and I’ll pass if I don’t want to.”

“The sofa in the living room?”

Gaeul’s face twitched a little as she spoke.

“You see, I was brainwashed into this.”

“Brainwashed? What do you mean?”

“People’s environment, habits, and studies are really important when growing up, right? I was exposed to books from a young age. Okay, so, when I finish school and go home, there are times when mom and dad aren’t at home, but there are more times when they are. The moment I say I’m back, mom and dad would quietly go to the sofa and start reading. I grew up watching that, so at first, I must have imitated them without knowing anything. Then, before I realize it, I’m doing exactly that.”

“It sounds like your parents read a lot.”

“Reading is their hobby.”

“They have a lot of hobbies, huh.”

“I didn’t know this when I was young, but when I look at them now, both of them are very eccentric. Of course, I’m still young now.”

Dahae placed her chin on the tip of the mop. She wanted to listen to more of Gaeul’s stories.

“Did your parents say something if you didn’t read?”

“Not at all. Whether I read or not, they just let me be. But the thing is, there are so many interesting books that I couldn’t stop myself from reading. This is funny, but the thing is, during the weekends, when we all become sleepy after eating lunch, the three of us are all reading books in the living room. The only thing you can hear is the AC and the sound of rustling books. And if I look up, I see my mom and dad immersed in their books. It’s quite a fun experience to look at their dazed faces.”

“That’s not something I can imagine happening at my house. My parents told me numerous times to read when I was young, but I’ve never seen them actually read.”

“They are having a hard time, so it can’t be helped. My big uncle told me that people have the tendency to enforce what they lack on others. People who didn’t have an opportunity to study would tell others to study, while those who weren’t successful in life would preach to others that success is everything in life. That tendency is pronounced the most in parent-child relationships.”

“Is that how it is?”

“They want to do something for you hoping that you’d do well, but they say it in words because they can’t take action themselves. Sometimes, it becomes a problem when it’s excessive, but most of the time, it just comes in the form of nagging from your parents.”

“Hearing that makes me think that your parents are amazing. They’re showing you with actions instead of words, aren’t they?”

Gaeul frowned cutely and shook her head.

“Not really. My mom and dad just like reading.”

Just then, they heard people walking down the stairs from above. Dahae held her mop and stepped to the side. People who looked to be sophomores came down the stairs in groups.

“Hey, we’re gonna be late. The cram school van is already here.”

“Damn cram school van. Don’t they ever get into accidents?”

“Like hell they would.”

The figures of the shouting sophomores disappeared.

Dahae thought about the rows of cram school vehicles she saw from the classroom. As this school belonged to a pretty decent educational area, there should be many people who are earnestly studying.

“Gaeul, do you go to cram schools?”

“I guess I do.”

“Which one do you go to? English? Math? Or just general?”

“I go to art. No, that’s not right. I learn video editing and art too, so… let’s just say art.”

Dahae blinked and asked again,

“What about school subjects?”

“For now, that’s the only one I go to. It’s what I find fun. Before, I used to learn how to make pottery, but I lost interest after being able to make my own cup.”

“Aren’t you looking after your school grades?”

“I am. I’m studying a lot at school.”

“Isn’t that insufficient?”

“I thought about it, and studying is fun, but it’s not fun when I think about having to keep doing it. I just go through what’s in the textbook and dig deeper if I have an interest, but if not, then that’s it.”

“Aren’t you uneasy? It’s really hard to get into university these days.”

Gaeul nodded.

“University, huh? I honestly don’t plan to go to university. I’m pretty whimsical, so I might decide to go in my senior year, but for now, what I want to do isn’t related to an undergraduate degree at all.”

“Are you serious?”

In the late 2020s, the merger & closure of universities accelerated, consequently leading to the elevation of the positions of prestigious universities, while the rest became a university in name only by early 2030s. This was estimated to happen because of the low birth rate. These days, the times had changed and degrees from prestigious universities practically became a free pass for employment.

