Surrender Your Sensations

“I beg to disagree, Ms. Debate genius.” My forehead furrowed as he stood up in his seat as if he were really debating. “Isn’t it nice to know people without looking at their physical beauty but to look at what’s inside their hearts? Isn’t it nice to be casual and friendly with everyone, even with your enemies? Is it nice to not see people faking smiles and rolling their eyes at you?”

I smirked. “In all the questions you’d asked, ‘no’ is my answer. None of them are nice or good to experience.” I sighed before smiling bitterly. “You’ll only look stupid and people will take advantage of you.”

“Isn’t it nice to love a person with your heart and your heart alone?” Gelo sat on the chair before he gave me a salute. “You’re doing just fine, Meredith. Don’t discredit all the efforts you’ve done to live a normal life just because of your prosopagnosia and that lump in your chest. Not everyone can handle what you’ve successfully conquered.”

“But I think it’s back,” I said weakly before lowering my gaze. My hands clasped each other as the slight ache in my right breast reminded me of the situation. Right now, my prosopagnosia was not the problem. It was the curse of cancer and the consequences I had to go deal with just to escape the curse. “I think this is cancerous.”

“There’s no biopsy results yet. And if it’s cancer, I am hoping that you have no intention of giving up.”

I raised my head when I heard Gelo’s footsteps. He strode towards me and stood in front of me. He stroked the top of my head gently. “I’m not asking you not to give up, Meredith. I’m actually expecting you to fight like you did before. Angel will guide and help you. Your mom too. So, you have nothing to fear if it’s cancerous. We will hold your hand. We will go through this with you.”

I blinked repeatedly because the sting I felt on the sides of my eyes due to the tears. It immediately came to me. I have Rupert and Gelo now. There were a lot of people who were willing to stay by my side and fight with me.

“W-What if I end up hurting you all eventually? What if I lose this?”

Gelo stroked my hair for a while before he turned around. He leaned on the table in between us before he crossed his arms. “Are you talking about him? That Rupert guy?”

“Huh?”

“It’s obvious how you two feel for each other. I think it took some time for the two of you to realize it. But,” Gelo gave me a short sideway glance, “I bet he confessed now.”

My mouth dropped open and I looked at Gelo in disbelief. His face was blurred but looking at him made me feel like a normal person conversing would do. “How did you know?”

“I’m a man. And from the last time I met him, he already crossed the line for being a jealous jerk. He wouldn’t be that jealous if he didn’t like you.”

“He confessed last night. It’s,” I sighed. I frowned before smiling as I remembered Rupert’s little surprise to me last night. “the happiest and realest thing that happened in my life.”

“I’m glad you’re happy. Don’t lose him then. The joy in your eyes because of him shows.”

My smile instantly vanished. I sighed. “I’m thinking of ending us and leaving him if this is cancerous,” I finally said. The heavy feeling in my chest made me clench my fists.

“And what? Act like this is some kind of tragic romance novel?”

I averted my gaze back to Gelo. He leaned forward until I could see his eyes. He looked at me with sympathy. He even patted my head before touching my cheek. “This is real life, Meredith. If the lump in your chest is cancerous, you won’t leave the person you love. Instead, you will seize every moment with him because you won’t know when it will be the last. Is there tomorrow for the both of you? Will you wake up the next morning to see him? Will you survive to be with him longer?”

“I-I don’t want him to suffer because of my illness.”

“He definitely doesn’t want you to suffer without him by your side. He loves you. Loving includes the pain and difficulties, Meredith.”

I suddenly felt guilty for what I was planning to do. Was it really okay for me to stay with him even though my future wouldn’t be sure because of my health?

“Leaving is for the cowards and for the people meant to live in regrets for the rest of their lives.” Gelo kissed my forehead and then he stood straight.

He nodded before turning away from me. He started walking down the podium to the audience’s area.

“Gelo,” I called, which made him stop on his tracks. “Thank you.”