Dahae also thought about employment when she graduated middle school and prepared to get into university for the sake of employment. Everyone else lived like that as well.

Twenty or thirty years ago, people said that employment was something you prepared for in college, but times had changed. There were some high schools that ran employment classes.

In an era where studying was the foothold for employment, was it really okay to give up on going to university?

“If you’re having fun studying, then thinking like that is totally okay with me. But I’m not like that. I have things I’m better at compared to studying, and I want to improve on those. If that requires studying, I’ll do it to the point I start bleeding from my nose, but school subjects aren’t that. I want to maintain a moderate relationship with those subjects. If I become too close, it’s too much for me.”

“What if nothing comes out of that?”

“That’s why I’m trying out various things. There is bound to be something I can bring out my talent in. Definitely.”

Where was her confidence coming from? Dahae also once had a dream other than studying.

A nurse. That was her dream when she was in elementary school. Why a nurse, instead of a doctor, she couldn’t remember, but she told others that she wanted to be a nurse. A friend next to her said pianist, and the one next to them said artificial intelligence management. Someone next to that person then said president.

However, she graduated from that dream after graduating from elementary school. The moment she realized that becoming a nurse was hard and that the amount of work they had to do was extraordinary, she erased that from memory.

Now, her dream was to just go to a good university and get employed. That was the most realistic one after all.

“I’m not sure. I can’t be sure that there is anything other than studying I can do.”

“Sure? Well, can you be sure about anything in this world?”

“Studying gets you at least more than half the way.”

“Aren’t you saying that because that’s what everyone does?”

Gaeul, who was speaking, closed her eyes and shook her head.

“I’m not belittling studying. In fact, I think it’s quite amazing that people study like that. However, it’s not a bad idea to put down your studies if it’s not fun for you and try out something else. Mom always used to tell me this: It’s okay to waver. A path you found after wavering is a path of its own. That might become your own path.”

Gaeul put the broom on her shoulder and continued.

“Of course, the reason I can say this is thanks to my parents. It was my mom and dad who created an environment that let me think freely and support me. If they were having such a hard time that we were barely getting by, then I’m sure I would have turned out to be different now.”

“Are you rich?”

“I’m not sure about that. But I never thought that I was lacking anything. In that sense, I might be more than just rich.”

Saying that, Gaeul let out a sigh.

“But that’s just until high school. They said they’d pay for university if I go to one, but otherwise, I’ll have to do part-time jobs as soon as I graduate.”

“But you said you were well-off.”

“It’s my dad and my mom who are well off, not me. I don’t plan on being reliant on them either. Actually, I wanted to be independent when I went to high school, but dad was opposed to it until the end.”

“Independent? Isn’t that too early?”

“Whatever it is, the earlier you start, the better.”

“I’m not sure if that’s cool or strange.”

Dahae smiled and mopped the last stair.

It didn’t take that long when they were talking while doing it. She felt better too as she felt like she got to know Gaeul better.

This was how to make friends. There was no need to feel anxious, and just staying next to others would get you close to people who are on the same wavelength as you. That was what happened when she was in middle school as well.

“Can you tell me your number?” Dahae said as she took out her phone.

“Of course.”

They went back to the classroom together. They seemed done here as well as the boys were just about to leave with their bags. Some even thanked her for her work.

She saw Jungyeon and the other girls gathered around a window. The atmosphere was strange. It wasn’t just the ones who teased her about the book, as some that she had never spoken to before looked at her and gave her a mocking smile.

It was so blatant that she found it hard to ignore. The confidence she gained while talking to Gaeul disappeared instantly.

They smiled mockingly at Gaeul as well; Gaeul seemed completely unperturbed, however.

Dahae calmed her breathing and pretended to be calm. She got her bag and put her hand in her desk drawer.

The book that was supposed to be there wasn’t there.

[1] “Dahae” can sound like “Do everything”