I suddenly realized that I was wrong. It’s wrong for me to push away the people who love me. It would be wrong for me to decide for Rupert.

“The debate topic for our training today will not be about abortion. Sir Romeo changed it,” he said before turning to me. “I’m sure you can relate to the new topic.”

My forehead furrowed. I was about to say something when the debate room opened and Minzy entered. David and Cherry and then our coaches followed her arrival.

“Good morning to the two of yah!” Minzy cheered, literally running to the podium.

Gelo chuckled when she asked for a high five. “The topic for this training changed,” Gelo said. I heard the knowing tone in his voice. “Our team will win today. Meredith and her team didn’t come prepared for this.”Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“Yeah oh!”

“That’s unfair!” I argued, getting up from my seat.

“Well, my team will beat you today, Meredith,” Gelo said, going to the negative side with Minzy.

I looked to my right when David hugged me. Cherry stood up on my left.

“Don’t be afraid of those two. They don’t have any emotions. The three of us are still better than them.”

I looked at Cherry, confused. “Don’t tell me, you also know that Sir Romeo changed the topic for today’s topic?”

“Yes. David texted me. It’s about pathos. Emotional arguments will be our training today. Again, to appeal emotionally to the people so that they will listen to our arguments.”

I turned to David. “Why didn’t you text me?”

David scratched his head. “I texted you. Did you not receive it?”

I frowned, simply shaking my head.

“It’s a pity that I prepared arguments for the abortion topic,” I muttered before sitting down. I pursed my lips out of annoyance.

Cherry and David laughed at me. They sat on the vacant spaces on either side of me.

Too annoyed with myself, I no longer looked at Sir Romeo and Ma’am Juliet who had already climbed the podium. I heard Cherry gasping and David said, “What is he doing here?”

But I didn’t look up because I was really disappointed with the sudden change of the topic for this mock debate training. The arguments I studied last night were all trashed. Now, I literally came unprepared. And I hated that so much. I didn’t like things not going according to me.

“Okay. Since, there are only five of you and it’s unfair on the side of Gelo and Minzy that they are only two. I invited someone to be the third member of their group,” Sir Romeo said and I heard Minzy whistled. She always does that when she’s excited.

So I was curious as to what Sir Romeo was referring to. I raised my head to see who was Gelo’s third member.

And I got my biggest surprise. The familiar shirt and pants. His hair, height, and that shiny thing on his face.

“Please welcome Rupert Santos. He’s a Biology student and ended up a good student of mine last semester. He took a Criminal Code class as an extra course so I met him. He did really well in that class.”

My mouth fell open. Cherry nudged my side, giggling.

“It’s my pleasure to be up against the debate genius, Sir Romeo,” Rupert said which caused my cheeks to heat up.

“Wait? Do you know Meredith?” Ma’am Juliet asked.

I bit my bottom lip. I didn’t know how he would introduce me to them.

“Yes, Ma’am. She’s my girlfriend.”

So, are we really?

“Girlfriend ?!” Cherry, like always, did the most ridiculous reaction out of all the people here. “Didn’t you say until then-”

“Cherry!” Minzy, from the other side of the stage, and I shouted at the same time to stop whatever Cherry would say.

Cherry did a peace sign before she covered her mouth.

Others laughed while I was feeling giddy. My heart was pounding because of Rupert’s introduction of me.

“Enough with the bickerings. By the way,” Ma’am Juliet tapped my shoulder, “It’s nice to know your boyfriend, Meredith.”

“T-Thank you, Ma’am.”

“For today, our topic will be on how you’ll use pathos and logos in dealing with a situation that is requiring a logical decision yet an emotional appeal.” Ma’am Juliet took her little notebook and read the topic she prepared for us. “Why does a person leave? Is it because he or she hates him– or herself?” Then he pointed to our side, “Or is it because he or she hates the person he/she left?”

I was stunned. The first reason was definitely my perspective. I hate myself … That’s why I wanted to leave the person I love.